Relieving Loneliness

Loneliness attacks us stronger when we have no goals for our day, and when we sit around the house with little to do. The cure for this is to get dressed, and to be productive. This is a choice that we make for our self. 

There are many ministries that reach out to our community that need our support. Food banks and soup kitchens, children's programs, homeless shelters, etc. can often use our efforts and energy as volunteers. Planting and tending a garden is very therapeutic. 

We can go to the food court at the mall and observe people who also appear to be lonely. Chatting with anyone else sitting alone or showing any signs of negative emotions is a way to break the ice. Our listening to them helps them to vent and to heal from their traumatic emotions.

We can join a service organization, help at non-profit organizations, take a class at the local college, or learn to sew, do carpentry, repair a car, paint a picture, play a musical instrument, etc. Our neighborhood events and local church are two other places to volunteer. 

We get involved, meet potential friends, and end our loneliness as well. We can meet our neighbors, and we can find people in our community who are also lonely. With them, we can start a Bible study, support group, a book reading club, needlepoint or craft club, etc. Befriending another person who is lonely will give us positive feelings about our self too.

Of course, it is possible to be in a crowd, a club or even a marriage and still feel lonely. Our attitude makes a big difference in influencing our thoughts, feelings and choices. Seeking God's will for our day is our best chance for success.

Prayer:

Father God, help us to see that giving in to loneliness only makes us feel even more hopelessly lonely. Your Spirit will give us guidance and renew a spiritual perspective in our heart. We do not want to get in the habit of watching stressful, negative or ungodly TV programs or useless game shows. Help us to listen to uplifting praise music, and to spend our days in prayer for others and in praise to You.

Help us to avoid using chemical substances or other addictions to prevent negative feelings. Instead, we want to feast on Your Word and to walk in Your Spirit in order to feel good about our self. Show us Your will for our life and help us to meet the physical and emotional challenges of each new day. We trust in Your will for our life, and we embrace Your love for us, which is constant and eternal.

Thought for the Day:

Other people may not understand our circumstances or why we are feeling as we do, and we do not have to accept their criticism of us as truth; reading the Psalms in the Bible will show us that King David and other psalmists felt the same way that we do, and they found that the habit of praising God changed their negative emotions and outlook on life.

This Side of Heaven

In my childhood and young adult life, I strove to be lovable, so my parents, husband, children, and God would love me. I ended up with the curse of codependence, and I made many mistakes with my life choices. I never thought I would be loved on this side of Heaven.

Admittedly, my significant others did their best to love me in their own way, hindered by their own woundedness, insecurities and idiosyncrasies. Yet, I never felt loved. In my mid-life years, I learned about the Five Love Languages, and I finally understood why I felt this way.

Others loved me with acts of service and occasional gifts, but this was their love language, not mine. I always appreciated, and still am grateful to be loved by any of the five love languages, but the one my soul needs in order to truly feel loved is focused attention.

My first husband divorced me out of frustration, differences of opinions, and my overly emotional personality. I actually drove him crazy by my insecurities and anger. The man who proposed to me after my divorce adored and cherished me from the moment we met, and he showered me with focused attention.

He said that my worse day was better than his former wife’s best day; therefore, he appreciated who I was, how I served him tirelessly, and he was so grateful to me that I was not materialistic, and that I loved him selflessly and with his love language of words of affirmation. 

After a while, his busy schedule and his growing responsibilities as a pastor of a large, growing church prevented him from remembering to give me daily focused attention. My resulting resentment and anger surfaced more and more often, until he shared with me that he could no longer live with either one of these emotions. 

In our vulnerable conversations that followed his pronouncement, we agreed that he would really listen to me, take me seriously even if he saw no value in what I needed, and give me even a small amount of focused attention some time during each day. 

I also vowed to express my needs rather than to allow my disappointment to grow into resentment and anger again. To this day, we both do our best to keep these commitments, and our love and appreciation for each other has increased by leaps and bounds over our decades of marriage. 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for teaching me how to enter into Your rest, so that I could learn firsthand the depth and width and breadth and height of Your unconditional love for me (Ephesians 3:18). Thank You also for really impressing on me the truth that You loved me sacrificially even while I was still a sinner (Romans 5:8).

