"Blessed are those who
mourn, for they shall be comforted.” - Matthew 5:4
The death of a loved one is
the most devastating blow that life can ever inflicts upon us. Special days
such a birthday, anniversary and the holidays such as: Thanksgiving, Christmas,
Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day are emotional triggers. The pain and loss we
feel on these days is often more acute than during the original pain of loss,
because initially, we are usually numb from shock. Anger, bitterness,
resentment, abandonment and despair are just a few of the emotions accompanying
grief during these special days and holidays.
We may think there is
something wrong with us for feeling these emotions all over again. However,
they are normal, necessary and healing as we continue to process our grief.
Preparing in advance for these milestones will help us to traverse them more
successfully. At times like these, our soul – our mind, will and emotions –
gets downcast. We feel disturbed, forsaken and alone. We can put our hope in
God, and praise Him even in the midst of our pain, because He is our Savior and
God (Psalm 42:5-6).
There are a few concepts,
which will facilitate your healing. The first is to be honest with yourself and
others. Face your emotions and struggles, rather than avoid them. Spend time
alone with God. Read His Word and keep a notebook of Bible verses that speak to
your heart. Do not allow your loss to consume you and do not become preoccupied
with your grief. Facing the truth about our grief actually sets us free from it
(John 8:31-32, 36).
The second concept is to
express your feelings. Admit how you feel to others who are grieving or to a
confidant or counselor. Tears are healing and they cleanse our soul. Fully feeling
your grief allows you to heal more quickly. Tears release pent up emotions and
stress as well. Sometimes tears are internal, rather than external. This is
perfectly normal. It is also very healing to squarely face the pain of grief
and to allow yourself to mourn loudly and to weep bitterly (Acts
8:2).
The third concept is to
socialize. You cannot face your grief alone. Ask God to show you or to bring to
you a person with whom you can share your most intimate feelings about your
loss. Finding someone who also experienced loss will bring you the most
comfort. Call or write this person and arrange for times to get together to
talk. Grief Share and similar support groups are also available for
people to vent, chat and find support from others with whom you can relate (Ecclesiastes
4:9-10). Planning a celebration with
family and friends in honor of our loved one gives us the opportunity to create
new memories and also puts a positive slant on our loss. We can look forward to
being able to comfort others who are also experiencing affliction with the
comfort, which we receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, I am depending
upon You to see me through this time of loss. I will praise You, because I am
assured that You have a future and a hope for me that is for my good (Jeremiah
29:11). We are beaten down on every side, but not crushed;
perplexed, but not in despair; deprived, but not abandoned; struck
down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:8-9). Thank You for setting us free from the grief of our loss and bringing a
semblance of order back into our life. Help us to freely express our emotions
and loss with a trusted friend or counselor. Direct us to people who are also
grieving and allow us to be a friend and confidant to them during their time of
grief and loss.
Thought for the Day:
“My
flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion
forever.” - Psalm 73:26
Read these wonderful
articles about grief during the holidays:
http://www.griefshare.org/holidays#articles
