There are many opportunities
in life to cling to bitterness to try to assuage the pain of some betrayal,
unkind word, abuse or rejection. It feels so good to grip this anger, revenge
and unforgiveness and to send evil thoughts toward the person who mistreated or
exploited us. We like to tell anyone who will listen about the incident and
paint the picture of our nemesis in dark, evil colors.
The problem with availing
our self of this luxury is that bitterness, and all negative emotions, are a
root, which when planted in the soil of our soul – our mind, will and emotions –
start to grow like a weed. They displace any good fruit of the Spirit, which
already grow there (Hebrews 12:15).
Bitterness causes us to miss out on the grace of God. It robs us of our
vitality in our spirit, soul and body (Job 10:1). It tarnishes our reputation and spreads a bad
attitude to others as well (Hebrews 12:15).
We suffer the most when we do not forgive our offender.
Most of us experience wounds
at some time in our life. Our parents, coaches, school chums, teachers,
friends, neighbors, mate, church leaders, doctors, grocery clerks, employer, or
any other member of our community that we love, trust, respect and want to gain
their approval may have ridiculed, embarrassed, undermined, criticized or
discounted us in some way or another. We feel hurt, which triggers anger to
protect our self. If we cannot express that anger outwardly, we nurse it
inwardly and it turns to depression, resentment, bitterness, complaining and
irritability (Job 7:11).
Avoiding the offender for a while may help us to heal quicker. If we happen upon the offender, we may feel the pain all over again, but we can choose to forgive again. If the offender passed away or moved out of our life, reconciliation may be impossible; however, our willingness to resolve the issue sets us free from the bondage of unforgiveness. We can always expect people to act humanly. If they do a human thing and offend us, we can forgive them simply because we are human also.
Forgiveness is the only way
to heal these negative emotions, attitudes and behaviors consuming our life. We
have a choice to allow the seeds of bitterness to take root in our soul, or to
avail our self to the grace of God and allow Him to love that offensive
individual through us. This strengthens Christ’s power in us. We relinquish our
role as victim and free our self from the power the offender had over our life.
We do this by first putting our self in the offender’s shoes. Why did he/she
act this way? Would we do the same thing in a similar situation?
We probably will not forget
the incident, we may have to forgive that person often, but it leads to a
better understanding of human nature, empathy for their shortcomings and
compassion for others who suffer injury. Forgiveness restores our unity with
God, helps us to foster healthy relationships, puts us in a better frame of
mind, heals our body and lowers our risk for addictions. Forgiveness enhances
our physical, mental, emotional, behavioral and spiritual welfare.
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, remind us that
forgiveness is obedience to You and does not depend on our feelings or on the
one who offended us. They may never change or even repent of their behavior,
but forgiving them will change our life. Forgiveness takes that person off the
throne of our life and away from the center of our focus and replaces You in
that lofty position where You belong. You keep all of our tears in Your bottle
and you record the cause of them in Your journal (Psalm 56:8). Your love for us overcomes every slight or
devastation we can ever experience in life.
Thought for the Day:
Showing mercy means that we
release our self from the bondage of unforgiveness. - Ephesians 4:31