You convinced me that I do not need to earn Your love by my behavior, because it is a free gift that You give to the whole world (John 3:16-17). Thank You for sending Jesus to pay the penalty for my sins, so that I am guaranteed a place as an adopted child in Your family. I can never thank You enough for loving me, even while I still live on this side of Heaven.

Thought for the Day:

My husband and I both often express amazement at how wondrous we feel to be truly and completely loved this side of Heaven. It does not take a large expense account or exorbitant amounts of time to love our spouse in his/her love language; just a bit of study on what the love languages are, and how to love each other as we each truly need to be loved. 

-      https://www.5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/

This Present Moment

When we take a searching inventory of our thoughts, feelings and choices, we realize a depth of knowledge about our self. This helps us to discover if we are in bondage to our past, fearful of our future, or focusing on the Spirit's direction for our present moment in time.

The past is over and forgiven; therefore, dwelling on it only hinders the present.  We are not promised a future; so, dwelling on the future is also futile. God’s gift to us is this present moment, and what we do with it is our choice and our gift back to God.

Our optimal productivity comes from giving our prayerful attention to each moment as God provides it for us to enjoy. This helps us to keep our focus on God's will for our life, to walk in His Spirit, and to praise God for and in each moment of life that He provides.

We are often hurt by our past, and we feel anxious about possible future negative experiences. When our peace and joy are disturbed, we know that we have an issue that needs our immediate attention, and God's perfect management.

Once we submit our cares to God's guidance, He sustains us and keeps us from failing (Psalm 55:22; Proverbs 16:3). When we learn to completely trust in the Lord, and to delight in His presence within us, He rescues and delivers us (Psalm 22:8).

This knowledge helps us to put our circumstances into a spiritual perspective, to reject all anxious thoughts, to pray without ceasing, and to present our requests to God with gratitude in our heart. Then our God of complete peace guards our heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:5-7).

Prayer:

Father God, teach us to surrender all of our anxiety to You, because we know that You care for us (1 Peter 5:7). We trust You with our whole heart, and we no longer depend on our human resources. In fact, when we consult You before we make any decisions, we do so in faith that You will always direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

In each present moment, we encounter You on an intimate level. We experience firsthand the immense love You have for each one of us as Your unique child. Help us to concentrate only on what is occurring in our life right now, so that we can function more effectively in our ministry to You, make fewer mistakes, enjoy more fulfilling results, and live in the moment as You planned it before we were ever born (Ephesians 2:10).

Thought for the Day:

The trauma of the past and the fear of the future have no place in the present moment, because God healed us from the shame of the past, as well as the worries about the future; we are safe and secure in the arms of God in this present moment, even if the circumstances around us are full of turmoil and conflict. 

A Good Marriage - Living in Harmony

Some mates use affection as a tool for manipulation. We warm to the sunshine of their focused attention and agree to their demands, often in violation of how we truly feel. Then, once we agree, our mate suddenly withdraws his/her affection and reverts back to their cold, remote treatment of us.

In discussions with our mate, we often attempt to explain how we feel and what we really need. However, due to their mindset and worldview, they may discount the validity and truth of our deep needs, belittle us, and dismiss what they perceive as our “over-reactions” as invalid or assign them to our fears, insecurities or disproportionate sensitivity.

They end up ignoring our input, and they make decisions that disregard our opinions and needs, causing us to reap the results of their choices. This is when, as adult human beings with all of the undeniable rights of one, we can make our own decisions that prevent us from reaping the blunt of the impact on us of their choices.

Of course, when the event is over, and the results are in, they often have selective memories and insist that the consequences of this incident are our fault and not theirs. Afraid to own up to their own mistakes, they shift the blame to our attitude or behavior, and they insist that our memories of the event are faulty.

