Rejected, but Never Alone

 

Jesus knows how it feels to face rejection from those to whom He poured out His life. He identifies with us when we dedicate our entire life to our family, church family and friends; yet, they walk away from us.

These people do not always respond positively to our presence in their life. Even our closest family members may attempt to wound us with their words and actions to cause us to reject them.

That way they can perceive themselves as the martyr in the relationship.  If, however, we do not reject them, they eventually reject us and accuse us of abusing them.

They want a reason to reject us, so they claim that we are toxic in their life. They discard us and walk away from us. They may think of us from time to time. These memories may even be positive and draw their hearts toward us; but they resist the urge to mend broken fences.

Showering them with God's unconditional Agape love at each door that God opens for us will ensure that they know deep down inside that we are always here for them, regardless of how they treat us.

We may move on with our life and walk through other doors that God provides for us, but we are always sensitive to their needs and respond in love rather than rejection when they happen to reach out to us.

This may restore our relationship with them and increase our ability to live Christ's life in their presence, giving them yet further opportunities to surrender their life to our Savior and King.

However, they may never approach us again - viewing us as dead to them or estranged. During their life, they cut us out of the momentous times in which we could share.

They want nothing to do with us and our special moments. We are rejected, but God never leaves us alone (Hebrews 13:5). He provides His Saints as our family and focus; and His presence in us sustains us throughout our lifetime.

Prayer:

Father God, our relationship with You is our focus in this life and for all eternity. People, places and times here on earth are a vapor on a cold day. Here for a moment and then vanished. Even a mate, parent or child may reject us; but You never leave us alone (Hebrews 13:5). You are the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:7).

Christ is our very life (Colossians 3:4). We need no one and nothing apart from You. You give us all things to enjoy in Your timing and way. If we do not have it, we do not need it, or You would supply it for us. We trust in Your wisdom and goodness.

Thought for the Day:

God holds the key to our relationships, and He decides whom to allow into our life for His reasons and purpose; we can know for certain that He does everything for our ultimate good. - Romans 8:28

Keeping Our Soul Safe

A property line around our yard, a fence around our house, a door on a room, etc. are all physical boundaries. They often keep us safe and settle disputes, as well as protect us from intruders and from losing our self in the midst of their problems.

Emotional boundaries are very important for the well-being of our soul - our thoughts, choices and feelings (Proverbs 4:23). We put distance between us and people who wound us, or we sever ties all together to protect our self from further abuse.

Every human needs to feel protected and unconditionally loved. As we grow in our self-awareness, we begin to realize our need for boundaries. We conserve energy, which we used to consume resisting perpetrators, and have more ability and resources to give to those who truly need what God gives to us.

We use the compassion and empathy we learned from our abuse to minister to those God sends our way. The thorns in our flesh no long consume our time or energy, because of boundaries. We focus on God's will for each moment of our life.

We have grace with our own personal insecurities, blind spots and fears and allow our self to receive God's unconditional love for us. We set limits on our care-giving of others in order to have enough personal resources to care for our own soul.

Saying "No" and speaking the truth in love prevents us from enabling and getting enmeshed by rescuing others who get into trouble due to their disobedience to God, their irresponsible behavior and their own lack of boundaries.

This prevents us from emotional and physical depletion and burning out, and helps us to be more effectual and appropriate in helping others with legitimate needs. We only rescue those for whom God provides us with a lifeline.

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that You already rescued every person in the world through Your Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ. We have no responsibility to rescue people, because they need to turn to Christ in their hour of need, not to us. Help us not to enable selfish and irresponsible people, but only to help as Your Spirit leads us. Enable us to resist taking the weight of the problems of the world on our shoulders and to leave it on Yours, where it belongs.

Cleanse our heart from anger, resentment, an overload of stress and burnout which we acquire from our lack of boundaries and our penchant for attempting to help where You are not calling us to give aid. Do not allow us to be manipulated by the negative emotions others use to control us. Allow us instead to abound in Your grace and to pray for the needs in the lives of others as they learn to trust You as their Savior instead of us.

