How to Prevent a Divorce

When people, joined by God in marriage, choose to divorce, there is understandably an immense amount of pain and brokenness, which affects both lives. Even the person who initiated the divorce will suffer trauma. Financial, physical and employment setbacks occur in both lives. The emotions in both parties are traumatized.

This may make no common sense; but in matters of the soul, it makes perfect sense. Our soul is divided into our mind, will and emotions, and all three are negatively affected by a divorce. We also have three ego states in our mind, called the Inner Parent, Inner Adult and Inner Child. The Inner Child of the person initiating the divorce will also experience shock and distress.

Even if the person really wants the divorce for various reasons, their Inner Child will still feel victimized. Their childlike nature, which needs nurturing, feels abandoned by the partner they are divorcing. They will often suffer feelings of rejection and abandonment right along with the person, which they no longer want to live with.

There are many unresolved issues in a relationship, which cause the marriage to dissolves into divorce. Years of underlying problems, formerly swept under the rug, are hanging in the air between the two parties. They blame each other, and some spouses are not willing to take any responsibility for the breakdown in the marriage.

We all have failings and idiosyncrasies, which may cause our partner to get weary and to wander. If we address these concerns instead of just giving up, we can find alternative methods of action. An equitable solution that is agreeable to both people will always improve the relationship. In humility, both partners can resolve the problems and allow God’s love to heal their wounds.

Truthfully, prior to any divorce, both partners need to forgive and to ask for forgiveness for the slights and issues they caused in the marriage. Mutual forgiveness will heal many injures, and may even prevent this drastic, unnecessary divorce. Then, there will be no more desire to separate, and the couple will joyfully end up growing old together.

Prayer:

Father God, our true fulfillment is found through service to You in our church and community, as well as in our marriage. We can serve our mate regardless of how we feel about them. In fact, we are serving You by serving them. This way we put our marriage in Your hands, relying on You to change us and our partner. You hate divorce and are not pleased with anyone who obtains a divorce without Biblical grounds for it (Matthew 19:9). Help us to bear one another's burdens and to fulfill Your plans for our life (Galatians 6:2).

Thought for the Day:

Divorce divides us from the one, which we thought would share our hopes and dreams and grow old with us, and it forces us into the death of a relationship once birthed in love. 

It's Your Choice

 

Brokenness can either push you toward God or away from Him. If we allow discouragement to cause us to live in bitterness and anger, we will blame God. However, if we realize worldly temptations, sin and the devil cause these negative aspects to occur, then we will surrender to God. What Satan tries to use for our demise, God turns around for our good.

Overwhelming helplessness is a fork in the road. We choose which way we will go. If we decide to hate God, our life only gets worse, nothing works out for us, and in the end, we are hardened and lonely. If we settle into following hard after God, His grace helps us to climb the mountain of our pain into His waiting arms (Psalm 63:8; 1 Corinthians 15:10; Isaiah 40:11). He binds up our wounds and ultimately heals us (Psalm 147:3).

We cannot possibly be in control of every situation in our life; but God is. God had a hedge of protection around His servant Job. Satan believed that Job would curse God; so he got permission to all but destroy him. God knew Job's heart. When Job clung to God through every conceivable trial know to man, God blessed him with more than Satan destroyed (Job 42:10).

When our flesh and heart fail us, God strengthens us. He is our portion - all we need to prosper in this life (Psalm 73:26). There is no need to give in to discouragement or fear, because our God is always with us and holds us in the palm of His hand (Isaiah 41:10). God calls us to come to Him, so that He can give us His rest (Matthew 11:28).

If we yoke up with Christ throughout our life and learn from Him, our soul finds deepening rest. He makes every burden light, because He is on the other side of the yoke with us (Matthew 11:29-30). Jesus gives us His peace, which is more intense than anything this world has to offer. His peace helps us to overcome every fear, and all confusion and distress (John 14:27).

