A Good Marriage - A Constructive Ebb and Flow

 

In many marriages, we grow callouses to keep us from feeling. We suffer so many disappointments, hurt feelings, and a lack of understanding and compassion. We do not feel loved, supported, cared for, or enjoyed. Our mate spends more time with everyone else than they do with us. 

 

There is a lack of trust and consideration. They even choose chairs at social events that are at another table from where we are sitting. We are no longer best friends or teammates, but competitors on opposite teams, attempting to triumph over each other rather than to support one another.

 

We adopt defensive behaviors that oppose one another rather than draw us closer together. We resent having to spend time together, and we feel slighted when our mate chooses to hang out with friends more often than with us. We have little in common, and we feel like our mate’s profession takes priority over couple time.

 

One mate may put a financial strain on the marriage, write bad checks, run up credit card bills, have a lifestyle that keeps them running to the doctors for various pills to counter their poor choices in the food they eat, and beverages they drink. There is no financial accountability or budget upon which both spouses agree.

 

Making the children a priority over the marriage is another huge mistake couples make. Of course, planning family outings is a great way to bond as a family, but having couple times after the children go to bed, or at least one weekend a month allows fun “play time” to keep communication open and “sparks” igniting times of desire and unity.

 

Openly sharing together about needs, opinions, ideas, and feelings will keep a couple on the same page. Brainstorming about disagreements in order to find a mutually agreeable plan, rather than arguing about them or pushing for our own agenda, increases our understanding of each other and keeps us integrated as a couple.

 

Prayer:

Father God, Your Word says that “a merry heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). Teach us to laugh with each other rather than at one another, give us creative ideas for dates, and unite us as a couple and a family. Help us to bond over shared humor and to give each other focused attention for a least a few moments at some part of every day. Help us to prefer one another without neglecting our self and our needs as well. Teach us to ask for help or some shared time when we need it. 

 

Help us to see the need for showing gratitude, giving compliments, sharing congratulations for a good meal or success in our accomplishments, etc. Teach us to remain interested in each other’s vocations and to support each other in our efforts. We all need validation and acceptance from the most important person in our life, so help us to remain best friends even through the frenzied, traumatic, disappointing, and unexpected activities that life brings our way.

 

Thoughts for the Day:

Respecting each other’s viewpoint, even when we do not share an opinion or see any value in the thoughts and emotions surrounding them, will go a long way in helping us to feel cared about and supported as a couple. Expressing gratitude even for the smallest gesture is a vital key in encouraging a compatible ebb and flow between us as spouses.

A Life of Peace and Joy

 

God is not the author of chaos. He brings peace to every situation, regardless of the circumstances (1 Corinthians 14:33). As the God of hope, He fills authentic Believers with His joy and peace as we trust in Him alone. This allows us to overflow with hope by the power of His Spirit (Romans 15:13).

 

His hope never makes us ashamed, because God gave us His Spirit and poured His love into our heart (Roman 5:5). When we turn our focus away from constant earthly trials and center it on Jesus instead, these gifts from our Father God flood our soul. 

 

We gaze fully into His magnificent face; and the things of the world fade and become abominable to us, as well as weak in the brilliance of God’s principles, grandeur, and grace. Prayer is our lifeline with God’s Spirit (Acts 4:31; Jude 1:20-21; 1 Corinthians 2:11).

 

God gives us His Spirit at the moment of our confession of our sins. He is our advocate to help us forever (John 14:16, 26). As we walk away from our attachment to the world, we run into the waiting arms of the Lord. With the Spirit within us (1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19-20), we live in His freedom (2 Corinthians 3:17).

 

If we say, think, or do something that grieves the Holy Spirit, then we lose His attention until we repent (Acts 2:38). Repentance reopens the line of communication for us, and God’s freedom and power rush into our spirit again (Ephesians 4:30; Acts 1:8). 

 

God does not encourage us to make our own plans and ask Him to bless them. He has specific mandates in His Word about how to act and what to do (Matthew 28:19-20; Ezekiel 36:27). God’s Spirit guides us each step of the way all through every day (Psalm 143:10).

 

Prayer:

Father God, Jesus told His disciples that He needed to return to Heaven, so the Advocate could come. He said this was the Spirit of truth sent to us by You and who testifies about Jesus (John 15:26). This is God the Holy Spirit. He is so involved in our life that Jesus said that if we are ever brought to trial, His Spirit would inspire us to say what You direct us to say (Mark 13:11). Truly, we could not live one day without Your Spirit’s inspiration and direction in our life.

