A Good Marriage - The Perfect Partner

 

 

It is hard to live alone sometimes, and we often long to find a soul mate to share our life with; yet choosing hastily or unwisely can make us even lonelier than we are as a single person. Does this potential mate love God more than he/she loves you? Does he/she love you more than they love him/her self? These are important questions to answer before marriage.

 

Other questions are: do they enjoy spending time with you? Do they cherish your relationship more than any other part of their life? Do they share your Christian principles? If you can say “yes” to these questions, then feel free to say “yes” to a proposal of marriage. If any of the answers is “no,” then just remain as friends and give yourself room to date other people.

 

There are also small personal habits that irritate us during the dating stage that will grow into huge mountains once we are married. We can either change our focus about them and learn to cherish them, or we can give our self time to date other people. 

 

Does our potential mate support us and help us to reach the goals that we feel the Holy Spirit directing us to reach, and can we support him/her and help them to succeed in their efforts to obey God’s Spirit? Make time to chat about this as a couple and to hear new ideas from the Spirit through couple prayer time.

 

What words or behavior do you or your spouse use that hinders you or your loved one from feeling successful in this life? Converse about how to change these habits to be an encourager instead. We do not neglect our self and our needs, but we prefer one another (Romans 12:10). Pampering one another makes us truly feel secure, loved and cherished.

 

Prayer:

Father God, teach us ways to make our spouse feel secure and cherished in our love for them. Remind us that simple consideration, appreciation, thoughtfulness, random acts of kindness, fully listening when our mate converses with us rather than allowing our mind to wander or interrupting them when they talk to us, sharing personal and intimate time with each other, serving in a ministry together, snuggling some part of every day, etc. all help us to stay in love as the years of our union march past.

 

Point out to us how You see our spouse and help us to focus on those qualities when he/she does something to hurt us or to disappoint us. Strengthen our inner being to resist the appeal of the flesh, the lies of the world, and the destructive deception of satanic forces that filter through our mind. We love You alone, and we thank You for our spouse.

 

Thought for the Day:

Prayer for Us and Our Spouse –

“Father God, I pray for my spouse today, that they will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him/her and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)

That You will keep our thoughts and eyes from temptation, and that we will turn our eyes from sin and RUN from temptation (Matthew 6:13; Mark 9:47). 

Cause us to make wise eating choices and to avoid those foods that instigate poor health and other issues. Keep us in health physically, spiritually, financially, mentally, and emotionally,

Help us to hear Your still small voice instructing us, and only be led by Your Spirit. (1 Kings 19:12, Psalm 32:8). That our actions, thoughts and words will always be pleasing to You (Psalm 19:14).

Keep the sights and decisions that turn our head to honor You in ALL regards, and keep us holy, safe and healthy; that we will continue as a man and woman of integrity, discipline and perseverance in Your holiness and calling on our life (Psalm 25:12). In Jesus’ name and for Your glory. Amen

The Usefulness of Anger

 

 

Anger is usually viewed as negative and destructive. It can be, and it often is used that way. Yet, God’s Word makes it clear that God gave us anger for positive reasons (Ephesians 4:26):

1.  It helps us to defend our self in a crisis.

2.  It takes away many of the “masks” we hide behind, and it allows us to honestly communicate how we really feel.

3.  It gives us the adrenalin to run away to safety or to stand our ground and fight with supernatural strength.

 

We often use anger to protect our self, even from imagined slights and aggression. Yet, as a negative emotion, it is given to us by God for very specific purposes. He never meant for us to store it inside, to use it indiscriminately, or to vent it out on our self or on other people in harmful ways.

 

This is because there are destructive results of anger as well. Anger turned inward, or suppressed in our subconscious mind, will eventually poison our body, soul and spirit. Anger causes us to blame others for our own shortcomings, to puff up our self-righteous attitude, and to rip others to shreds at the least provocation. 

 

Anger at others is often linked to anger at our self too. We continually reproach our self with unkind words and criticism – many of these words which others used on us as well. The intensity of our anger may even grow stronger over the years into a secret hatred or disapproval of our self and others. 

 

Anger at our self erodes our self-esteem and causes us to doubt our abilities in certain areas as it diminishes the triumphs that we should be celebrating. Listening to the thoughts in our mind that accompany feelings of anger is very helpful in discerning why the emotion is in us. 

 

Are we reproaching our self, bitter toward someone who hurt us, drowning in hopelessness, sinking into a melancholy attitude, etc.? As we allow our self the “luxury” of fully feeling the underlying negative emotions that are actually causing our anger, we help our body and soul to affirm our true feelings, which allows them to decrease and for anger to dissipate.

