Healing Relationshiips - Part 1

There are four types of human relationships. We all fit into one of them, or a combination of several:

Independent - self-sufficient

Codependent - live for others

Dependent - despise living alone, have no personal
                   identity 

Interdependent - mutual, reciprocal relationship 

These relational types describe how we relate to other people. If we are already functioning in interdependent relationships, we are healthy and have healthy interactions.

Otherwise, we are in needy, dysfunctional relationships, which are unhealthy for us and the other people in our life. Changing our beliefs about life and our self, and altering our attitude will bring needed healing to our soul.

In dysfunctional associations, we expect the magic of a fairytale existence; we pride our self in living as the martyr or savior; we give sacrificially and then feel anger and bitterness when we do not receive the love we believe we are owed in return.

In unhealthy relationships, our self-worth is based outside of our self, in people, places and things. We desire financial security, privacy, status in society, respect, degrees or popularity. We resent any change or adjustment required of us.

However, everything in life is fluid, temporary and undependable. We even disappoint our self. We cannot look to external values and relationships for our security.

When we concentrate on maintaining the status quo, we fail miserably every time we try. That is why the Serenity Prayer has grown in popularity.

Following its advice will ensure that we keep our focus on eternal matters, rather than on temporal issues, which cannot help but to disappoint us. We will also walk in God’s will each moment of every day.

Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

“Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.  
-by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr

Thought for the Day:

Attempting to control our environment and relationships will guarantee that we suffer from stress-related issues, as well as to alienate those who mean the most to us. 

Clay Jars

Read: 2 Corinthians 5:18-21

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." - 2 Corinthians 4:7

When Paul wrote this verse about jars of clay, he referred to the common jars of his day. They were everyday vessels, usually chipped, sometimes cracked or possibly broken around the rim. Many were even flawed from the beginning due to an error in their construction. Paul refers to Christians as common clay jars, but then he reminds us that we are filled with a priceless treasure, which is the all-surpassing power of God.

The significance of Paul referring to us as jars of clay is that it illustrates the fact that we are ordinary and defective and have no power or strength of our own (2 Corinthians 4:8). In spite of our shortcomings, however, God chooses us as His vessels of honor anyway. He fills us with His power to accomplish the ministry He calls us to perform. This power also enables us to influence a change in other people, as we share His gospel with the lost and dying world around us.

When we surrender to God, He makes all things new. We are not perfect, but we are forgiven (2 Corinthians 5:17). Paul’s life is a good example. He was less than perfect. He started out opposing the Kingdom of God. He even had an infirmity, which He begged God to remove. He had the faith for a healing, but God chose to use Paul’s life as an example of His grace. Through God’s refusal to cure him, Paul learned the lesson that God’s power is made strong in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9). God uses our weaknesses more than our strengths, because when we are weak in our own abilities, then we are strong in Him and His abilities (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

When we are frail, we are more likely to depend upon God rather than our own gifts and talents. This forces us to center our focus on God instead of our capabilities. This also takes our focus off the flaws in the people around us. When we see our own glaring imperfections, we have more patience with the defects in others. We have more grace with their shortcomings, because God has grace with ours. Then we are more apt to allow the fruit of God’s Spirit to flow through us to the world around us.

Prayer:

Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us today the food we need; and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. - Matthew 6:9-13 (NLT)

Thought for the Day:

Through a lifetime of loss and tragedy, our search for peace with God only comes by faith in our reconciliation with God through Jesus on the cross.

 

Be Still and Know

Read: Psalm 55:16-17, 22

“Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Ps 131:2 (NKJV)

The soul is the most overlooked of all human entities. Our mind, will and emotions play an enormous part in our life, but we often negate the soul to the realm of the “flesh” and crucify it. I am not talking about carnal thoughts and feelings, but about the God given emotions and mental needs, which we get too busy during our day to satisfy. We end up stuffing our body, soul and spirit with junk food rather than with truly fulfilling nutrition.

Confusion and haste fill our day and rule our behavior. We rush through life without giving a thought to the flower peeking up through the sidewalk, to familiar shapes in the clouds, to the butterfly flitting across the landscape or to the look of worry or depression on our co-worker’s face. We constantly bombard our nervous system with chaotic trivia and ignore the important things in our life. We chat or text on the cell phone more than we talk to God.

To change this mad rush through life, we simply need to make a slight adjustment in our mindset. Rather than focusing on completing our list of things to do, we can listen to and follow the Spirit of God as He leads us through every moment of the day.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, help me to be still and to acknowledge that You are God.

Thought for the Day:

“The work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever.” – Isaiah 32:17