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Growing up as a shy melancholy, I did not change very
much when I first came to Christ. I still hesitated to talk to people, for fear
of rejection and ridicule. Yet, I wanted to tell others about God's divine love.
An opportunity arose a few weeks later, when a school
chum pulled into the gas station just outside the window of the office where I
worked. I knew my boss would not like me to take time away, and I figured my
friend was also very busy.
So I just ran outside for a moment, greeted him and told
him I had some good news to tell him as soon as we could get together. He was
married to my boyfriend's sister, so I did not think much time would pass before
we could chat.
I ran back to my desk, excited that this would be my
first opportunity to share with someone about the love and mercy of Christ in
my life. A smile adorned my face for the rest of the day.
That very night…my lifelong school friend…committed
suicide.
When my boyfriend gave me the news, I was devastated for
his wife and their families, but more distraught because the Gospel of Christ
may have saved his life both physically and spiritually, if I had only taken
the time to speak to him when God gave me the opportunity.
I felt such deep remorse for days. I cried out to the
Lord for forgiveness of this sin of omission. At the funeral, I cried more for
my failure than I did for his family. I felt bereft and condemned by Satan's
shame.
The next day at work, I stared out the window, watching
the cars come and go at the gas station next door. I judged myself for my
failure and felt such regret that his life ended too young, and that his
eternal destiny was already set.
My failure haunted me for weeks, until I stopped rebuking
myself long enough to listen to the Lord. The shame of my failure left, but in
its place came a dogged determination never to miss another divine appointment
to share the love and grace of the Lord.
Prayer:
Father God, Your mercy and grace to forgive our sins of
commission and omission humbles us and increases our love for You. I know that
You had a plan for my school friend, and he chose to end his life rather than
to surrender His life to You (John 3:16-18).
Thank you for the many opportunities You continually give
us to share the Good News of the Gospel of Christ with everyone You bring into
our life. Help us never to hesitate from fear or human reasoning, but to step
out of our flesh and into Your Spirit, and to open our mouth and allow You to
fill it by Your Spirit (Psalm 81:10).
Thought for the Day:
Not everyone will accept the Gospel of Christ when we
share it with them; but we take them to a crossroad in their life where they
have to make a choice to accept or reject the Lord. - John 3:16-18