 

Prayer:

Father God, Your Word cautions us not to allow negative emotions to seethe in our soul overnight (Ephesians 4:26). You teach us that our mind is the battle ground between Your Holy Spirit and our fleshly desires, as well as demonic influences and lies. Remind us that, even overnight, a small slight can turn into a mighty mountain that makes it impossible for us to move on in our journey into Your perfection.

 

Anger is an intimidating roadblock that prevents us from allowing Your Spirit to sanctify our soul in that particular area. We may be attempting to deal with our issues with our human understanding, rather than waiting on You to draw us out of the pit of destruction and to set our feet on the Rock of Jesus Christ (Psalm 40:1-2). Thank You that Jesus is our firm foundation upon which to trust our life. We look to You to help us to heal from the wounds causing our anger.

 

Thought for the Day:

Anger may cause us to adopt a critical and disapproving attitude toward our self, as well as certain other people in our life, which is way out of a reasonable proportion; instead, we can heed the advice of God’s Word and not allow hatred to grow in our heart toward our self or others, and to resist the urge to bear a grudge or avenge behavior perpetrated upon us; we can also learn from God’s Spirit to forgive, to love others, and to love our self as Jesus loves us.

-  Leviticus 19:17-18; 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

 

 

  

 

 

Pursuing God

 

The world sets a standard for us to chase after: power, fame, vocational success, continual physical attractiveness, financial abundance, etc. While God encourages us to pursue goals such as the fruit of His Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23): love, joy, peace, patience, humility, grace, compassion, gentleness, faith, and self-control. 

 

These characteristics allow us to move further away from sinful, carnal, and fleshly desires, and to have a more effective and spiritually productive life each moment of our day. The world becomes more self-centered, but authentic Christians become more Christ-centered, purer, and more intimate with God in union within us (2 Peter 1:5-9).

 

The more we surrender our life to the Lord, the less time and energy we spend seeking after the physical aspects of life. We rely on God’s Spirit to perfect us from one stage of glory to the next (2 Corinthians 3:18). We enter God’s rest (Hebrews 4:3), and we care less and less about the politics, fashion styles, trinkets and pursuits of those living around us. 

 

Of course, we do make a difference for God in ways that we can, but we do not worry or fret about the direction the world around us is heading. We share the Gospel of Christ with anyone humble enough to listen, and we wipe the dust off our feet (Matthew 10:14) when we walk away from someone with indifference or animosity toward God.

 

We rely on God’s Spirit to help us to enter God’s rest (Hebrew 4:9-16), to trust God to give us the desire and the ability to pursue holiness (Philippians 2:12-13; Romans 6:11-14), and to live an abundant life blessed by the gifts that God continually showers on His Saints. 

 

Prayer:

Father God, help us to see the relevance to our life that Christ-like attributes have, which worldly values lack. Once we stop striving to achieve worldly success, and instead work toward a more fulfilling life in the very center of Your will for us, we enter Your rest and experience a much deeper intimacy with You. You make us one with You through Christ in us. 

 

We are Your temple, Your Body, Your home, Your sanctuary, and You rejoice over us with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). We find so much peace in our life when we have fewer material possessions to care about. We value our mate, our family, our church family, and our time and energy to pursue You and to furthering Your Kingdom on this earth.

 

Thought for the Day:

We find more fulfilling fellowship with fellow Believers by all of us pursuing God together through being transformed in mind and character by His Holy Spirit each moment of our day; the esteem of the world around us holds no value to us at all, because being pleasing in the sight of the Lord is our major goal and pursuit.

A Good Marriage - Different Needs and Expectations

 

 

A marriage is the union of two unique human beings with both common and divergent needs and expectations. This allows for growth and compromise between the two individuals. However, sometimes, power struggles, disappointments, unmet needs, growing frustration and bitterness, etc. erode our feelings of love for one another.

 

Contentment at home, support from our family, making adjustments in order to get along, and unconditional love from our spouse are ideal ingredients in a good marriage. We learn to pray and worship and serve God together. We seek God’s will for our relationship when we disagree, and we stop expecting others to meet our needs.

 

Unexpected trials can disrupt the most intimate of relationships: financial, vocational, emotional, physical, children, overly busy or conflicting schedules, a widening gap in worldviews, changes in priorities, and other issues all put a strain on the closest of couples. Conflicts arise that seem overwhelming. 

 

The marriage may dissolve into angry conflict, criticism, a lack of compassion, life-shaking disappointments, and insurmountable disagreements. Doubting their love and decision to marry is the natural outcome of these negative reactions. Some people mistakenly look outside of their marriage for solace and emotional support.

 

Growing together in a loving union is the goal of marriage, but this takes humility, compromise, obedience to God’s Spirit, ridding our soul of negative feelings by journaling or counseling, preferring one another, looking for ways to bless each other, and to spend time conversing and snuggling and chatting every day will all help us to combat the frustrations caused by our circumstances.

