True Hope in Time of Grief

Sometimes our grief over the loss of a loved one, a profitable job, a cherished home, etc is so strong that we can actually taste it. We have unexplained aches and pains, difficulty sleeping, poor appetite or overeating the wrong foods, uncontrollable shaking and trembling, listlessness, disorientation, headaches, dizziness, dry mouth, uncontrollable crying, numbness or tingling, shortness of breath and exhaustion. Thankfully, these symptoms will pass as we work through our grief. If you find any symptom to be overwhelming or unbearable, contact a professional immediately.

Clinical depression can be a very real problem. Times of grief mangle our emotions. We bounce from unbearable depression, to rage, to a euphoric high or to debilitating hopelessness. Coping with the routine of our day is exhausting because our mind is full of confusion and grief. We lose the most basic skills for organization. The simplest chore is overwhelming to the point of depleting all of our energy. All we want to do is sleep. Once loved activities are no longer appealing. God uses this lethargy to protect us from the overwhelming emotions caused by our loss. In the darkest times of our lives, it never fails that our faith grows stronger and our personal relationship with the God of Hope deepens.

Equilibrium will be restored, but it will take time. It may also take action on our part. Our mind is Satan's playground in times of loss. Refuse to allow him entry with his negative emotions and thoughts. When you realize you are thinking negative thoughts, remember Philippians 4:8 and take your thoughts captive, "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." We are blessed when our help comes from the Lord our God in whom we place our hope (Psalm 146:5).

Your future is in God's hands. He wants you to live it one moment at a time. If you are doing well in this moment, rejoice in it. If not, then give the issue to God in prayer and praise Him through it. It is amazing what praising will do. You are limiting God by asking for Him to replace your loss right away. He may have other plans for you. He wants what is best for you. He will provide for your needs as you heal and are ready for them to be met. Therfore, concentrate on healing and leave your future to God. You will be able to function normally again, but it takes time with the Lord to fully recover.   The Biblical principles of hope can make your grief more bearable. God exists and He has a future and a hope for you that are for your good (Jeremiah 29:11). Cling to this certainty, as you experience your sorrow. God is all that He says He is. Tell Him your doubts and confusion. Jesus Christ is your only hope for a secure life, as well as your life after death. Praising His name and seeking Him each moment of the day will bring you more fulfillment than you ever experienced before in your life. If we forget God in our recovery, we will perish as those without God (Job 8:13).   Prayer: Lord Jesus, we are certain to the depths of our being that You are the Living Lord. Everything will turn out for our good, as we trust in You. Even if we are truly alone in this world, we can place our hope in You and pray in Your name night and day, asking You for Your help moment by moment (1 Timothy 5:5). The prayer that never fails is, "Lord, Your will be done." Once we come to that place of complete, total surrender to Your will, no matter what it is, then we set You free to bless us. It is hard to give up control of our life, but we will experience so much more freedom once we totally surrender and live in Your joy as our peace and strength. Thought for the Day: When we develop the mindset that we ultimately need nothing and no one but God for our future and our joy, we are truly free.

 

Living in Joy

Read: Psalm 92:1-5

“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” – Psalm 59:16

Living in the present moment keeps us from fearing the future and taking life for granted. As we pay attention to what is going on right now at this moment, we find joy in:

... the rising and setting of the sun,

... a butterfly floating on a breeze,

... the air we breathe,

... the laughter of little children,

... modern conveniences,

... dogs barking in the distance,

... the tick of the clock, 

... the whir of the dishwasher or lawn mower, 

... the flowers blooming along the roadside, 

... rain for our garden, 

... toes to balance our body, 

... clothes to keep us warm, 

... soap and shampoo, 

... singing birds,

... the sound of a neighbor starting his car or a loved one returning home, 

... the antics of a pet, 

... the glitter of the sun on the water, 

... the shape and color and scent of flowers, 

... the shape and texture of the clouds in the crystal blue sky

... and for a roof that does not leak! You can add your own blessing to this list.

As we tune in to God's joy all around us, we start to notice a change in the feelings within our own soul. We take our negative emotions to God and learn how to heal them. We also learn to multiply the positive feelings we experience each moment of the day. As we put our trust in Christ, we live in abiding peace and joy ~ not only in our spirit, but deep within our soul (our mind, will and emotions) as well.

Prayer:

O Lord our God, save us and gather us from the nations. We give thanks to Your holy name and we glorify and praise You (Psalm 106:47). The works of Your hands are faithful and just; all of Your precepts are trustworthy (Psalm 111:7). I meditate on all of Your works and consider what Your hands have done for the children of men (Psalm 143:5). I will tell everyone about Your kindnesses, O Lord. We praise You for Your deeds and for Your compassion and many kindnesses (Isaiah 63:7).

