Our True Identity

 

 

We do not base our identity on the talents of our flesh or the state of our soul – our mind, choices and emotions; but on our relationship with Christ. Our authentic self is found in the person of Jesus Christ who dwells within us. We find our success by living, moving and having our existence in His divine presence (Acts 17:28). For instance, God took my insecure, introverted, melancholic personality and exchanged it for the fruit of His Spirit one aspect at a time. Thanks to the Holy Spirit’s regeneration, I am Christ secured and assured. I look at life through His outlook of faith and I never meet a stranger (Romans 12:2). That is true transformation!

God searches our hearts and knows the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for us according to God’s will (Romans 8:27). His life is manifested through us as we follow the leading of His Holy Spirit (2 Corinthians 4:12; Galatians 5:25). Jesus pours out His life in us to others (John 12:24; 1 Peter 2:20-25). As we follow His direction, He prospers our way and gives us His success (Joshua 1:8). He matures and fortifies us, as He makes His home in us (1 Peter 5:10). He also meets the needs of others through us, so that we might win to Christ whoever is willing to believe (1 Corinthians 9:22).

The Lord does not remove us from temptation or tribulation. Since He lives in us, He walks through it with us. He gives us everything we need to resist trials and to withstand sin’s persuasion; we simply need to utilize his wisdom and strength. He gives us His mind about the movies we watch, the books we read, the television we view and the people we hang around with. If we choose to ignore Him, then we will certainly reap corruption in our body, soul and spirit. If we choose to follow the Spirit’s leading, we will shine like stars in the Heavens (Philippians 2:12-18).

We have the abiding love and peace of God residing within us (Romans 5:5; Ephesians 2:14). We desire to live Godly lives, and we have everything we need to accomplish this through Christ Jesus (2 Timothy 3:13; 2 Peter 1:3). We are controlled and guided by His Spirit, which fills us (Ephesians 5:18). This is accomplished by the particular gifts of the Spirit, which He gives to each one of us individually (Ephesians 4:8-16; Romans 12:1; 1 Corinthians 12:1-11, 27-31). Christ performs His work through us, which God prepared for us before the world ever began (Ephesians 2:10). 

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, we function in life as a lamp, a vessel or a branch. You are the Light, which shines through our lamp, the vine to which our branch is connected and the substance within our vessel. We bear Your life in us, and it flows through us out into the world (John 15:5; Romans 9:21). We have no goodness of our own, not even by keeping the mandates of Biblical law. Our human attempts at righteousness are simply filthy rags in Your sight (Isaiah 64:6). It is only by faith in You that we receive in our spirit Your imputed righteousness (Philippians 3:9).

Thought for the Day:

Once we are dead to this world, we no longer submit to its standards, practice its worldly religious rituals or partake in fleshly extravagances. - Colossian 2:20-23

 

What in the World is a Boundary?

Read: Hebrews 12:12-13

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” - Proverbs 4:23

Our physical, mental and emotional boundaries define how we interact with others, and how we allow others to interact with us. Emotional boundaries define what our feelings are as compared to someone else's feelings. We should take responsibility only for our own feelings and needs, and allow others to do the same (Proverbs 19:19). Physical boundaries define who can touch us, how they touch us and how physically close a particular person may approach us. Mental boundaries concern our thoughts. They prevent us from being compulsive people pleasers or mimicking another’s opinions and ignoring our own. They allow us to say "No" and to ask for what we need.

Those of us raised in dysfunctional families probably have little experience with healthy boundaries. This can result in us disconnecting from who we really are. We learned to hide our true identity from others in an attempt to protect our self from getting hurt. A problem arises when we hide our authentic self for so long, that we actually forget who we really are and what we really need as an individual. Boundaries allow us to get close to others without getting hurt. We need boundaries, otherwise, we will not know where we start and others end.

A person without boundaries will not realize when someone is physically, emotionally or intellectually abusing them until it is too late and they are already wounded. When we have healthy boundaries, we know when people are violating our personal space. We then put emotional and/or physical distance between them and us, until they are ready to ask our forgiveness (Luke 17:3,4). Boundaries are not fixed. We can rearrange them according to what we feel and who we are within any given moment. When our boundaries are intact, we honor our individual thoughts, feelings and actions, which differ from those around us. Therefore, learning how to establish boundaries is an important goal in our personal growth.

In order to erect boundaries we must first find our self-worth in Christ and then overcome the tendency to live passively. Boundaries allow our authentic self to feel safe enough to emerge. Healthy boundaries become the fences that keep us safe - something we may have never experienced before we erected them. They are not walls without doors. They are fences with gates. We allow only safe people to enter our gate. Everyone else may talk to us from the other side of the fence. If they no longer want our friendship, then we give them the freedom to walk out of our life.

As we learn to identify and respect our rights and needs, we become skilled at assertively (not aggressively - Proverbs 15:1) taking care of our self in relationships (Colossians 4:5). If others get upset with us for taking care of our self, that is their problem. An assertive person expresses their views clearly and articulately without being overpowering and obnoxious. Assertive people stand up for their own and other people's rights in a reasonable and clear way. We allow other people to express their opinions without allowing them to dominate us (Leviticus 19:15,17). We have courage to express our own feelings, even about difficult issues and controversial subjects, in a way which is respectful and honest. This takes practice!

