When our spouse wrongs us, we find it hard to forgive them – especially if they do the same thing over and over again. We want vengeance, and for him/her to “pay” for their slight or hurtful behavior. We forget that Jesus loved us enough to die in our place, even while we were still sinners (Romans 5:6-11).
We need to come to a place where we place our spouse’s behavior under the blood of Jesus and to quickly forgive them. Too often we make snap assumptions that we think are absolutely true, but once we know all the facts of the situation, we realize that we were wrong to make these suppositions.
Forgiveness does not release our spouse from the debt they owe us for their rude or neglectful behavior; but it does release us from the bondage brought to us from unforgiveness, and it allows God to forgive us when we make a mistake or act in a sinful or unbecoming manner (Matthew 6:14-15).
Our spouse often acts or speaks out of their woundedness, and we can show compassion on them. Jesus suffered unjustly to pay our sin debt, and we, His servants, are not greater than our Lord. He even asked God to forgive His persecutors because they had no concept of what they were actually doing (Luke 23:34).
Sometimes, we build walls around our heart to prevent future pain from hurts, broken promises, and disappointments. Yet, these same walls keep out the flow of love between us and our mate as well. If we are willing, God will give us the courage and then desire to reconcile with our mate. This reopens the flow of love between us.
Prayer:
Father God, thank You for committing Your watch-care over our marriage, and for helping us to act lovingly and patiently toward one another. We are both human, and neither of us is perfect, so holding a higher standard for our mate than we do for our self is futile. Remind us to see that we cannot change another person. We can make requests for a change, but our spouse may not be able to make such changes even if they want to do so.
Remind us that continual forgiveness, lowering expectations, and allowing each other the freedom to relax in our company and to be our self at home will offer both of us a safe haven in our relationship. This also rids our home of bitterness, resentment, and continual and mounting hurt feelings. Help us to see that we can meet our own needs without having unrealistic expectations of one another. Help us to see that daily reconciliation is a healthy practice for couples.
Thoughts for the Day:
Forgiving our spouse for physical, mental and/or emotional abuse is possible, even if a time of separation is called for in order to ensure our safety. Getting counseling together for these issues will make both of us better and more compassionate spouses, as well as individuals, by helping us to understand the reasons behind this abuse and helping our spouse to be healed from the behavior that causes them to treat us in such a fashion. Although, at times, a person will have ulterior and selfish reasons for marrying us and will take advantage of us regardless of how we feel.