Thought for the Day:

Jesus made His need for physical rest and the restoration of His soul as a priority in His life by following the leading of God's Spirit with His life. - Luke 5:16

The Healing Journey - Our Priceless Inheritance

I was born into an Italian family, the oldest child of my parents and the first grandchild in the family. To say that I was loved, expected, wanted and spoiled is an understatement.

Then, three years later on the exact date of my birth, my baby brother was born. Of course, all the attention and acclaim went to the new baby and the first boy of our family.

I remember standing outside of the nursery door and wondering why my parents were giving this screaming bag of bones all of my attention. I was told to go outside to play; and from that day forward, outside became my happy place.

Yet, I experienced all of the deprivation, abandonment, rejection and loneliness that accompanies having a new baby in the family. 

My defense was to be a good little girl and mommy's helper with my baby brothers, as two more boys came into our family. I received less and less personal attention with each new birth. 

As the only girl and oldest child, I was given household chores. We fell into this routine until, during my adolescence, I started to assert my independence, which my parents termed as "stubbornness".

This earned me the increasing wrath of my bipolar father, who resorted to violent physical punishment. He even used brutal force and sexual abuse on one occasion in an attempt to force me into submission.

My resentment grew and I turned more inward, often hanging out in our tree house with a good book. I preferred to be alone than to put myself in situations that brought me further hurt.

My mom attempted to compensate for my dad's wrath by leading my Girl Scout troop while I was in junior and senior high school. She helped me to apply to national and international events, which allowed me to travel.

I appreciated her constancy in doing all the right things for me; but since her mother died when she was three, and she grew up with a stepmom who worked long hours every day, she never personally experienced nurturing and never learned to cherish us emotionally.

My mom was required to do household chores, serve her alcoholic father and four older brothers and to care for her two younger brothers. Her emotions were locked up tightly within her soul, just as mine were, and she found her fulfillment through service in her community.

I married when I turned 20 and parented my own three children with this same aloof attitude of my mom and easily angered response that I learned from my dad. I did not know what it felt like to experience or to give nurturing.

Over the ensuing years, the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit gradually healed my wounds and painstakingly replaced my negative learned behavior and personality characteristics with His fruit (Galatians 5:22-23).

I also borrowed books from local libraries and learned how to nurture the wounded "child" within me; as well as my own children, my mom and the wounded members of the churches in which I served as a Pastor's wife.

The husband of my youth, wounded from his childhood, remained as aloof as my mom and as exacting as my father. Only our Father God cherished me as His little girl and gave me comfort and safety under the shadow of His wings (Matthew 6:6-9).

God's Spirit revealed to me the devil's lies which kept me in bondage to the wounds of my past ( www.theophostic.com ). He helped me to forgive my parents and husband, and to let go of Satan's deceptions and the resulting wounds.

I learned that my inheritance with Christ of God's Kingdom is priceless and that there is forgiveness for my own sins and healing for the results of the sins others perpetrated in my life. God is our good, good Father and we are loved by Him as the apple of His eye (Psalm 17:8).

Prayer:

Father God, we could never thank You enough for adopting us into Your family, forgiving all of our sins, transforming our short-comings and healing our past. You care for us all the days of our life and even look forward to us joining You in eternity (Psalm 116:15). We anticipate that day when we gather around Your throne with all of Your Saints in order to praise Your goodness and mercy for eternity.

As we spend time in solitary prayer now, just as Jesus did, You energize our body, soul and spirit with Your continual presence within us. We find spontaneous tears of gratitude flowing down our cheeks as we dwell through each moment of our day in communion with You and by walking in Your Spirit.

Thought for the Day:

When we catch a glimpse of our priceless inheritance with Christ of all that is the Kingdom of God, we are filled with the wonder and humility that we feel at the magnitude of His presence in us and His provision for us both now and throughout eternity.