Psalm 139: 1, 14, 16
Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.
We all have a boundary around our lives. On this day, we will pass through the veil of death into the presence of God. These verses tell us how God views death from His side of the grave:
Ps 116:15
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints. NKJV
Ps 48:14
For this is God, Our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death. NKJV
Prov 14:32
Even in death the righteous have a refuge. NIV
Ecclesiastes 7:1
A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth. TLB
Ps 16:9-11
Heart, body, and soul are filled with joy. For you will not leave me among the dead; you will not allow your beloved one to rot in the grave. You will let me experience the joys of life and the exquisite pleasures of your own eternal presence. TLB
2 Corinthians 5:8
We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. KJV
We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord. KJV
Luke 20:36
Luke 16:22
So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham's bosom.
Grief is a natural process, which has no exact time frame and is experienced in unique ways by different individuals. Feeling the pain of grieving is difficult, but it's an important step toward healing. This task can be especially hard for a grieving person because it can feel at first that you're being disloyal when you start to think about enjoying a life that doesn't include your loved one. This is far from true. Your loved one would want you to live a full and happy life even though they cannot be here to share it. They are in the joyful presence of God and dwelling now in eternity, you are the one still here on earth.
For many people, the hardest part of losing a loved one and grieving that loss is to figure out what to do with all the love you feel for them. Remind yourself that you don't have to stop loving someone just because he or she is no longer with you. When a memory pops up, send a loving thought to that person. Thank the Lord for the time you shared with your loved one.
The loss of a child is one of the deepest pains a parent experiences, regardless of a child's age. The pain of how life could have been with that special child is often the most difficult to embrace and work through. A good way to honor the life of a miscarried baby is to make or buy something in memory of the baby to keep your loved one close to your heart.
Make a special safe place in your heart for your deceased loved one, and allow yourself to cherish those memories for the rest of your life. They will enhance your future relationships because of the love you shared. You can also make a keepsake box full of treasured photos or mementos of your relationship with your deceased loved one. Perhaps you'd like to visit a special place you both enjoyed and allow the joy of your good memories there wash over you. Allow yourself to cry, because tears wash away the grief. It's important to realize that you can cherish a memory without getting trapped there.
It is likely that some of the memories may cause a stab of emotional pain now and then, when you think about your loved one. That is normal. They were very important to you then and they still are now. When this happens, it's important to remind yourself that these fleeting moments are a normal part of the grieving and healing process. They can happen on and off for years and they may never go away. It is important to allow yourself to have these feelings. Do not deny it, cover it up, ignore it or run away from it. Feel the sadness fully and when you are done, then let it go. Be aware that grief has physical reactions as well as emotional reactions on the body. Physical reactions include: poor appetite, disturbed sleep patterns, restlessness, low energy, and other pains. Emotional reactions may include: panic, persistent fears, nervousness and nightmares.
You can write your loved one a letter, or visit their grave and tell them how you feel. You can celebrate their birthday by doing something special. You can have a party and invite their friends and leave a place for them at the table. You can journal your feelings because keeping them inside is not healthy.
Learning to cherish the memories without allowing your loss to control you is a very important step toward healing and wholeness. You are allowed to find joy in your new experiences, and you can take comfort in the knowledge that you keep your cherished memories of your loved one with you, wherever you go and whatever you do and whomever you do them with.
Some people are angry with God when their loved one dies. Allow yourself to feel that anger. You may feel like God took your loved one away from you before it was time. God knows the meaning of grief. He had to watch His only begotten Son die for the sins of mankind. Psalms is full of King David's grief over different aspects of loss in his life. You can read the Psalms, and as you relate to them allow yourself to feel the feelings completely.
Rather than focusing on your loss, focus on the time you had together and the person their love helped you to become. Know that you are loved in return and always will be. You can find comfort in God's love and in His strength to continue on in your journey. He has a special plan for your life that does not include your loved one. He will reveal it to you one step at a time. He will nurture your heart and your soul as you look to Him one moment at a time.
God bless you today and always.
