A Good Marriage - A Prophetic Spirit

Some people are prophetic in nature. They always speak the truth; sometimes not in a very loving manner. They do not intend to hurt another's feelings, but at times it does happen. You always know where you stand with a prophetic person.

They will not lie to you, and over the years of maturing spiritually, they learn to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15-19). I am one of these prophetic people. One person in my life labeled me as a "mean spirited" person, because at times, the truth I speak hits a person the wrong way, and it hurts their feelings.

In a marriage, two opposites attract. We need the strengths in our spouse to balance out our weaknesses; and they need our strengths to balance out theirs. However, our idiosyncrasies and imperfections may frustrate or irritate one another.

It is wise to rationally discuss these issues and to resolve them, rather than allow bitterness to grow in our heart over the years. When our spouse's behavior causes us to pull away from him/her, we are using this distance and lack of attachment as a defense mechanism to protect our feelings.

Withdrawing is our way of preventing a volley of verbal discussion or disagreement that my possibly cause more hurt and bitterness; but withdrawing also compounds the problem by sweeping it under the rug. The feelings are always there, even if we bury them in our subconscious mind.

Stuffing our feelings only increases the hurt and is caused by pride. Humility allows us to admit that we are wounded, and to confront the offensive behavior during an unemotional time of rational dialogue.

These open, honest conversations bring enlightenment to both husband and wife, allow us to ask hard questions and to give honest answers in love, and to learn valuable lessons that lead to personal growth and positive change in the relationship, which strengthens the marriage.

Prayer:

Father God, teach us to fitly speak a word in due season in order to help our family, friends, associates and neighbors to improve their quality of life (Isaiah 50:4). Help us to realize when we did not speak the truth in love, but in prophetic fervor; and to humbly apologize for hurting someone's feelings.

Teach us to appreciate the candid counsel of a brother or sister in the spirit in which they intended to give it - to help us, rather than to wound us. Let their wise words help us to mature in our walk with You and to learn the secrets of life, which they already learned from You. Help us to pass on these truths to others in love and humility.

Thought for the Day:

When someone loves us enough to point out a fault, we should not take offense, but thank them for their honesty and for being willing to be vulnerable enough to tell us the truth; this allows us to heal from the inside out.

Moment by Moment - Alone with God

In our quest for more intimacy with God, we spend time each day by sitting quietly in our prayer closet and listening to the voice of our Beloved Lord. If we fail to spend time alone (all-one) with God in quietude and silence, we will never hear Him in the midst of the chaos and noisy activity of our day.

In our quiet time, we also write down in our journal whatever wisdom God gives us about our day, life, relationships and duties. We write down praises and prayer requests too. Then, we seek Him for His to-do list for us, which helps in prioritizing our day (Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:3).

This is why a daily quiet time of praise, devotion, and meditation in God’s Word is so important. We encounter God on a personal level. As we emerge from our quiet time, we do not leave Him behind. We stay in His presence. All through the day, we radiate joy, and walk in His calm peace, even in the midst of difficulties.

In this union with our Father, we realize the extent of His love for us as His unique child. Then, as we leave our secret place, we pay attention to what we see and hear in each moment of time. Our intimacy grows sweeter each day and we revel in His presence in every area of our life.

Most of the time people function in the present moment on automatic pilot. Usually our thoughts are either on the past or the future. Neither of those topics is very useful for the present moment. The trauma of the past and the fear of the future have no place in the present moment (Psalm 22:8).

As we sit in His presence, God removes our shame for past failures and assures us that we have no worries about the future. We are safe and secure in His arms in this present moment, even if the circumstances around us are full of turmoil, pain and conflict.

God makes all things work together for our good, even if we experience something unpleasant (Romans 8:28). As we dwell in the moment, we become increasingly conscious of our union with God through Jesus Christ by His Holy Spirit and we walk in His victory throughout the day, regardless of our circumstances (Colossians 3:3).

Prayer:
Father God, the problem we often have with living in the present moment is that we are hurt by the past and fearful of the future (1 Peter 4:19). As we cast our concerns on Your capable shoulders (Psalm 55:22; 1 Peter 5:7), You deal with the painful parts of our past. You often even lead us to a counselor who functions in the ministry of inner healing.

You also help us to begin the process of relinquishing our fears and entering into Your rest (Hebrews 4:10). As we focus on Your Word and meditate on Biblical verses You bring to our mind during the day, we find our peace restored (Philippians 4:5-7). Without faith, it is impossible to please You; therefore, as we come to You, let us believe that You are our Almighty God, and that You want to reward everyone who diligently seeks You (Hebrews 11:6).