This may cause us to doubt our self and our recollections, and to accept the shame of the predicament they insist is our fault. They learn nothing from the incident, since they take no responsibility for their own behavior and choices, and they end up making similar decisions again in the future.

The only way to avoid or to rectify these issues is to pray together for God's will for our marriage. We end up making fewer mistakes once we decide together to walk in His will for us. Prayer keeps us both humble, helps us to clarify our feelings about every decision before we make it, and aids us in caring about one another's needs. 

Prayer:

Father God, remind us to seek Your plans for each situation that arises in our life. As we trust in You with our whole heart, and as we consult You in every situation in which we find our self, rather than to insist on our own way, we know that You will always direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6). This allows us to walk together in unity. 

Remind us that we do not need to manipulate one another to do things our way; neither do we need to shirk our responsibility in the decisions that we make, but to own up to our mistakes. If we refuse to humble our self, eventually You will make sure that we find our self humiliated by the results of our choices. Teach us that our mate is not our enemy, or someone to simply tolerate, but our fellow sojourner and prayer partner on this earth.

Thought for the Day:

In this hostile environment in which we live, marrying the person who is our best friend, our comforter, our prayer partner, and our support in our times of need is much better than marrying someone who hurts us by their behavior toward us, or someone who expects us to unwillingly submit to them, or who constantly ignores our needs in the decisions that they make.

When God Penetrates our Awareness

When our mind is full of clutter and diversions, we get pulled in many directions without any goals or purpose.  We experience a lack of depth in our conscious mind. Since the clutter is too overpowering, and we are not listening for His voice, God cannot compete with our distractions or penetrate our awareness.

Following the advice in the Serenity Prayer, we can start each day by praying for wisdom to know if we can change the situation we are experiencing, and how to change it. If we find that we cannot change the circumstances, then we ask God to show us how we should change our focus about them. 

Once we hear the answer from the Lord (Isaiah 26:3), then we put all of our negative thoughts, feelings, and circumstances into God’s capable hands. This allows us to focus on the positive aspects He reveals to us. We dwell within our inner sanctum with God's Trinity in our spirit. 

We purposely follow the guidance of His Holy Spirit by listening to His still, small voice within us (1 kings 19:12). This prevents the pressures and distractions of life from monopolizing our attention and from overwhelming us. Only as we dwell in God's will can we truly experience total joy and fulfillment.

       

We bask in the rays of His comfort and direction. When we return to the life to which God called us, we have renewed power to meet the needs of those He sends our way. We can forgive, we can nurture, we can empathize, and we can minister to our self in the same way that we minister to others.

The loving presence of God within us is closer to us than we are to our own self. God knew us before the foundation of the world (Psalm 139). He knew us as He was forming us in our mother’s womb. It stands to reason then, that He has a perfect plan for our life (Ephesians 2:10). 

Prayer:

Father God, please remind us to begin each day by sitting at Your feet and learning from You. Help us to enter into Your rest, to talk to You, to listen to You, to read Your Word, to meditate on what we read, to praise You, and to wait on You. Help us to still the chaos in our body and soul - our thoughts, emotions, and choices.

We want to remain in Your presence until You give us the assurance that we are ready to go out into the world and to accomplish Your desires for us. Go with us and in us throughout our day and night. Thank You that You never, ever leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). 

Thought for the Day:

The only way we will know what God wants us to do is to listen; then when we do take the time to listen, God meets us in all of His glory; as we sit in silence, with no inner or outer distractions, we reach a new level of awareness of our self, and of the Trinity of God within us, as well as a place of inner tranquility.  

Dwelling Together in Unity

God designed His family to allow us to help to carry each other’s burdens, which in turn fulfills the law of Christ by maintaining our humility (Galatians 6:3). Therefore, it is important that we are mindful of keeping a clear conscience toward both God and one another (Acts 24:16).

As we imitate God, as His beloved children, we learn to walk in love, just as Jesus loved us by laying down His life for us, which was a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Ephesians 5:1-33). God calls all of us to be kind to everyone, rather than confrontational. 