 

Prayer:

Father God, help us to do our best to increase our unity with our mate, rather than to give up and dwell together in a miserable position of survival, or to initiate divorce in the hope of finding an improved marriage with another person. Remind us that unity in marriage takes effort for our whole lifetime. 

 

Of course, the longer we are married, the more involved and invested we become in each other, and the more patience we learn to exhibit toward one another. Trusting You for Your fruit in our life will allow us to follow Your will for us in our relationship. Remind us not to neglect each other by filling our life with our own interests and pursuits. We trust in You with our whole heart in every situation (Proverbs 3:5-6).

 

Thought for the Day:

We improve our relationship by:

·      spending quiet times together to relate to one another and to converse about issues that are bothering us, as well as blessings that occurred during our day; 

·      brainstorming to find a third solution to problems and unifying in order to overcome daily challenges; 

·      growing together in spiritual maturity and ministry; 

·      laughing often and enjoying each other’s company; 

·      patiently tolerating each other’s idiosyncrasies;

·      encouraging one another’s strengths;

·      praying for God to change both of us in order to meld us as a couple; 

·      daily snuggling and being romantic toward each other; 

·      etc.

 

New Jerusalem, the City of God

 

 

The house that Jesus went to prepare for us in Heaven is 1500 miles in every direction. The rooms are like mansions and we have story upon story of individual rooms. The city of New Jerusalem has no need of the sun or the moon to shine, because God’s glory is our light, and the Lamb of God (Jesus) is our lamp (Revelation 21:23).

 

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky gives witness to His handiwork. All of nature, both in the daylight and at night speaks of the knowledge of His glory. There is no place or circumstance where its voice is not heard (Psalm 19:1-4; Romans 1:20). We have no excuse to reject Jesus as our Savior.

 

Therefore, once we learn to believe God and to believe in Jesus, we have no need to feel anxious or troubled (John 14:1). The Word of God – Jesus, was with God in the beginning because He is God, and He became our Emmanuel – God in the flesh (John 1:1). 

 

When Jesus is revealed as King of kings and Lord of lords, the glory of the Lord shall be revealed to all flesh at one time (Isaiah 40:5). We worship the Lord Jesus, even now, because of His glory and strength. We give Him the glory that is due to His name, and we offer our total submission as an offering to the splendor of His holiness (1 Chronicles 16:28-29). 

 

He gives us the courage to declare His glory to the nations, as well as His marvelous works on our behalf to anyone who will listen (1 Chronicles 16:24). Everyone who conquers the devil’s lies and deception will sit with Jesus on His throne, just like Jesus was victor over Satan in his life and sat down on our Father’s throne (Revelation 3:21). 

 

God is glorified in us, as well as over the whole earth; therefore, we exalt Him above the heavens (Romans 1:20; Psalm 57:5). Whatever we ask in Jesus’ name, in order to accomplish the greater works that God plans for us to do, our Father will answer these prayers so that He will receive glory in His Son (John 13:32, 14:13). 

 

Regardless of how successful, steadfast and faithful our works are on this earth, we give God’s name the glory for everything that we accomplish. We can take no credit, because it is Christ in us that is accomplishing through us these Kingdom victories (Psalm 115:1; Ephesians 2:8-9).

 

Prayer:

Father God, we are nothing apart from You, and all of our attempts to work for You are only filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Help us to see that it is only through our obedience to Your Spirit that we can accomplish anything of lasting value with our life. We so look forward to the coming of Jesus on the clouds of heaven with power and with all of Your great glory (Matthew 24:30).

 

In this world we often grow weary and our heart is discouraged, but when we rely on You, we walk in faith because You are our strength and our inheritance forever (Psalm 73:26). Jesus is our King of glory, strong and mighty in spiritual warfare (Psalm 24:8). We look forward to serving You and to receiving our reward as co-heirs with Jesus (Colossians 3:24).

 

Thought for the Day:

We cannot imagine the magnitude of what God has prepared for those who love Him; but we shall all experience the bounty of His provision both now and throughout eternity - as our knee, and every knee in heaven and on earth and under the earth, shall bow to King Jesus. 

- 1 Corinthians 2:9; Philippians 2:10

 

Going Along to Get Along

 

 

In today’s society, we often fit into the mold of the world around us, and we go along in order to get along. We abandon our true inner self in order to promote our stock in other people’s eyes. We trade our beliefs and goals for what is more socially acceptable. We also ignore God and His plans for our life (Ephesians 2:10).

 

As God’s Spirit sanctifies our soul – making us more like Jesus – He replaces our critical spirit with discernment, our unsympathetic nature with gentleness, our penchant to manipulate and to control others to keep our self safe with acceptance, our focus on the flesh with the desires of God for our spiritual maturity, etc. The list goes on until His fruit take over our personality (Galatians 5:22-23).