Prayer:
Father God, Your power is perfected in our weaknesses. We can actually glory in our idiosyncrasies and foibles, because then the power of Christ rests on us. Through it all, Your grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9). Remind us to trust in You with every part of our soul - our mind, will and emotions - and not to rely on our human understanding. If we acknowledge You in all of our thoughts, words and deeds, You will encourage and direct us (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Thought for the Day:

Give your brokenness to God, because He will sustain His righteous Saints and not allow us to be shaken by our circumstances. - Psalm 55:22

A Valuable Character Trait

 

Trust is a valued character trait often lacking in today's world. Since this is true, we have to learn to trust God in every circumstance and in every area of our lives. We can combat fear by counting God’s blessings instead (Psalm 103:1-2). Our soul returns to its rest each time we remember that the Lord is good to us. He delivers our eyes from crying, our feet from faltering and our body from dying (Psalm 116:7-8). We can trust God in all of life’s difficulties.

With Christ in us we are strong and we have courage. We are not anxious or stressed, because He is with us wherever we go (Joshua 1:9; Psalm 56:3). He is our Almighty One (Psalm 31:14). He created, redeemed and delivers us, and we belong to Him (Isaiah 43:1). God’s words are true and He provides His goodness to His people (2 Samuel 7:28). He never forsakes anyone who seeks Him, which shows that we can trust in Him (Psalm 9:10). Our soul rejoices both in His mercy and His salvation (Psalm 13:5).

So often, human advice counsels us to follow our heart. However, the heart is deceitfully wicked and impossible to understand (Jeremiah 17:9). In fact, whoever trusts in his/her heart is a fool (Proverbs 28:26). Equally as foolish is to trust in our bank account, our job or our mate to provide for us. The Lord gave us our job and with the economy, we may lose it; however, God will always provide for our needs (Proverbs 11:28). In Christ, brokenness and loss signals a new beginning, a new reality with transformed beauty.

As believers, we recognize Satan as a deceptive angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). We do not allow our self to get discouraged by his attempts to dishearten us. We stop emulating the traditions and activities of this world. We do not rely on our human resources. We trust in God’s faithfulness by remembering all that He did for His Biblical Saints (Daniel 6:23; Psalm 20:7). When we trust in the Lord of hosts, we are blessed (Psalm 84:12). As we submit to God, He transforms us into a new person by changing the way we think, speak and act (Romans 12:2).

When Jesus took bread and wine at the end of the last supper with His apostles, He shared them as a sign of the power we find in His death and resurrection. Ever since then, brokenness is always followed by transformation and transformation by trust. Brokenness is not an end, it does not signal destruction; it is a new beginning. At Jesus’ return, He will even transform our lowly body into a glorious, immortal one through the power of His resurrection (Philippians 3:21).

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, we will not allow our heart to be anxious. We believe in God and we believe in You (John 14:1). You fill us with Your joy and peace, which floods our soul – our mind, will and emotions. This belief allows us to overflow with hope by the power of Your Spirit (Romans 15:13). You promise to make all things new, and we trust in You to glorify us in our body, even as You justified us in our spirit and sanctify us in our soul (Revelation 21:5).

Thought for the Day:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. - Proverbs 3:5-6 

Something to Crow About

 

Whenever you find yourself unhappy, put on your praise music in the car or at home. Dance around the house as you do your chores, or fill the car with praises sung to the Lord as loud as your heart desires. This is an opportunity to worship God without distraction. Lay your cares at His feet. Reject Satan's whispered lies in your thoughts that discourage and depress you. God provided for you throughout your life. Praise Him for His blessings. Then, thank God that you possess only what He wants you to have. 

If you are lonely, realize that actually you can still be alone with a mate or in a crowd. If you need people, God will send them to help you at just the right time. However, you are never alone as long as Christ lives within you. Do not just spend time with the Lord, or even most of the day with the Lord. Spend all 1440 moments of the day and night with Him, listening to His Spirit's encouragement, counsel and direction. Rejoice in God’s continual provision for all of your needs. Rest in Him as you pray and read His Word. Obey His Spirit moment by moment throughout the day (Psalm 46:10).