Thought for the Day:

Remember…Every tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Why Did You Die?

Psalm 139: 1, 14, 16
Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

Losing a loved one is the most debilitating and devastating experience anyone can ever go through. This grief extends beyond words and engulfs us body, soul and spirit. Often we find no solace in our grief. No word of comfort, no gesture of concern and no card or flower can lighten our burden of anguish. When viewed as loss, there is no solace in death. When viewed as our Homecoming, however, we find comfort and even some joy. When we take our last breath of this earthly air, we take our next breath in the celestial atmosphere of heaven. Death is actually the ultimate healing.


We all have a boundary around our lives. On this day, we will pass through the veil of death into the presence of God. These verses tell us how God views death from His side of the grave:

Ps 116:15
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. NKJV

Ps 48:14

For this is God, Our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death. NKJV

Prov 14:32

Even in death the righteous have a refuge. NIV

Ecclesiastes 7:1

A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. TLB

Ps 16:9-11

Heart, body, and soul are filled with joy. For you will not leave me among the dead; you will not allow your beloved one to rot in the grave. You will let me experience the joys of life and the exquisite pleasures of your own eternal presence. TLB

2 Corinthians 5:8
We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. KJV

Luke 20:36

And they never die again; in these respects they are like angels, and are sons of God, for they are raised up in new life from the dead. TLB

Luke 16:22
So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom.

Grief is a natural process, which has no exact time frame and is experienced in unique ways by different individuals. Feeling the pain of grieving is difficult, but it's an important step toward healing. This task can be especially hard for a grieving person because it can feel at first that you're being disloyal when you start to think about enjoying a life that doesn't include your loved one. This is far from true. Your loved one would want you to live a full and happy life even though they cannot be here to share it. They are in the joyful presence of God and dwelling now in eternity, you are the one still here on earth.

For many people, the hardest part of losing a loved one and grieving that loss is to figure out what to do with all the love you feel for them. Remind yourself that you don't have to stop loving someone just because he or she is no longer with you. When a memory pops up, send a loving thought to that person. Thank the Lord for the time you shared with your loved one.

The loss of a child is one of the deepest pains a parent experiences, regardless of a child's age. The pain of how life could have been with that special child is often the most difficult to embrace and work through. A good way to honor the life of a miscarried baby is to make or buy something in memory of the baby to keep your loved one close to your heart.

Make a special safe place in your heart for your deceased loved one, and allow yourself to cherish those memories for the rest of your life. They will enhance your future relationships because of the love you shared. You can also make a keepsake box full of treasured photos or mementos of your relationship with your deceased loved one. Perhaps you'd like to visit a special place you both enjoyed and allow the joy of your good memories there wash over you. Allow yourself to cry, because tears wash away the grief. It's important to realize that you can cherish a memory without getting trapped there.

It is likely that some of the memories may cause a stab of emotional pain now and then, when you think about your loved one. That is normal. They were very important to you then and they still are now. When this happens, it's important to remind yourself that these fleeting moments are a normal part of the grieving and healing process. They can happen on and off for years and they may never go away. It is important to allow yourself to have these feelings. Do not deny it, cover it up, ignore it or run away from it. Feel the sadness fully and when you are done, then let it go. Be aware that grief has physical reactions as well as emotional reactions on the body. Physical reactions include: poor appetite, disturbed sleep patterns, restlessness, low energy, and other pains. Emotional reactions may include: panic, persistent fears, nervousness and nightmares. 

You can write your loved one a letter, or visit their grave and tell them how you feel. You can celebrate their birthday by doing something special. You can have a party and invite their friends and leave a place for them at the table. You can journal your feelings because keeping them inside is not healthy.

Learning to cherish the memories without allowing your loss to control you is a very important step toward healing and wholeness. You are allowed to find joy in your new experiences, and you can take comfort in the knowledge that you keep your cherished memories of your loved one with you, wherever you go and whatever you do and whomever you do them with.

Some people are angry with God when their loved one dies. Allow yourself to feel that anger. You may feel like God took your loved one away from you before it was time. God knows the meaning of grief. He had to watch His only begotten Son die for the sins of mankind. Psalms is full of King David's grief over different aspects of loss in his life. You can read the Psalms, and as you relate to them allow yourself to feel the feelings completely.

Rather than focusing on your loss, focus on the time you had together and the person their love helped you to become. Know that you are loved in return and always will be. You can find comfort in God's love and in His strength to continue on in your journey. He has a special plan for your life that does not include your loved one. He will reveal it to you one step at a time. He will nurture your heart and your soul as you look to Him one moment at a time. 

God bless you today and always.