Read: Proverbs 15:1-2
“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” - Proverbs 25:11
Have you ever noticed that whenever there is more than one person in a room, there is the potential for a disagreement? The most loving of couples eventually experience an argument. To protect the integrity of their relationship, conflicting partners need to recommit themselves to one another after every stressful event or time of discord in their life. This assertion of love and faithfulness between them serves to reassure them both.
The first step in bridging a gap in your relationship is forgiveness. If the difference of opinion gets swept under the rug or is put on the back burner and allowed to simmer, the issues will resurface with some future catalyst. Not only will it reoccur, but it will also cause the current issue to balloon out of proportion with the added steam from the unresolved conflict. Admitting, “I was wrong and I apologize” are both the toughest words to say and the most powerful ointment verbalized in the human language. Humility puts your partner at ease and generates an environment for them to apologize for their own part in the quarrel.
Once the apology is made and accepted, then a recommitment to the relationship is necessary. Even when we choose to forgive, the painful memory of the occurrence reverberates in our mind. Sometimes, relying on God’s agape love is the only way to care for an individual in the absence of any feeling of human love toward him/her. The painful memories ease with time, but a restored dedication to the union between you creates loving emotions in you right away.
A phenomenon that I never understood until now is that sometimes we even disagree when we are the only one in the room! Did you ever have an argument with yourself? Psychologists say this “split personality” comes from the three ego states within your soul. They label them as the Inner Parent, Adult and Child. Your Inner Parent is Authoritarian, Permissive or Nurturing and reflects all the parental figures from your past; your Inner Child is either healthy, wounded or recovering depending on the way you were treated by all of the parental figures in your life; and your Inner Adult is the person you are becoming now and often serves as the referee between the Parent and Child.
If you analyze the transactions between these three entities within your soul, you will discover a great deal about yourself and you will also feel more connected and integrated as a person. You will also react differently to other people in your life, because you will start to recognize their distinct ego states as well. God’s desire is to restore us to wholeness, as we invite Him to go back in the corridors of our past, where often we do not want to go, and to heal the painful memories that haunt us to this day. He is waiting to fill those empty places as only He can fill them. You can depend on Him to do it. He lived on this sin-cursed earth and empathizes with every hurt and negative emotion that we could ever experience. He understands exactly how you feel.
There are many books written on this subject. The one I recommend is: Healing the Child Within, by Charlie Whitfield. If what I said peeked your interest, I am also available to chat more about this at: ckbradley950@comcast.net
Prayer:
Lord, when I conflict with my loved ones, please give me the humility to admit where I am wrong and to apologize for hurting their feelings. Move by Your Spirit to renew the bonds of love and allow us to walk in one accord. Start by healing the factions within my own personality and make me whole and complete in You (Colossians 2:10).
Thought for the Day:
Even if I am not at fault, help me to apologize for contributing to the discord.