 

Detachment from this world, its lusts, satanic lies, and our carnal desires gives us more time and energy for developing our intimacy with God. We start to recognize the blessings of God in our life and we live a life filled with gratitude, peace, and deep inner joy regardless of our circumstance.

 

God searches us and knows our heart, tries us and knows our thoughts. He sees if there is any wickedness left in our soul and He leads us away from sin, and toward His everlasting path for us (Psalm 139:23-24; Ephesians 2:20). This purging and pruning leaves us with room and energy to pursue holiness.

 

He calls on us to take frequent searching inventories of our thoughts, words, attitude and behavior to see if they line up with His principles. At times, we need to make an adjustment, or care for one of our needs, or to forgive and trust God with some issue.

 

We also start to notice the little things in life that mean so much. Pure joy and acceptance replace our constant discontentment and yearning for more of this world’s goods. We put people first and detach from our attachment to worldly treasures. 

 

Our love for God, our intimate union with Him, and our obedience to His precepts take priority over any other relationship. Then, out of our unity with God’s Trinity, we are more present with the significant others in our life, as well as our needs, and the needs of friends and strangers in our community.

 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for giving us Your Spirit to sanctify our soul, and to make us one with You, just as You and Jesus are one (Romans 6:5-7; Galatians 2:20). We are so privileged to share in Your Kingdom as co-heirs with Jesus (Romans 8:17), and to inherit everything that You have prepared for us to receive both now and in eternity. 

 

Help us to live exemplary lives, rather than hypocritical ones, that will be a witness of Your love and kindness to everyone around us. We do not want to hoard or amass inconsequential physical treasure, but instead to store up treasures in Heaven that last for eternity. You are our Savior and Lord, our Master and King, and we live to serve You now and always.

 

Thought for the Day:

As we walk through life, we experience victories or failings, success or regression, we follow a plan or wander aimlessly, we take giant steps or baby steps, we live consistently at times and erratically the next moment; therefore, it is beneficial for us to remain faithful to God’s principles each moment of our day as we share in His bounty and receive His constant blessings. 

-Deuteronomy 28:2; Proverbs 16:20; Philippians 4:19-20

God’s Consuming Love

 

As authentic, Born Again Believers we come to know God more intimately over the years, we experience the power of His resurrection in our own life through salvation, and we share in the fellowship of His suffering. Due to Jesus’ persecution, death and resurrection, His Spirit conforms us with the mind of Christ (Philippians 3:10).

 

We abide in Christ, and He abides in us. He is our Vine, and we are His branches. We hang out with Him, and His Spirit flows through us, bearing fruit for everyone to enjoy and from which we can all benefit. As branches, we cannot bear fruit unless we are connected to Jesus, our Vine (John 15:4-6).

 

Through this intimate connection, we learn to love the Lord, our God, with our whole heart, soul and might (Deuteronomy 6:5). If the Lord does not protect the city, the watchmen on the wall work in vain (Psalm 127:24, 139:1). He has searched us, and He knows us and what we need before we even ask (Psalm 139:23-24).

 

Our God is mighty and dwells in the midst of us. He saves us and rejoices over us with joyful singing (Zephaniah 3:17). We rest in His love, care and provision. Due to His tender mercy and kindness, He has compassion on us, which we do not deserve and which we cannot earn. 

 

So much so, that He arranged for Jesus to give His life to pay the penalty for all of our sins (Psalm 51:1-19). Our Father God also raises us with Christ and encourages us to seek spiritual things rather than carnal ones. He plans for us to sit with Christ on His right hand (Colossians 3:1).

 

God even knows how many hairs we have on our head – including the new ones that grow in, and the loose ones that fall out when we brush or wash our hair (Matthew 10:30). His love consumes every part of our life, bathing us with renewed vision, vitality and victory.

 

Prayer:

Father God, teach us to wait on You, and to trust You to bring Your vengeance and judgment on those who abuse and misuse us. You call us to serve our enemies, and not to take revenge into our own hands (Zephaniah 3:8). We want our focus to remain on You, so that we will live in perfect peace, regardless of our circumstances (Isaiah 26:3).

 

We want to learn to call upon You in our day of trouble, and to serve You all the days of our life (Psalm 20:1, 27:5, 50:15, 86:7, 107:6). If we are suffering, You call us to pray; if we are blessed, You request that we sing praises to You and to honor Your name, because You are worthy (James 5:13). We trust in You for wisdom, and You show us great and mighty things, which we never thought were possible (Jeremiah 33:3).

 

Thought for the Day:

If we humble our self and confess our sins – acknowledging that we need Jesus in our life as our Savior – He cleanses us and makes us holy; then, we realize that what we used to value in our life is useless compared to our relationship with Jesus.

- 1 John 1:9; Philippians 3:7-8