Thought for the Day:

Once we repent, we are saved, and the past is over and forgiven; therefore, dwelling on it only hinders the present; and we are not promised a future, so dwelling on the future is also futile; God’s gift to us is this present moment, and what we do with it is our gift back to Him. 

Peace like a River

When worldly hostility bombards us, our heart is tempted to faint within us. We have the option of sharing this pain, frustration, and sorrow on a human level with friends and family. They, however, will only sympathize with, or "sermonize" to us about our feelings.

Our relationship with God gives us peace like a river in our soul - more potent than any peace that our earthly existence can offer. Only in the still, small place within our spirit can we find true empathy and solace from the God who loves us more than He loves Himself (John 3:16-18).

When we enter this "inner closet," we strip away all outer clutter. We empty our self of our self-centered thoughts and desires, and we focus solely on the voice of our Beloved God. We bask in the rays of His comfort and direction.

When we leave our prayer closet and return to the life to which God called us, we have renewed power to meet the needs of those He sends our way. We can forgive, we can nurture, we can empathize, and we can "wait on tables"– minister to others.

Living from this quiet place allows us to face the disappointments and discouragements of life, and to change our focus, which helps us to correct our direction and goals in life to those God prearranged for us (Ephesians 2:10).

Once we completely surrender all of our cares to Him, His peace, which passes all human understanding, keeps our heart and mind stable through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:5-7). We mature in our faith and increase our intimacy with the Trinity within us.

Prayer:

Father God, too often people tend to over-analyze and over-think things, which causes anxiety. If we focus on tomorrow, we will miss the beauty of what You give us today. The trauma of the past and the fear of the future have no place in this present moment, which You give to us.

Otherwise, we may miss the blessings that You have in store for us. Once You heal our soul, we do not feel shame for the past, and we have few worries about the future. We are safe and secure in Your eternal arms in this present moment, even if the circumstances around us are full of turmoil and conflict.

Thought for the Day:

Peace comes as we are fully present in the moment and as we observe just what is in front of us; God exhorts us not to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by the power of prayer along with an attitude of gratitude, we can present our requests to God, and we will reign victoriously over every trial.

- Proverbs 16:3

Spiritually Focused Balance in Life

If our focus in life is consumed with the natural aspects, our spirit will suffer, and our body and soul will endure deprivation as well. We often fill our life with busyness that is useless and detrimental to our relationship with God.

If we primarily focus on the fleshly, carnal aspects of our life – even positive things such as our job, church, family and hobbies - they become idols. If we only focus on religious aspects of life, we grow self-righteous and judgmental.

Our soul requires times of leisure and recreation in order to maximize its effectiveness. If our soul does not prosper, our body and spirit will suffer also (3 John 1:2). Yet, we often waste our time, energy and finances by pursuing unrighteous worldly pleasures.

It is the type of activity, and the amount of time and money we put into it, that determines whether or not we are actually catering to our flesh. Any aspect of life that we think we cannot do without becomes an idol.

Many people have a tendency to look at life with an all or nothing attitude. We think that to enjoy the features of living on this earth is to be earthly-minded; and to pray, read the Bible, and do Christian work is to live a holy, spiritually-minded life.

Although there is some truth in this, the reality is that God created all good things for us to enjoy (1 Timothy 6:17). He put us on this diverse and beautiful planet so that creation would point us to Him (Romans 1:20). As we enjoy creation, we see His glory and majesty surrounding us.

God also gives us talents in music, mechanics, woodworking, giving, art, engineering, plumbing, caring, teaching, technology, preaching, serving, etc. We actually balance out these earthly pursuits with a spiritual mind, as we do them all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Prayer:

Father God, You gave each of us gifts to use for Your glory (Romans 12:6; 1 Timothy 6:17). You did not give them to us so that we could use them in an effort to please You by self-righteousness. Rather, we do all things through the strength and energy that You supply for us. You give us gifts and talents, so that You can use them through us.

In this way, we cannot take any credit, but we will give You all of the glory and power forever and ever (Romans 2:8-9; 1 Peter 4:10-11). You even give us comfort in our trials and troubles, so that You can comfort others through us (2 Corinthians 1:4). Remind us that if we trust in our own abilities and wealth, we will fail; but as we step aside and allow You to bless others through us, we will prosper as well (Proverbs 11:28; Philippians 2:12-13).

