Dwelling Together with Understanding

 

As a Pastor's wife, I have witnessed certain men who accuse their wife of over-reacting; when it is often the husband's behavior and attitude, coupled with selective-hearing, which builds up the frustration in his wife's heart.

If she is not taken seriously when she expresses her feelings and needs, these slights smolder in her soul, catch fire and flame out of control.

Then her husband is shocked, feels like a victim and declares that he has to live on egg shells around his wife, not being able to relax in his own home. He resents his wife's emotional outbursts.

A man will even lie to prevent a confrontation, which of course, only makes his wife's wounds deeper, her security shattered, and her reaction more violent.

A woman can bear mistreatment for just so long before she has to release steam; and if she does not feel respected and understood, then the pressure cooker of her soul will build up until she blows her lid.

Her husband will proclaim that they have a "bad" marriage, due to the emotional "abuse" he suffers from his wife. However, if he considers his life without her in it, he will know without a doubt that she is worth cherishing (Hebrews 10:24).

Rather than blaming his wife, he can solve the issues by cherishing her, including her in making decisions and dwelling with her with understanding. Taking her needs seriously will help her to feel safe and secure (1 Peter 3:7).

A couple with a happy marriage listens to one another, and one spouse never insist on his/her own way; but they talk out issues and decisions until both of them feel peace about what to do.

Prayer:

Father God, men and women are so different in their needs; yet, we tend to love one another as we want to be loved. This ends up leaving our mate unfulfilled and unsatisfied with our relationship ( http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile ).

Remind us to make one another our priority in life, second only to our relationship with You (Romans 12:10, 15:7). You have a perfect order for marriage, and You call us to serve one another.

Thought for the Day:

A happy marriage is made up of a husband who prefers his wife and her needs, and a wife who lovingly submits to her husband, who lays down his life for her, just like Christ.

- Ephesians 5:22-25

True Friendship

As King-elect of Israel, David served King Saul by playing his harp and singing in order to calm Saul’s troubled soul. Saul relied on David, but was also jealous of God’s anointing on the young man’s life. He had a need for David, but also a hatred that burned so deeply that he often tried to take David’s life (1 Samuel 20:1-17).

One day, Saul’s son Jonathan looked at David and realized that in him he had a brother for life. They were soulmates, so they made a covenant between them. Jonathan gave David all that he possessed and did whatever David needed in order to protect his beloved friend from his father’s cruelty, even to the point of giving up his own life (1 Samuel 18:1-4).

There are few people in the world today with that type of commitment and love for one another (Psalms 41:9). Jesus Christ made just such a vow to every human being ever born. He gave His own life as a ransom to pay the sin debt that we owe. He died in our place, so that we would never have to taste death. Our last breath on this earth leads to our very next breath in Heaven, and we owe it all to Jesus Christ. Jesus is a friend that sticks closer to us than a brother (John 15:13-15). He will never leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

At times people find it almost impossible to bond with other human beings. They are so shy or have such limited people skills that they make others uncomfortable around them. Angry people make poor friends and the Bible encourages us to stay away from them (Proverbs 22:24). Jeremiah warns us against hanging out with a brother or neighbor who is a deceiver or slanderer (Jeremiah 9:4).

Paul tells us to stay away from people who love their self, pleasure and money. He warns us against making friends with the proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and heartless, unappeasable, brutal, treacherous, reckless and conceited. He is especially uncomplimentary toward people who act religiously, but who reject the power that could make them godly. He also singles out idlers, gossips and busybodies as poor potential friends (2 Timothy 3:1-5; 1 Timothy 5:13-14).

The secret to having friends is to be friendly (Proverbs 18:24). We learn how to be a good friend from the wisdom of God’s Word. We love one another at all times and stand with each other through trials and tribulation (Proverbs 17:17; Proverbs 27:6,10). We have concern for one another, we avoid arguing and division, and we share in one another’s pain as well as rejoicing when someone is honored (1 Corinthians 12:25-26).
 
Sometimes a friend speaks the truth to us in love (Ephesians 4:15, 25). This often hurts our feelings and makes us angry. Sparks may fly between us like iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17). However, true Christians will always submit to one another and settle our differences with grace and humility (1 Peter 5:5).
 
The fact is that two people facing life together is better than one, because they reap a double reward for their labor. If one falls, the other is there to lift him/her up. We provide warmth for one another in both body and soul. A three-fold cord is not quickly broken; and when Christ is in the center of a friendship, no one will be able to stand against us (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
 

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, at times, our friends are too busy or burdened by cares in their own life to help us out. However, You are a friend that sticks closer than a brother (John 15:13-15). You told us that if we ask, You will answer; if we seek, You will show us the way; if we knock You will open the door to us (Luke 11:5-10). Teach us to be this type of friend to one another, and to lift one another up; so that those in the world will see our love for one another and be drawn to our fellowship with You (John 13:35).

Thought for the Day:

True friendship revives the life within our soul.