Sometimes, forgiveness is easy; at other times, it is almost impossible. The key is to remember that unforgiveness keeps YOU as its hostage and does not hurt the offender whatsoever. Forgiveness does not exonerate the offender from the offense. It does not free him/her from blame or guilt. Our refusal to forgive does not hurt the offender at all. Unforgiveness keeps us prisoner to their offenses, because God cannot forgive us unless we forgive others (Matthew 6:15). Forgiveness does not depend upon our feelings! It is a choice, an act of obedience to Christ’s command.
Forgiveness does not release the offender from the debt they owe us, we
just let God collect it for us (Deuteronomy 32:35; Romans 12:19; 1 Samuel 26:10;
Proverbs 20:22; Jeremiah 51:36; 1 Thessalonians 4:6; Hebrews 10:30). Once we forgive the
offender, the fruit of the root of bitterness - anger, anxiety, depression,
irritability, meanness, pride, self-indulgence, and doubt - are pulled out of
our soul. Now, the Holy Spirit can move in and plant His fruit in their place (Colossians
3:12-17). Love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness,
meekness, self-control and faith replace these negative emotions, attitudes and
feelings in our soul (Galatians 5:22-23).
The person who offended you
is actually reacting from his/her inner pain, from wounds perpetrated on them
in the past. Something you said or did triggered that pain, which was already
in them, and they reacted as they did. This is not your fault. You can pray
that God will heal their inner pain. Then show them kindness and tolerance in
response to their attacks on you. This attitude may take some time to develop
in your soul. Go ahead and take that time. Just do not return evil for evil,
but bless those who hurt you so that God can bless you in return.
Even after you forgive, the
pain of the experience may remain with you for a very long time. The pain is no
indication that you did not forgive. Forgiveness erases the intensity of the
pain over time, but the memory of their offense is never really forgotten.
Forgiveness is not making excuses for the person or their behavior. It is not
sugar coating their actions or minimizing the effect of their actions in our
life. We can feel our pain and we can protect ourselves from future pain from
that person be erecting time and distance boundaries between them and us.
If we have unforgiveness
toward our self, then it is very difficult to forgive someone else. You are a person too, and Jesus died so you can be forgiven just like
everyone else. So, forgive your self! The
only requirement God gives us concerning forgiveness is that each time you
remember the pain, you follow Jesus’ example and pray: “Father, forgive them,
for they do not know what they are doing.” You can use this same principle when
forgiving your self.
When God forgives, He
removes our transgressions and remembers them no more (Hebrews
8:12). He casts them as far away as the
east is from the west (Psalm 103:12).
Once we confess our sins, God faithfully and justly forgives us and purifies us
from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
He never counts them against us again (Romans 4:8). God asks us to bear with one another in this same
way. To forgive grievances against one another and against our self, just as
the Lord completely forgives us (Colossians 3:13).
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, we are blessed
when You forgive our transgressions and cover our sins with Your blood. You
will never again count our sins against us. You paid the penalty of our sin on
the cross (Romans 4:7-8). If we
fail to forgive sin, or to ask for forgiveness of our own sin, then we stand
the chance of being overwhelmed with excessive sorrow or of making someone else
feel this way too (2 Corinthians 2:7). Help us to remember that You
forgave Your persecutors and help us to forgive ours in this same way.
Thought
for the Day:
"Blessed are they whose
transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.” -Romans 4:7
