Emotional Tanks

 

When my children were in high school, I created a poster with an emotional tank for each member of our family. The object was for each of us to signify how full our emotional tank was each day.

This way we could all deposit into one another's tank, especially into those who were running low. Well, my idea bombed with my family, but I am hoping you might like this idea.

To add to someone's emotional tank, we need to know them well, learn what is important to them, and then converse with them and provide for them according to their love language.

(www.5lovelanguages.com )

Pay attention to the words they use and listen between the lines. Never belittle their ideas, hope or dreams. Deposit daily encouragement into their emotional tank and inspire them to follow God's plan for their day.

Deposit your time, energy, understanding and godly wisdom into their emotional tank. Be there for one another and be patient and kind to one another.

Build a foundation of trust in your family. Love depends upon trust; and when trust is broken, it is hard to feel love. Keep promises, tell the truth, and be a person of integrity.

Admit when you are wrong, and deposit into their emotional tanks with sincere apologies and changed behavior. Love unconditionally so they will feel secure, safe and affirmed.

You may not agree with their behavior or choices, and you can discipline when necessary, but separate the person from their behavior and validate them as your special treasure.

Deposit second chances, change your focus, and utilize forgiveness in every breach of confidence. You do not need to be victimized, however; and you can establish boundaries, which are safe for everyone.

Interdependence is a well-adjusted relationship centered on God who dwells in the midst of us. Following the guidance of God's Spirit moment by moment throughout the day will help us to deposit rather than to withdraw from one another's emotional tank.

Prayer:

Father God, teach us to cooperate so that no one person makes all the sacrifices. Help us to accept one another for who we are and to request changes only when necessary for the peace of the household.

Remind us to enjoy one another's company, to cherish our relationship, not to take anyone for granted and to value the priceless connection You have given to us all.

Thought for the Day:

Pray together, have family devotions, serve the community together, play together; but also give one another space to have time to pursue their own interests as you make daily deposits into one another's emotional tank.

How to Prevent a Divorce

When people, joined by God in marriage, choose to divorce, there is understandably an immense amount of pain and brokenness, which affects both lives. Even the person who initiated the divorce will suffer trauma. Financial, physical and employment setbacks occur in both lives. The emotions in both parties are traumatized.

This may make no common sense; but in matters of the soul, it makes perfect sense. Our soul is divided into our mind, will and emotions, and all three are negatively affected by a divorce. We also have three ego states in our mind, called the Inner Parent, Inner Adult and Inner Child. The Inner Child of the person initiating the divorce will also experience shock and distress.

Even if the person really wants the divorce for various reasons, their Inner Child will still feel victimized. Their childlike nature, which needs nurturing, feels abandoned by the partner they are divorcing. They will often suffer feelings of rejection and abandonment right along with the person, which they no longer want to live with.

There are many unresolved issues in a relationship, which cause the marriage to dissolves into divorce. Years of underlying problems, formerly swept under the rug, are hanging in the air between the two parties. They blame each other, and some spouses are not willing to take any responsibility for the breakdown in the marriage.

We all have failings and idiosyncrasies, which may cause our partner to get weary and to wander. If we address these concerns instead of just giving up, we can find alternative methods of action. An equitable solution that is agreeable to both people will always improve the relationship. In humility, both partners can resolve the problems and allow God’s love to heal their wounds.

Truthfully, prior to any divorce, both partners need to forgive and to ask for forgiveness for the slights and issues they caused in the marriage. Mutual forgiveness will heal many injures, and may even prevent this drastic, unnecessary divorce. Then, there will be no more desire to separate, and the couple will joyfully end up growing old together.

Prayer:

Father God, our true fulfillment is found through service to You in our church and community, as well as in our marriage. We can serve our mate regardless of how we feel about them. In fact, we are serving You by serving them. This way we put our marriage in Your hands, relying on You to change us and our partner. You hate divorce and are not pleased with anyone who obtains a divorce without Biblical grounds for it (Matthew 19:9). Help us to bear one another's burdens and to fulfill Your plans for our life (Galatians 6:2).

Thought for the Day:

Divorce divides us from the one, which we thought would share our hopes and dreams and grow old with us, and it forces us into the death of a relationship once birthed in love. 

The Tyranny of Fear

 

From my childhood forward, I have lived a life of fear. Over the years, God taught me that He is with us through whatever we are afraid of...high in an airplane and deep in the darkest woods, in the elevator and on the escalator, at the dentist or the surgery room, in the classroom and the jail room, in a fear-filled marriage or place of employment, etc. He is with us, just as He was with His faithful young Hebrew men in the fiery furnace (Daniel 3:24-25).

Good fear is instinctive fear, which God gave us to protect us from danger, and to keep us from suffering needlessly. This gives us a healthy fear of the negative elements of life, so we will walk cautiously through them. However, other fears are born in us through terrifying people and experiences. Satan lies to us in these negative situations, intending to cripple us for life. This fear often keeps us from stepping out in faith to live the life God intends for us.

Many fears are unreasonable and groundless. They victimize and debilitate us. Nightmares will often offer us a clue about the negative stress going on in our subconscious mind; and once we recognize and settle these issues, they will no longer bother us. When fear torments us, God’s perfect love swoops in and covers us with His feathers (1 John 4:18; Psalm 91:4). We fear no evil when our Great Shepherd keeps watch over us (Psalm 23:1-4). By proving His love and faithfulness to us, God supersizes our faith.

Over the years, God taught me to stop trying to control my life and to enter into His rest instead (Hebrews 4:10). His faithfulness and direction over every moment of my life help me to relinquish my fears. Living life one moment at a time helps me to prevent the fears from the past and the fear of the future from affecting my current moment. As the current moments of my life string together, God proves to me that He is with me, working out even the bad times for my good (Romans 8:28).

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that the perfect way to cast out fear is to praise You. You inhabit our praises, so we enter into Your presence with praise (Psalm 100:4). You deliver us from fear through praise (Psalm 22:3). You are always faithful and always living in us, walking with us through every trial and temptation we encounter. You always provide us with hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). No matter how frightening a storm appears, You will strengthen us and guard us from evil (2 Thessalonians 3:3), and for this we praise Your name forever.

Thought for the Day:

During the storms of life, God gives us the faith to go ahead and sing in the rain.