 

Thank You that the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, Your love, and the fellowship of Your Spirit is always with us (2 Corinthians 13:14). We love that we find our fulfillment in the center of Your will for us. Teach us to walk in the Spirit and to always humble our self to allow You to use us for Your glory. You watch out for all of those who seek Your face.

 

Thoughts for the Day:

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Proverbs 9:10-12). Without it, we are reduced to fools. Even if we find our self alone in the world, God is always with us, removing our fears and restoring our confidence in His love and care for us (Joshua 1:9). God will provide us with what He knows will bring us fulfillment in His timing and way. His presence is more special than anything this world offers because His divinity is love personified.

 

 

Improving our Overall Health

 

God’s Word admonishes us to love others as we love our self (Matthew 22:36-40). One action that is hard for most humans to accomplish is to take care of our body, soul, and spirit. Patience with our self and others is usually a painstaking effort. We lack compassion for the weaknesses in our self and others.

 

It is easier for us to blame, feel guilt, and judge – even though the basis for this behavior is colored by the example of adults in our life and by our own frustration level. We often feel abandoned and betrayed, which causes us to wrestle with a negative attitude and emotions. These also affect the health of our spirit and body (3 John 1:2).

 

Our thoughts and attitude affect our overall health. Stress is a killer, and depression also negatively impacts our health. Many of our health issues are caused by a leaky “gut” that is compromised by chemicals in garden fertilizers, and food additives, and preservatives as well as medication prescribed by our doctors.

 

A great way to improve our life is to rejoice evermore (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), and to eliminate toxic chemicals from entering our body through our nose, mouth, and skin. Having compassion on our self and those God gave us to cherish is a great healer. Encouragment, gratitude, and empathy go a long way in healing our self and others.

 

The proper amount of sleep decreases stress; encourages physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual restoration; and improves our overall health and attitude. Reducing busyness in our schedule, making time to play and have fun, and including Bible reading and prayer in our daily agenda will also improve our health.

 

Keeping a daily post in a journal helps us to empty our soul of pent-up emotions as well as enables us to see what is really bothering our soul. This allows us to release negative emotions, record positive emotions and events, as well as write our prayers and praises to our Daddy God. We can also record our food intake and isolate possible allergies to certain foods and chemical additives if we are so inclined.

 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for teaching us to live in Your peace and joy rather than to be overcome by negative issues. Remind us that sleep and a lack of anxiety decreases our stress and encourages physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health and attitude. Teach us to manage the busyness of our schedule by prioritizing according to Your will for each moment of our day. Help us to think of ways to make time to play, have fun, grow into spiritual maturity, and pray without ceasing as we go about the duties of our day. 

 

Remind us of easy ways to include exercise in our day. Teach us the importance of planning meals so we can stop eating 3 hours before bedtime, to use “blue blockers” with our evening computer usage, not to stare at our digital clock throughout the night, but to allow our mind to “chill,” to use natural sleep aids if necessary, and to sing praises in our heart to You as we fall asleep. We want to live for Your glory now and forevermore; therefore, eating whole foods, insuring good hygiene, and encouraging restorative sleep can really help us to enjoy more energy during the day.

 

Thoughts for the Day:

Reducing stress in this modern day and time is close to unmanageable, but not impossible. Inflammation is one of the chief causes of pain in our body. We can decrease inflammation by increasing our hydration with filtered water, organic fruits and vegetables, organic teas, and soups of all kinds. Our cortisol level is also very important, which is decreased by chronic stress in our life, so reducing stress is vital to our health. Focusing on ways to relax will not only improve our health, but will allow us to enjoy more time to rest in the Lord. This improves the proper functioning of our immune system and increases our health in body, soul, and spirit.

Led by God’s Peace

 

The peace of God transcends our human understanding, and often contradicts the norms of our world. If we love this world and the things of this world, God’s love is not in us (1 John 2:15). When circumstances cry out for our worry and control, God’s peace melts away all anxiety and fear in our soul (John 14:27). 

 

As we focus on God’s will for each moment of our day, He keeps us in His perfect peace, because we trust in Him alone (Isaiah 26:3). We are not conformed by or dictated to by the philosophy of this world, because God transforms and renews our mind with the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16).

 

God’s peace enables us to discern what is the good, acceptable, and perfect will of God for us all throughout the day (Romans 12:2). When we prefer God’s will over our own desires and goals, and we shun the ways of the world, we walk in great peace (Psalm 119:165). 

 

Our Father God blesses us, keeps us, is gracious to us, makes His face to shine on us, and gives us His abundant peace (Numbers 6:24-26). The words of Jesus, recorded for us in all four Gospels, give us peace regardless of the trials we are experiencing at any given moment. 