Thought for the Day:

We are only consumed by our human nature if we refuse to allow God to reveal Christ in us according to His good pleasure; we eventually learn how to do everything, even mundane things like what we eat and drink, for God's glory.

– Ephesians 1:9; 1 Corinthians 10:31

Treating Our Self with Compassion and Empathy

Degrading, derogatory, and condescending people in our life teach us to live with criticism, and to expect it even from our self. The toxic words and attitude about who we are, and who we can become, attempt to cripple us. They thwart our attempts to live a fulfilled life.

However, when we wait on God in prayer, He enables us to discover the root of the blaming messages recycling in our subconscious mind. He teaches us how to treat our self and others with His compassion, rather than our disdain (Lamentations 3:19-23).

This paradigm-shift stops our self-abuse and puts us on a more positive path through life. There are valid reasons for our thoughts, emotions and behavior. We may not understand why we react in certain ways, but there is always an explanation hiding deep within our subconscious mind.

Understanding who we are in Christ is our key to unlocking the door to fulfillment and victory. We start encouraging the part of us that feels inadequate, because we realize that with Christ in our life, we can do everything of lasting value and meaning that He calls us to accomplish (John 15:5).

If we use compassion, tolerance and mercy in our assessment of our self, our soul will open up to us much more quickly than if we fear self-recrimination, internal lectures and personal censure. The dread of vulnerability diminishes when we feel safe.

Choosing positive activities, friends and thoughts will greatly enhance this experience (Philippians 4:8). Taking time to sit quietly in our favorite place, to meditate on God's Word and to listen to His Spirit, will help us to discern the root cause(s) of our negative issues, and to heal from them.

We cannot stop time; life keeps going on with or without us. God created us as human beings with all of our faults and foibles. There is no way for us to act or to think perfectly unless we live in ways that are totally controlled by the Spirit of God. This takes Godly wisdom and practice each moment of our day.

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that self-recrimination will inhibit our spiritual growth, as well as the sanctification of our soul. However, taking an inventory of our uncensored thoughts will bring quick resolution to negativity. We will view our inner dialogue and feelings from Your point of view with kindness and acceptance, loving and supporting our idiosyncrasies, and having patience with our human tendencies. This will honor You, and will bless our body, soul and spirit.

We repent of sinful inclinations and seek Your forgiveness. This way we learn to cherish our self, just as You care for us. Help us to see the benefit of blessing our self in little ways each day, such as: taking a hot bath, pursuing a hobby, snuggling with our favorite book and blanket, restoring an old car, gardening, following the progress of our favorite sports team, preparing a healthy treat for our self, visiting with our best friends, faithfully reading Your Word, and taking our concerns to You in prayer.

Thought for the Day:

We are a person too, and we can heal by having compassion for our self just as we do for others in our life; we grow in ways that we never thought possible when we give our self permission to play, relax, be creative, encounter new experiences, love our self when we fail, nurture our self when we are sick, and care about how we feel emotionally and how we are handling the stresses of life.

God's Spirit Transforms Our Personality

I was born with a melancholy personality. With this temperament I inherited a very thoughtful, analytical, creative, respectful, non-aggressive persona who is very naively accepting, self-sacrificing to a fault, and very sensitive to the moods and needs of others.

I am a very loyal friend in spite of the distance or time between visits. I try to make everything perfect and everyone happy. I put myself second to everyone else, and I often neglect my own needs.

On the other hand, my natural inclination is to be very moody, irritable, insecure, fearful, claustrophobic, easily depressed, pessimistic, critical and suspicious. At times, I struggle with bitterness, I hold onto grudges, and I am often intolerant.

I need order and equilibrium in my life. I prefer making plans and I do not like surprises. I can do things on the spur of the moment, unless it threatens my security in some way. I am fussy over details, and I like to have a place for everything and to have everything in its place.

On top of all of these impediments, I grew up in a dysfunctional home. As a child, I allowed others to walk all over me. My Father’s volatile rage and my mother’s emotional distance kept me quiet as a mouse and just as fearful.

In my teenage years, however, I learned to protect myself by hiding behind anger. I started to stick up for myself; and when people would not take me seriously, I used anger to make them pay attention to what I needed. Of course, this did not work very well, because I ended up hurting people in the process.

