A marriage is the union of two unique human beings with both common and divergent needs and expectations. This allows for growth and compromise between the two individuals. However, sometimes, power struggles, disappointments, unmet needs, growing frustration and bitterness, etc. erode our feelings of love for one another.
Contentment at home, support from our family, making adjustments in order to get along, and unconditional love from our spouse are ideal ingredients in a good marriage. We learn to pray and worship and serve God together. We seek God’s will for our relationship when we disagree, and we stop expecting others to meet our needs.
Unexpected trials can disrupt the most intimate of relationships: financial, vocational, emotional, physical, children, overly busy or conflicting schedules, a widening gap in worldviews, changes in priorities, and other issues all put a strain on the closest of couples. Conflicts arise that seem overwhelming.
The marriage may dissolve into angry conflict, criticism, a lack of compassion, life-shaking disappointments, and insurmountable disagreements. Doubting their love and decision to marry is the natural outcome of these negative reactions. Some people mistakenly look outside of their marriage for solace and emotional support.
Growing together in a loving union is the goal of marriage, but this takes humility, compromise, obedience to God’s Spirit, ridding our soul of negative feelings by journaling or counseling, preferring one another, looking for ways to bless each other, and to spend time conversing and snuggling and chatting every day will all help us to combat the frustrations caused by our circumstances.
Prayer:
Father God, help us to do our best to increase our unity with our mate, rather than to give up and dwell together in a miserable position of survival, or to initiate divorce in the hope of finding an improved marriage with another person. Remind us that unity in marriage takes effort for our whole lifetime.
Of course, the longer we are married, the more involved and invested we become in each other, and the more patience we learn to exhibit toward one another. Trusting You for Your fruit in our life will allow us to follow Your will for us in our relationship. Remind us not to neglect each other by filling our life with our own interests and pursuits. We trust in You with our whole heart in every situation (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Thought for the Day:
We improve our relationship by:
· spending quiet times together to relate to one another and to converse about issues that are bothering us, as well as blessings that occurred during our day;
· brainstorming to find a third solution to problems and unifying in order to overcome daily challenges;
· growing together in spiritual maturity and ministry;
· laughing often and enjoying each other’s company;
· patiently tolerating each other’s idiosyncrasies;
· encouraging one another’s strengths;
· praying for God to change both of us in order to meld us as a couple;
· daily snuggling and being romantic toward each other;
· etc.