He exhorts us to teach His Truths, to patiently endure evil, to give no offense to our fellow believers (1 Corinthians 10:32), and to gently converse with those with whom we are in conflict. This will give one of us the opportunity to repent, because we come to understand each other’s viewpoint and perspective.

Following God’s ways helps us to come to our senses and to break out of Satan’s snare, which formerly enslaved us into obeying his will for our life (2 Timothy 2:24-26). We do not want to serve satanic plans, or to live as a stumbling block or a rock of offense to those God is calling to Himself, or to disobey God’s Word (1 Peter 2:8).

When we realize that someone has an offense against us, Jesus exhorted us to leave our gift at the altar and first reconcile with our brother or sister before returning to worship Him (Matthew 5:23-24). This keeps us from causing divisions in God’s Body.

If we readily forgive one another rather than to gossip with others, especially to those who have no influence over the outcome or who have no part in what occurred, we seek love and dwell together in unity (Proverbs 17:9). We never want to cause division in the family of God over some incident that happened to us.

Prayer:

Father God, we call on You, because we know that You will swiftly come to our rescue. You listen to our plea, and You count our prayers as sweet incense before You. Teach us to raise our hands as a sacrifice of praise to You, to set a guard over our tongue, to keep our heart from devising evil plans, and not to hang around with those who practice lawlessness (Psalm 141:1-10; Matthew 24:12).

We want to heed the warning of fellow Saints, when they see us slipping away from righteous living, because their love for us prevents us from offending You (Proverbs 10:12). Keep us from creating complications that are contrary to the doctrine You teach us in Your Word, or from influencing others to abandon their faith in You (Romans 16:17-18). 

Thought for the Day:

We never want to use our freedom, given to us through Christ’s crucifixion, as a chance to feed our fleshly nature; but instead, to use it to serve one another in the love of Christ within us.

- Galatians 5:13

The Forgiveness of God

In His constant mercy and when we come to Him for forgiveness, God erases our sins like a cloud of mist that quickly disappears (Isaiah 44:22). We follow His example by kindly forgiving one another with a tender heart (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13; Luke 17:4).

If someone harms us, we can privately share how this action made us feel. In fact, if they take us seriously, the ill feelings between us disappear and our confession improves our relationship (Matthew 18:15).

If we are not careful, unforgiveness on our part will keep us from obtaining God’s grace, will cause trouble in the Body of Christ, and will defile many with bitterness (Hebrews 12:15). God’s Word encourages us to walk away from strife and to consider quarreling as a foolish endeavor (Proverbs 20:3).

When we set an example that causes others to sin, it brings affliction on us (Luke 17:1-2). Yet, when we bear with one another with humility, gentleness and patience, we reap the blessings of a loving relationship that will last for eternity (Ephesians 4:2; Matthew 18:21-35).

God’s Word encourages us to walk in the Spirit rather than to continue to run after carnal pursuits (Galatians 5:15-25; Ephesians 2:1-10). Generously, He will give us His mercy, peace and grace when we confidently approach Him for His help in any situation (Hebrews 4:16).

Prayer:

Father God, the world today is troubled, and people are turning against Your Saints in our nation, as well as in other nations in this world. We do not want to fall away, or betray each other, or to feel hatred for those who persecute us for Your name’s sake (Matthew 24:9-10; 1 Timothy 4:1). 

You are ready to cause them to give account for their behavior, and to judge them accordingly (1 Peter 4:1-19). Help us not to conform our behavior to that of the world, but to allow Your Spirit to renew our mind, so that we can live according to Your will for us (Romans 12:2). Remind us that Jesus also suffered unjust persecution, so that we will adopt His mindset and follow His example (Matthew 5:44; Romans 4:25; Ephesians 4:3, 5:2; Revelation 1:1-20). 

Thought for the Day:

God pardons our iniquity, and He does not remain angry with us for our transgressions of His laws; He gives us His precepts to keep us safe, because He delights in us and gives us His steadfast love, as long as we do not grieve His Spirit by whom He seals us with His ultimate redemption.

- Micah 7:18; Ephesians 4:30; Philippians 3:15