When I called upon Jesus to save me in my 18th year of life, He moved in and spent the next several decades transforming who I am into who He is (Romans 8:29). Now, Christ in me is my hope of glory (Colossians 1:27). The Holy Spirit sanctifies all of us more and more over each moment throughout our life.

Each day we see less of who we are and more of who He is within us (John 3:30). Those who know me can attest to the fact that I would no longer be considered a melancholic person. This is because as I decrease, Christ increases within me (John 3:30).

Over the years of our walk with the Lord, the Holy Spirit slowly replaces in us the negative attributes of our personality with His spiritual fruit (Galatians 5:22-23). He uses our strengths for His glory, and He transforms our shortcomings.

He gives us:

love – affection for others

joy – exuberance about life

peace – serenity

patience – willingness to stick with it

gentleness – compassion from the heart

goodness – kindness that pervades our entire being meekness – humility and service

self-control – guided by the Holy Spirit

and faith – trust that God knows what He is doing.

(Galatians 2:20, 5:16; Romans 8:14)

God enlarges our comfort zone, and we can do anything according to His will, because He strengthens us to accomplish everything He calls us to do (Philippians 4:13). We no longer live for our self, but Christ is living in and through us (Galatians 2:20).

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, thank You for releasing us from the bondage of our personality. You make melancholy people joyful, choleric people peaceful, phlegmatic people industrious, and sanguine people focused. By Your Spirit You transform our lives into something beautiful.

You lead us each step of every day, and You fill us with the power and the desire to do Your will in every situation. We give You the praise, honor and glory for all of the successes in our life. Thank You for transforming our life from self-centered and self-seeking, to Christ-centered and God-seeking.

Thought for the Day:

We may still struggle with the negative characteristics of our personality - they are there, influencing how we feel and what we do; however, by the power of God's Spirit within us, they no longer control us, and we can easily put them aside and walk in the Spirit at any moment, in order to accomplish God’s will for our life.

Our Help in Times of Need

Life has a way of demanding more from us than we are prepared to accept or to give. We feel lost, inept, fearful, insecure, muddled and even depressed at times. These challenges require that we cling to God more strongly than ever before, and they can change us in vital ways that make us a better person.

If we are honest, we even find our self in conflict in our own soul. Have you ever wondered: "Why did I say that?" "Why did I act that way?" "Why do I feel like this?" Psychology teaches us that we have three inner "ego states" that often have different needs and unique perspectives on what we are experiencing.

This same inner conflict accompanies us in our relationships in life with our spouse, children, extended family, church family, neighbors, community, workmates, etc. These issues force us to resolve the difference through compromise, or to shun parts of our self and those in our life as toxic. We avoid them like a plague.

Unbelievers rely on faulty worldly philosophies to guide them. However, authentic Believers have tried and true Biblical wisdom, as well as the Holy Spirit to direct us through these times of darkness. Yet, we often bury our feelings and questions, because they are too confusing to consider.

If we trust in God, we rely more on Him and the direction of His Holy Spirit. Rather than resenting these trying circumstances and our inner turmoil or the person causing conflict, we find our self acting like Christ, with His divine nature and the fruit of His Spirit taking the place of our short-comings.

We come into a deeper dependence on and understanding of who God really is, what He requires of us, and how to trust in His predetermined, individual plan for us (Psalm 139; Ephesians 2:10). We realize that our Father God knows best.

We no longer need our learned assumptions of how to survive in life. God draws us into a closer personal intimacy with Himself. Instead of trusting in our self, we fully submit our body, soul and spirit to God's safe keeping, as we obey His will for each moment of our day.

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for circumstances that enable us to experience a closer walk with You, that mature us spiritually, and that strengthens our soul to do "hard things," which we never envisioned our self accomplishing. You use these conflicts to transform our mind and to change our perspective, as they teach us that we are capable of more than our natural gifts and talents are able to achieve.

Even when we are weary and heavy laden with dire circumstances, as we yoke up with You (Matthew 11:29), You provide us with Your wisdom and power to rise to the occasion, and to minister in ways in which we never envisioned our self serving. Our trials revise our concept of who You are and what You mean to us. Thank You for these times that cause us to depend more on You than on our human resources.

Thought for the Day:
Our life's circumstances may include mental and physical abuse, abandonment, rejection, estrangement from loved ones, etc. that trigger us to develop a controlling attitude toward people who affect our life, and cause us to develop methods to provide for our self, and to defend our self from real or imagined future wounds; we live like this until we come to experientially know the intense love and compassion that are ours through our relationship with the God of the universe.