 

Jesus already overcame the world, death, and the grave, and He abides within every authentic Believer (John 16:33). Therefore, we have no need to be afraid of any circumstance, because when we pray and appeal to Him with gratitude in our heart, He considers our requests.

 

Then He inundates our heart with His peace, love, and joy regardless of the direction our answered prayer takes (Philippians 4:6-7). He often answers our prayers in ways we did not expect or anticipate, but the result exceeds our finite desires, defies even our greatest imaginations, and always works out for our ultimate good (Romans 8:28). 

 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You that we rest and sleep in Your peace and safety even in the most horrifying of trials (Psalm 4:8). Help us to promote Your peace in the lives of everyone in our sphere of influence (Colossians 3:13). Remind us not to speak evil or deceit, to do good, to seek Your peace, and to strictly follow it rather than our human understanding (1 Peter 3:10-11).

 

We want Your peace to rule in our heart, to dictate our thoughts, and to control our behavior as we walk in gratitude to You for who You are and all that You do for us each day (Colossians 3:15). When we seek Your will, You multiply Your mercy, peace and love in our life (Jude 1:2). It is only in Your peace within us that the fruit of righteousness can flourish (James 3:18).

 

Thoughts for the Day:
As we depart from evil, do good, seek God’s peace, and pursue it moment-by-moment (Psalm 34:14), we see God’s will and learn to follow His peace in every situation in our life (Hebrews 12:14). His peace also allows us to remain as a unified Body in the bond of His peace (Ephesians 4:3). The Lord of peace Himself gives us His peace in every way and is always available to us all (2 Thessalonians 3:16-18).

A Funny Trick

 

Last week, the Lord played a funny trick on me. I am still laughing about it today. You see, every day I use nose and eye drops when I first wake up to prepare my sinuses and eyes for allergens I will encounter that day – I am allergic to five different species of trees, as well as some plants and toxins in the environment.

 

Well, one morning last week, I could not find my eye drops. I searched the plastic box I usually keep them in, as well as the wire basket that the box is in, and the tissue box I keep next to the wire basket, and behind and under both items, and in the covers all around me, but to no avail.

 

I fell asleep again for a couple of hours, which is very unusual, and when I woke up, right there at my eye level was the tiny glass bottle of eye drops delicately perched on the top edge of the plastic box and the wire basket in my plain sight. 

 

It must have been hidden in the folds of my blanket and as I took that extra nap, the Lord flipped that bottle from the blanket to cause the drops to precariously tetter on the top edge of the box and basket right in the direction of my eyesight when I woke up. 

 

Of course, I started laughing at such a strange phenomenon and I felt the love of my Daddy God penetrating every fiber of my being. He is always doing things for me to remind me of His love for me – using things like the numbers on the clock, heart-shaped pebbles in a stone driveway or parking lot, or putting a song in my heart that brings me tears of joy for His redemption of my life.

 

My desperate prayer is that those who do not have this intimate unity with the Creator of the Universe, will humble themselves and turn away from their selfish lifestyle and embrace the salvation available to everyone in order to be part of His adopted family (John 3:16-18). 

 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You so much for Your active presence in our life, once we walk away from the sins that so easily tempt us in order to surrender control of our life to You. With each passing day of Your Spirit’s sanctification of our life, sin grieves us just as it does You. We find no joy in participating in any activity that robs You of Your glory and the praise and honor that You deserve.

 

We chase after more holiness in our choices, and we reap fewer trials and negative circumstances and emotions from the consequences of our decisions. You walk with us through every moment of our life, as we abandon the yoke of our own earthly goals and dreams, and instead take Your yoke upon our self, which is easy and light (Matthew 11:28-30). Eternity will not even give us enough time to give You all the praise and gratitude that You deserve.

 

Thoughts for the Day:

God became a man in the form of Jesus Christ in order to ransom the whole world, in every generation and nation starting with His creation of the whole universe, from Adam’s original sin of disobedience as well as our individual transgressions of His principles (John 1:1-14). As we hunger after Him and simplify our lifestyle in order to embrace His rightful place in our life, we find His peace, power, guidance, and joy each and every moment of our life.

A Good Marriage - Dwell with Understanding

 

God’s Word expects a man to dwell with his wife with understanding (1 Peter 3:7). Most men say that it is impossible to understand a woman, but this is simply because men and women usually think in dissimilar realms, as well as have different expectations and hopes and dreams of what marriage will mean to them. 

 

Listening to a wife’s words and closely watching her body language will often give a man a clue that enables him to dwell with her with understanding. However, if he filters her expressions through his male mind, he may miss the importance of her clues and reject them completely, or even despise or feel frustrated over what he hears and sees.

