We give to each other and we share the love of God with one another, hoping that others will help us to meet our needs too. Many of us think that if we meet the needs for other people, then they or someone else will reciprocate and meet our needs for us. This usually backfires on us. Givers keep on giving, and takers keep on taking.
I used to grieve, because I was under this same delusion. As a codependent, I felt that if I gave, I would receive. This did not happen, however, and I was disappointed most of the time. I yearned for someone to care about me as much as I cared for others.
I soon learned that it is not someone else’s “job” to meet my needs. It is our responsibility and privilege to meet our own needs or to kindly ask for help in areas where we cannot meet them. In some cases, we can use the Serenity prayer, and turn our needs over to God to meet them for us. As our Loving Father, He is always ready to do so.
We live in our own skin, so who knows what we need better than our self? We know all of our failings, insecurities and fears, so we can accept our self just the way we are. This helps us to minister to our self and to meet our needs without criticism and judgment.
We view our self with the same care and love that we care for others. We stop the negative self-talk that runs through our mind most days, which comes from years of criticism from others, and we believe what God believes about us instead. We receive His nurture and love through the blood of the Lamb of God who abides within us.
I also learned through this experience that codependence is a trap that Satan uses to keep us exhausted in serving others and bitter that others do not reciprocate and minister to us. God taught me that He always faithfully shines His light and love into our darkest moments, redirects our thinking and the feelings in our heart, and draws us deeper into our union with Him.
Prayer:
Father God, You are our Savior and our Redeemer (Job 19:25; Isaiah 60:16), and You live in our heart, surround us with Your presence, and invite us to enter into Your rest and to trust You to meet our needs. You make Your grace available to anyone willing to humble our self and to call out to You for Your salvation through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on Calvary’s cross (John 3:16-18).
Help those who do not know Jesus as their personal Savior to come to the end of their trust in their own human resources to change their life, to be still and to acknowledge that You are God (Psalm 46:10), and to trust their concerns and needs to Your capable care. You are our Father of lights and You always give good gifts to Your children (Matthew 7:11-12).
Thought for the Day:
God willingly exchanges His beauty for the ashes of our life, redeems our spirit and soul and body, and uses our brokenness for His glory both now and in the future; we start this process by listening to His Spirit’s conviction about the sins in our life that block His blessings from our life, so that He can separate us from a bondage to sin, restore us with His grace, and remember our sins no more.
- Isaiah 61:1-3; Psalm 103:12-14, Hebrews 8:12, 10:17