Those, whose boundaries are too rigid, live in fear of failure, rejection, abuse and life in general. They appear aloof and distant, and do not talk about feelings or show emotions. They exhibit extreme self-sufficiency, and do not ask for help. They do not allow anyone to get physically or emotionally close to them. Those whose boundaries are too loose often lead chaotic lives, full of drama, as if they lived in houses with no walls. They touch and allow others to touch them inappropriately. They take on the feelings of others as their own, easily become emotionally overwhelmed, giving too much, taking too much, and in constant need of reassurance. They may expect others to read their minds, and think they can read the minds of others. They say "Yes," when they want to say "NO."  They feel responsible for the feelings of others and for making others happy.

Those with healthy boundaries are firm, but flexible. They are comfortable with who they are, and they make others comfortable around them. They respect others and give and accept support. However, they are clear about owning only their own feelings, needs, opinions and rights. They know they are responsible for their own happiness and allow others to be responsible for their own happiness. They are able to negotiate in order to develop a Plan C, when neither Plan A nor Plan B is acceptable to both parties. They have empathy and compassion for others. They are able to make mistakes because they know who they are in Christ. They respect diversity, but they appreciate their own personal identity. God Word advises us to take constant, diligent ownership and stewardship over our souls, and to be careful of what is going on there (Proverbs 4:23).

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, help us to trust You with our soul. Negative emotions in our soul signal an assault on one of our boundaries. Teach us to pay attention to our negative emotions and to pray about what is causing them and what to do about them. If we cannot fix the issue, remind us to put it in Your capable hand to deal with it in Your timing. As we develop boundaries, we discover our authentic self. We reclaim our soul - our mind, will and emotions - as our own, and we subject it to no one but You. Help us to remember who we are in Christ, because You loved us enough to die for us.

(Read My Other Posts: “Who You Are in Christ” and “Who Loves You”.)

Thought for the Day:

It is time to be reunited with an old friend – and that old friend is you.

 

Love Your Neighbor AS Yourself

Read: Ephesians 3:16-19

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12: 9

Some people are self-centered, myopic, petty, puffed up, thoughtless, wanting more and more and not willing to give to others. Thankfully, they are few and far between. Most of us, however, are hard working, caring, loving and thoughtful. We consider others before we think about our self. If you are like this second group of people, I want to talk to you right now.

Sometimes we fight battles, which God never intended for us to fight, in an attempt to control our circumstances, to get ahead or to impress someone else. In reality, God wants to use our weaknesses, not our strengths, because…His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12: 9). We try so hard to be “grown up” and responsible, to make our significant others proud of us, to earn that promotion or reward, or to get that second job to make ends meet.

By trying to be strong, however, we often deny attention to the person who we really are inside. We ignore our needs and opt to care for others instead. By not relying on the Lord or being led by His Spirit, we have no energy left to care for our self. We overlook our needs in order to excel according to other people’s standards. This part of our self, which we deny, has many popular names in today’s psychological world: the authentic self, the true self, the inner soul and the inner child. I like to call this part of the soul, the “Inner Child”.

David, the psalmist and king, agrees with me. He said in Psalm 131: 2 “Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

If you ignore your soul, your energy level will go down incrementally, until you are running on pure adrenalin. Hope deferred does make our heart sick (Proverbs 13:12). You may even resort to pills, caffiene or energy drinks to pump up your quantum state. There is a side effect to ignoring your soul, however. I guarantee that it will use everything available to get your attention.

Our inner child speaks to us through dreams, addictions, illnesses, etc. This is a very real issue. It is very important to pay attention to this matter in order to heal from the emotional wounds we receive almost every day of our life. Most people ignore their own needs, because they do not realize that they are a person too, and that they have needs that should be met.

The two most important commandments, according to Jesus, could actually be broken into three mandates: Luke 10: 27…

1.)“‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ …

2.) “And, ‘Love your neighbor …
3.) “as yourself.’”

We can minister to our self in the same way that we minister to the Lord and to everyone else in our life. When I feel my hope weakening, I ask my true inner self - my soul: my mind, will and emotions – “What do you need?” or “What can I do for you today?”

This accomplishes two things. First, I feel like somebody actually cares about me, so that I am no longer stuck inside my body with no hope of getting my needs met. Then, once I meet the my needs, I have more emotional and physical energy to minister to the Lord and to my neighbor. It is absolutely ridiculous to wait around for other people to meet your needs. This is a very unrealistic expectation, and almost impossible for anyone to live up to.

Jesus recognized the need to have personal, quiet time. He often drew aside from the crowd to recuperate. After Jesus' baptism, the Holy Spirit actually sent Him into the wilderness to spend time alone in order to get Him ready for three years of intense ministry. Jesus also spent time in the mountains and on the seas throughout these years, resting in order to meet the needs awaiting Him later that day or the next.

We feed our spirit with Biblical nourishment. We feed our body at least three times a day. Now it’s time to start feeding our soul. I’m not refering to the flesh here, or to the carnal nature of man. I am referring to our human faculties of thought, action, and emotion. Without it, we weaken or possibly even shut off a very vital part of our existence, which God created for us to use.

Go fishing, read a book, draw a picture, take a nap, watch a Christian movie, sew a dress, take or teach a class, write a book, make a new friend, enjoy nature, etc. Do something at some time during every day, which makes you feel alive - not only in your body and spirit, but also in your soul.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, help me to follow Your example to draw aside for times of refreshment for my soul. Help me to obey Your Spirit and to allow myself times of nourishment in my soul, as well as in my body and spirit. Use me as a blessing and bring people into my life to bless me as well.

Thought for the Day:
When I admire the wonders of nature, the melody of music, the intricacies of art or the giggle of a child, my soul glows with worship for our Creator.