 

His dismissal discourages his wife, and makes her feel unloved, unappreciated, unimportant in her husband’s life, and discounted as a person with value. Yet, when a man takes his wife’s needs seriously and makes her feelings and opinions paramount in his priorities, he starts to dwell with her with understanding.

 

Actively listening to our spouse, supporting him/her in their concerns, and making the solution to their issues of vital importance in their own life will increase the flow of intimacy between both mates. A husband and wife draw closer and truly become “one flesh.”

 

If our spouse wants to talk to us at an inconvenient time due to our other responsibilities, we can quickly decide on a better time that will quietly provide us with conducive surroundings to give one another our complete attention. Fully listening and accept their thoughts as valid and important is better than interrupting them to offer a quick piece of advice.

 

Making our spouse feel supported and loved provides many rewards for us, because it encourages him/her to offer the same security for us. Together, we mature spiritually, and our unity grows deeper over the years. We encourage each other by our example (Proverbs 27:17).

 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for abiding within us and walking with us through all the challenges of life. Your presence in both of us will ensure our success as a couple. You increase our commitment to one another as we daily intensify our trust in You. Remind us to spend the bulk of our time only with other couples that share this mutual commitment and allow us to serve as an example of Your presence in a marriage.

 

Remind us that when we value one another’s assistance in our marriage, and we focus on our strengths as we exhibit compassion and understanding toward our weaknesses, we give Satan fewer opportunities to drive a wedge between us. Help us to cultivate the feelings of appreciation, kindness, and nurturing warmth toward one another. We look to Jesus’ love for His Bride as an example of the sacrificial love we need for our spouse.

 

Thoughts for the Day:

A fulfilling relationship starts with our choices, and our love increases in intimacy by the compassion and cherishing attitude we adopt toward one another. Satanic lies are always pecking away at our thoughts in an attempt to poison our mind against each other, but consulting the Holy Spirit about our mental and emotional outlook provides a long-lasting love that sees us through the rough patches of life. 

 

A Place of Plenty

 

God opens the windows of heaven for us and provides us with everything we need in its season as He also blesses the work of our hands. We feast on the abundance of His household, and He gives us drinks from the rivers of His delights (Psalm 36:8; Proverbs 3:10).

 

We give to those in need whom He brings our way (1 Timothy 5:8), but He reminds us not to borrow from or to lend money to anyone (Philippians 4:19; Deuteronomy 28:12; Proverbs 22:7; Romans 13:8). We give from the treasure that God plants in our heart and provides for our benefit (Luke 6:45).

 

We trust only in the Lord with our whole heart, rather than to rely on the human inclination, which we formerly used as our guide (Proverbs 3:5-6). Our God of Hope fills us with His joy and peace as we believe in Him; so that, by the power of His Spirit within us, we have an abundance of anticipation (Romans 15:13).

 

When we love the Lord with our whole heart (Matthew 22:37-40), and not just part of it, and when we keep His commandments (John 14:15-31), the Lord makes us prosper and He adds no sorrow with it (Proverbs 10:22). This prompts us to bless our God with praises that are not hidden but can be seen and heard by all.

 

He keeps our walk free from sin and tests us, so we can see what we are made of. At times, we get trapped by satanic snares, we carry a heavy burden, people triumph over us, and we go through floods and fire, but the Lord brings us out of these trials into a place of plenty (Psalm 66:8-12).

 

Prayer:

Father God, when we walk in Your ways, You abundantly give us provision like plentiful grain blowing in waves in the wind. You also bless those who live in the cities in the same way that You care for every blade of grass (Psalm 72:16). As we focus on You Lord, You give us the power to obtain everything we need (Deuteronomy 8:18; Ecclesiastes 5:19). If we are wise with our abundance, You give us more (Matthew 13:12). You decide while we still live on the earth what our financial and social status will be.

 

You allow us to die in Your timing and way, according to the boundaries You place around our life (Ecclesiastes 7:1). You send our body to the grave, but then You make our soul and spirit eternally alive in Your physical presence. You also give us a new incorruptible and immortal body. You consider the day of our death to be more special than the day of our birth because we arrive home to live with You for eternity (1 Samuel 2:6-7). 

 

Thought for the Day:

Jesus declared that He is the light of the world; and when we follow Him, we will never more be surrounded by darkness (John 8:12). His presence within us also allows us to function as the light of the world, like a city set high on a hill for all the earth to see. He reminds us not to allow His light within us to be hidden under a bushel basket (Matthew 5:14-16).