I went through the empty nest six times (once was due to our youngest son who left home twice!). It is not a fun stage in life. Too many people – mostly mothers, but also dads - put too much emphasis on their parental role and forget that they are a couple too.
Experts say this can be the best time in our marriage if we change our focus from serving as parents to enjoying each other as a couple. Communication is the key. Rather than running like crazy people to meet our and our children’s schedules, we have more personal and couple time to enjoy.
Taking advantage of this free space in our calendar to write-in time together will facilitate this process. We can sit together on the couch, loveseat, porch swing, etc. and share openly, willingly, and excitedly about our day. Each mate can take turns asking the other, “What blessed you today?” or “What stress did you have today?”
We can even ask the hard questions like: “Did I do anything to offend you or hurt Your feelings today?” or “Is there anything I can do to improve our relationship?” The key here is not to give critical, sarcastic, or bombastic answers, but to share all things in a loving manner.
Giving our partner time to regroup his/her thoughts and decided the answer to the question is important, and it may take patience to wait for the answer. However, this intimate time of sharing is worth the effort. Then, the spouse who shared can reciprocate and ask our mate the same question.
Some people have a habit of not really listening to what another person is sharing. The important ingredient in a conversation is that one person does not monopolize the exchange, and that both of us actively listen to the response our loved one is sharing and show compassion or rejoice with one another.
Prayer:
Father God, we often have this same habit when we converse with You. We dump on You our load of cares and then run off to get absorbed by the busyness of our day. We barely give You a thought during much of the day, unless something does not go our way and we are quick to complain to You.
The real depth of our time with You does not even occur until we are still and acknowledge that You are God, and Your control of everything in our life is to our benefit. We thank you for our mate and ask You to teach us meld together as one flesh in order to serve You together with our whole heart focused on You.
Thought for the Day:
Sometimes during our times of sharing as a couple, we either sit there spacing out with our mind a million miles away, or we are thinking of the next thing we want to say, or we interrupt our spouse before they even finish their thought in order to interject our opinion without even hearing the whole comment our mate is attempting to make; this will discourage future times of sharing due to the frustration it causes.
