Most humans have a difficult time developing a healthy sense of “self”. Christians who are already confused about their self-worth experience even more perplexity on this subject, when we hear the conflicting and strongly held views and attitudes about the “self” from various factions of legalistic Christians. This confusion and uncertainty gets in the way of our efforts to develop a healthy sense of who we are in Christ.
When Jesus says "deny yourself”, He is not suggesting that we get rid of our “self” in terms of the basic essence of who we are as human beings, He is not calling us to give up our ability to make safe choices, and He is not calling us to become thoughtless robots or doormats that are void of all thought and emotion. He calls us to be a bond-servant, a slave to Christ, but not to one another.
Self-denial is a good thing when it refers to the over indulgence of our flesh in sinful activities. Galatians 5:19-21 gives us a comprehensive list of various types of sinful activities. A verse about denying self is Philippians 2:3-5 & 7. From these passages you can see that God is calling His followers to deny selfishness that is contrary to God's will and Word. However, this is not referring to denying our self-worth as authentic followers of Jesus Christ.
When we disregard the caution of the Holy Spirit within us, and we push ourselves to do more and more “works” of service in order to prove that we are “dead to self”, we get out of God’s will for our life. We drive ourselves to the point of extreme fatigue, burn out, resentment and outright anger over the heavy burdens we accept. We believe that in order to have a Christ-like attitude, we must put others before our self, by putting their needs ahead of our own. There is such a shade of truth to this mindset that it blinds us from seeing the fallacy in this line of thinking.
Denying the “flesh” is a very different outlook from denying the heart of who we are as a person. God is not an enemy of the “self”, but He is the Fulfiller of all of our needs. First, He offers us redemption and eternal life through Jesus Christ. Then, He also wants us to make wise choices throughout our life, so He gives us the Holy Spirit as our Counselor. He also offers grace and forgiveness, when we fail to follow His will. As Christians, we are already crucified with Christ; and it is not we, but Christ who lives His life through us (Galatians 2:20). All we need to do is to get out of the way and let God be God in us and through us.
To the person who cannot say "No" to anyone, or who cannot set healthy, spirit-led boundaries, there will be a whole string of negative emotions that accompany every act of service to others. Some well-meaning people may even exacerbate the problem by heaping guilt and condemnation upon us for even thinking about refusing to serve in some area where we do not feel led. These negative emotions eat away at our ability to give of our “self” in healthy ways. On the other hand, when we walk in obedience to the Spirit, this keeps us from feeling negative toward others and ourselves. At the same time, walking in the Spirit automatically frees us from any concern about fulfilling the lusts of our flesh (Galatians 5:16).
When we read 1 Corinthians 12, we learn that each of us has our own gifts and callings from God. When we set healthy boundaries, we establish a foundation on which we can build normal, healthy relationships with God, others and our “self” and fully exhibit these traits of love. 2 Corinthians 9:7 says: "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." We should only give from a place of love, joy and peace, not from obligation and legalistic requirements.
When we look at Philippians 2:1-2, we can see that there is a definite sequence in God's plan for us:
- We have comfort from His love,
- We have fellowship with the Spirit, and are led by the Spirit.
- We can act with tenderness and compassion toward others,
- We end up: (a.) being like-minded with each other and the Spirit (b.) having the same love for one another.
Once we develop a fulfilling relationship with Jesus Christ and set boundaries for our life as He directs us to, then we can step out into ministering to others. Otherwise, we just end up serving from a humanistic heart and we get sidetracked from God’s plan for our life. We also often circumvent the plan God has for another’s life, when we step in to help when God does not direct us to do so.
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, teach me to deny the lusts of my flesh, but to gain my sense of self-worth through my relationship with You. Help me to minister to others only as I am led by Your Spirit and not according to any humanitarian tendencies of my heart. Help me to walk in the Spirit moment by moment throughout the day.Thought for the Day:
“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.” - Romans 8:1