A gardener cuts the branch from one tree and splices it to the trunk of another. This brokenness then transforms the tree and the branch with new life. New colors and shapes infuse the flowers on the tree because of the splice. God splices us into the Vine of Christ. He is the source of our true self-worth. Our self-worth does not come from what we have, who we are or what we do, but from our relationship with God, and His Christ (Colossians 3:3-4). He makes us kings, priests and saints, as well as co-heirs with His Son, Jesus Christ (). Now that is something to crow about!

Our body, soul and spirit each have their own place and function in our life. God gave us the ability to make choices, to admit to the consequences of the result of those choices, to realize our limitations without putting our self down, and to recognize our gifts and talents without taking the glory for them. When our physical desires as well as our thoughts, choices and emotions are subject to God’s Spirit, we start to reflect the fruit of God’s Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Our goal for completion in Christ is fulfilled step by step throughout our life.

Prayer:

Father God, Jesus died to give us a full life (John 10:10). However, the busyness of life interferes with our relationship with You. Remind us to rise above the distractions of this world to unite our life completely with you. Then, You can live and move and have Your being within us, just as we live and move and have our being in You (Acts 17:28). Help us to seek Your Kingdom first and to live in righteousness, rejoicing in Your provision for our every need (Matthew 6:33).

Thought for the Day:

Jesus did not tell us to seek His Kingdom along with everything else in life, but to seek Him first.

A Place of Refuge

God does not abandon us at birth and expect us to make our own way in life. He does not want us to work for Him; He prefers to work through us (Galatians 2:20). Even our best self-efforts are merely filthy rags in His sight (Isaiah 64:6). Once we recognize our need for complete reliance on the Lord, His Spirit engulfs us. We are filled through all of our being with all of God’s fullness (Ephesians 3:19-20). We take specific time-outs during the day to draw away from society and to sit in silence in God’s company.

Many of us maintain a lifestyle of extreme anxiety. We rush through life, losing sleep to meet quotas and cut-off dates, using up every degree of human exertion we can rouse. We pay inflated prices for dessert coffee to wake us up, and then swallow medication to quell the physical illnesses produced by our frantic pace. We depend on our self-effort to handle all of life’s terrors. We mistakenly think the world depends upon us and revolves around us. What we fail to remember is that the cemetery is full of people who thought they were indispensable.

Sometime after our conversion, God brings us to a deeper place of brokenness. Recognizing that we can no longer function through our human potential, we acknowledge our weakness and totally surrender to His Lordship. We enter a new realm of the Spirit, which leads us to God’s power in us and through us. Basking in His presence, we receive His love, peace, wisdom and strength (Isaiah 26:3). We let go of control over our life and relinquish our worries into His capable hands. He is our only lasting refuge and strength, our constant help in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1).

When we sit alone, we are never lonely as long as the Spirit of God resides within our spirit (Psalm 46:10). Connecting to the Spirit of God in times of aloneness gives us the opportunity to walk in His peace and rest throughout the day (Mark 6:31. We receive His healing for our spirit, body and soul – our mind, will and emotions. We enter our quiet place within, experiencing unity with His Spirit. We move through the routine of our daily life led by God’s Spirit.

As we carve deliberate times of solitude from our schedule to be alone (all-one) with the Lord, He readily speaks to us (Revelation 3:20). We suspend our thoughts and praise Him for His faithfulness and glory. Whether we are walking on the sunny beach beside the lulling cadenced of the swishing surf under the call of gulls floating on the breeze, or carpooling the children, or performing household chores, or driving in rush hour traffic, or chained to the overwhelming aspects at work, we remain in His presence, listening to His direction for every moment of our day.

