As
a Pastor's wife, I have witnessed certain men who accuse their wife of
over-reacting; when it is often the husband's behavior and attitude, coupled
with selective-hearing, which builds up the frustration in his wife's heart.
If
she is not taken seriously when she expresses her feelings and needs, these
slights smolder in her soul, catch fire and flame out of control.
Then
her husband is shocked, feels like a victim and declares that he has to live on
egg shells around his wife, not being able to relax in his own home. He resents
his wife's emotional outbursts.
A
man will even lie to prevent a confrontation, which of course, only makes his
wife's wounds deeper, her security shattered, and her reaction more violent.
A
woman can bear mistreatment for just so long before she has to release steam;
and if she does not feel respected and understood, then the pressure cooker of
her soul will build up until she blows her lid.
Her
husband will proclaim that they have a "bad" marriage, due to the
emotional "abuse" he suffers from his wife. However, if he considers
his life without her in it, he will know without a doubt that she is worth
cherishing (Hebrews 10:24).
Rather
than blaming his wife, he can solve the issues by cherishing her, including her
in making decisions and dwelling with her with understanding. Taking her needs
seriously will help her to feel safe and secure (1 Peter 3:7).
A
couple with a happy marriage listens to one another, and one spouse never
insist on his/her own way; but they talk out issues and decisions until both of
them feel peace about what to do.
Prayer:
Father
God, men and women are so different in their needs; yet, we tend to love one
another as we want to be loved. This ends up leaving our mate unfulfilled and
unsatisfied with our relationship ( http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile ).
Remind
us to make one another our priority in life, second only to our relationship
with You (Romans 12:10, 15:7). You have a perfect order for marriage, and You
call us to serve one another.
Thought
for the Day:
A
happy marriage is made up of a husband who prefers his wife and her needs, and
a wife who lovingly submits to her husband, who lays down his life for her,
just like Christ.
-
Ephesians 5:22-25
