Less of Me, More of Him
When I called upon Jesus to save me in my 18th year of life, He moved in and spent the next several decades transforming who I am into who He is (Romans 8:29). I was born with a melancholy personality. With this temperament I inherited a very thoughtful, analytical, creative, respectful, non-aggressive persona who is very naively accepting, self-sacrificing to a fault, and very sensitive to the moods and needs of others. I am a very loyal friend in spite of any distance or time between visits. I try to make everything perfect and everyone happy.
On
the other hand, I also inherited the penchant to be very moody, irritable,
insecure, fearful, claustrophobic, easily depressed, pessimistic, critical and
suspicious. I struggle with bitterness, I hold grudges and I am often
intolerant. I need order and equilibrium in my life. I prefer making plans and
I do not like surprises. I can reluctantly do things on the spur of the moment,
only if it does not threaten my security in any way. I am fussy over details
and I like to have a place for everything and to have everything in its place.
In
addition to these inherited impediments, I grew up in a dysfunctional home. I
allowed others to walk all over me. My Father’s volatile rage and my mother’s
manipulation kept me quiet as a mouse and as fearful as a scaredy cat. In my
teenage years, after a horrific experience with my dad, I learned to protect
myself by hiding behind anger. I started to stick up for myself. When people
would not take me seriously, I used anger to make them pay attention to what I needed.
Of course, this did not work very well, because I ended up hurting people in
the process.
Now,
I have learned that Christ in me is my hope of glory (Colossians
1:27). The Holy Spirit sanctifies me more and
more over each moment throughout my lifetime. Each day I see less of who I am
and more of who He is within me. He uses my strengths for His glory and He
transformed my hatred into love, depression into true joy, discontentment into
peace, irritation into patience, criticism into gentleness, backbiting into
goodness, pride into meekness, excess into self-control, and fear into the
faith of the Son of God, as I am controlled and guided by His Spirit (Galatians 2:20, 5:16; Romans 8:14).
Over the years of my walk with
the Lord, the Holy Spirit continues to replace in me the negative attributes of
my personality with His spiritual fruit (Galatians
5:22-23). He
gave me love – affection for others; joy – exuberance about life; peace –
serenity; patience – willingness to stick with it; gentleness – compassion from
the heart; goodness – kindness that pervades our entire being; meekness –
humility and service; self-control – guided by the Spirit; and faith – trust
that God knows what He is doing.
I still struggle with the negative characteristics of a melancholy
personality, but they no longer control me. They are there, influencing how I
feel and what I do; but I can easily put them aside and walk in the Spirit at
any moment in order to accomplish God’s will for my life. Those who know me can
attest to the fact that I would no longer be considered a melancholic person.
This is because as I decrease, Christ increases within me (John 3:30).
He also healed me from a tendency to live as a codependent woman. I am
aware of my limitations, and I do not make decisions or allow others to force
me into doing things, which excessively demand what I am not comfortable with
giving. However, if God calls me out of my comfort zone, this is a very
different matter all together. I can do anything according to His will, because
He strengthens me to accomplish everything He calls me to do (Philippians 2:12-13; 4:13). I no longer live for myself or
for anyone else, but only for Christ who is living in and through me (Galatians 2:20).
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank You for releasing us from the bondage of our personality.
You make melancholy people happy, choleric people peaceful, phlegmatic people
industrious and sanguine people focused. By Your Spirit You transform our lives
into something beautiful. You lead us each step of every day and You fill us
with the power and the desire to do Your will in ever situation. We give You
the praise, honor and glory for all of the successes in our life.
Thought for the Day:
God’s Spirit transforms our lives from self-centered and self-seeking to
Christ-centered and God-seeking.