We are dead, and our life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3). God lives within us through Christ and leads us by His Spirit, ready to commune with us whenever we give Him the chance. All it takes is for us to silence the dissonance within and without and to focus all of our attention on His love welling up within us. Then we will walk in balance with His Will and direction for our life. As we remain in the Lord and rest in His goodness, His quietness and confidence invade our spirit and give us strength. (Isaiah 30:15).

Prayer:

Father God, I find my rest in You alone; my salvation comes from You. My soul waits silently for You, because You are the source of all of my joy. Remind me to enter that quiet place within my spirit all throughout the day, no matter what responsibilities claim my time, so that I can focus on You and enjoy fellowship with You every moment of my life. As we abide in You, Your love abides in us (1 John 4:16).  You are our hiding place. You preserve us from trouble and surround us with Your protection and deliverance (Psalm 32:7).

Thought for the Day:
Make it a priority to pursue more of Christ in silent times alone with Him.
- Psalm 42:1

Help During Trouble and Trials

God always give us His help in our time of trouble and trials. However, we are so focused on the negative circumstances in our life that we often overlook His help. If the primary focus of our thoughts is on the Lord, we will realize that God has everything under His control (Proverbs 16:4). Nothing can come against us outside of His will, since we are His children (Romans 8:38-39). As we fellowship with other believers on a weekly basis, our spirit is strengthened and it is much easier to endure the difficulties life throws at us.

Reading a daily devotion is good, but reading the Bible is even better. If you can do both, that's amazing. If not, then just read the Bible. It is living and powerful and works like a two-edged sword to separate our carnality from our spirituality (Hebrews 4:12). In this world, we will experience many afflictions, but the Lord delivers us out of them all (Psalm 34:19). If we seek the Lord, He is sure to answer us and to deliver us from all of our fears (Psalm 34:4).

 

Although we experience many bitter troubles, God restores our life again. Even if we end up in the pits of the earth, He will rescue us (Psalm 71:20). We only need to call out to the Lord, and He will answer us from His holy mountain (Psalm 3:4). God actually has a secret formula for us to get through our trials with ease: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and requests with thanksgiving make your requests known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all human comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6–7).

When Paul bombarded heaven three times for healing from his infirmity, God answered him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Paul’s response was, “I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN I AM STRONG" (2 Corinthians 12: 9).

When we stop trying to control life and give God control over our life, we allow Him to provide for and to protect us. His mighty power starts working in us and through us. When we surrender our life to Him, He accomplishes infinitely more through our life than we could ever ask or think (Ephesians 3: 20).

Surrender is the doorway to freedom. It is a state of brokenness, of total dependence upon God, of receiving God’s forgiveness and of having a personal, daily relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. The opposite of surrender is control. Trying to maintain the control of our life is impossible, frustrating and useless.

When we surrender to God, we say, “Go ahead, Lord, and have Your way with me.” The act of surrender breaks our pride and our reliance on our “self”, as we put our life into His capable hands. He will then restore us to the person He intends for us to be: free of emotional pain and guilt, and equipped to serve Him in His chosen ministry for us.

Controlling usually produces the OPPOSITE effect of what we want. Our dependency on anything other than God: addictions, people, places, jobs, things, animals ~ puts us into bondage to them. Only God’s love produces true freedom.

Another key to surrender is to believe that the power of God truly CAN overcome any person or circumstance in our life. We try with all of our might to hang on, to fix it, to change it, to manage it or to try to make it right, but this rarely works. We cannot change people or circumstances, but GOD can. Admitting we are powerless and that we need God is the first step toward healing. God wants us to completely surrender our will to His and to be vulnerable in His love.

Prayer:
Lord God, we often blame You for the bad things that happen in our life. We forget that You created paradise for us. Paradise is Your will for our lives. However, sin in our life and in the lives of everyone around us causes these negative situations to occur. The key to remember is that when we surrender to You, You always work out everything, even the negative things, for our good (Romans 8:28). Remind us to let go of our control and to admit that we are powerless and we need Your power in our life.

Thought for the Day:

LET GOD BE GOD in your life.