When people, joined by God in marriage, choose to divorce,
there is understandably an immense amount of pain and brokenness, which affects
both lives. Even the person who initiated the divorce will suffer trauma.
Financial, physical and employment setbacks occur in both lives. The
emotions in both parties are traumatized.
This may make no common sense; but in matters of the soul,
it makes perfect sense. Our soul is divided into our mind, will and emotions,
and all three are negatively affected by a divorce. We also have three ego
states in our mind, called the Inner Parent, Inner Adult and Inner Child. The
Inner Child of the person initiating the divorce will also experience shock and
distress.
Even if the person really wants the divorce for various
reasons, their Inner Child will still feel victimized. Their childlike nature,
which needs nurturing, feels abandoned by the partner they are divorcing. They
will often suffer feelings of rejection and abandonment right along with the
person, which they no longer want to live with.
There are many unresolved issues in a relationship, which
cause the marriage to dissolves into divorce. Years of underlying problems,
formerly swept under the rug, are hanging in the air between the two parties.
They blame each other, and some spouses are not willing to take any
responsibility for the breakdown in the marriage.
We all have failings and idiosyncrasies, which may cause
our partner to get weary and to wander. If we address these concerns instead of
just giving up, we can find alternative methods of action. An equitable
solution that is agreeable to both people will always improve the relationship.
In humility, both partners can resolve the problems and allow God’s love to
heal their wounds.
Truthfully, prior to any divorce, both partners need to
forgive and to ask for forgiveness for the slights and issues they caused in
the marriage. Mutual forgiveness will heal many injures, and may even prevent
this drastic, unnecessary divorce. Then, there will be no more desire to
separate, and the couple will joyfully end up growing old together.
Prayer:
Father God, our true fulfillment is found through service
to You in our church and community, as well as in our marriage. We can serve
our mate regardless of how we feel about them. In fact, we are serving You by
serving them. This way we put our marriage in Your hands, relying on You to
change us and our partner. You hate divorce and are not pleased with anyone who
obtains a divorce without Biblical grounds for it (Matthew
19:9). Help us to bear one another's burdens and to fulfill Your
plans for our life (Galatians 6:2).
Thought for the Day:
Divorce divides us from the one, which we thought would
share our hopes and dreams and grow old with us, and it forces us into the
death of a relationship once birthed in love.
