Since life happens without any warning, I got into the habit, at a very young age, of breathing in shallow breaths. This is detrimental, because my body does not receive all of the oxygen it needs. My blood pressure went up, since I was hyperventilating all of the time. My mind kept my body in high alert. My soul does not react well to the uncertainty of life.
Inwardly,
I felt fearful and insecure all the time. The environment in which I lived was unreliable
and unpredictable. In my childhood, I grew up with emotional distance,
unpredictable anger and physical aggression, which caused dread and
instability. Throughout my life, I lived with repeated unsettling circumstances
and unexpected changes.
For
instance, I moved way too often in my early married life, and had to start over
too many times. Eventually, my former husband decided he needed to move on without
me, so I lived through divorce. I also experienced two car crashes in which I totaled
both cars. The first accident left me with emotional turmoil and the second inflicted
extensive physical trauma.
All
of my life, I tried to control life to keep it manageable and safe. Of course,
I failed miserably at this endeavor. We cannot harness life no matter how many safety
valves we provide. I still do not like surprises and I have to remind myself to
be more flexible, but I have learned some valuable life lessons.
Over
my years as a Believer, I learned to keep my focus on God, to surrender
everything to Him in prayer, to have faith in God’s faithfulness and to be more
in tune to His Spirit (Isaiah
26:3; Philippians 4:6; 1 Corinthians 1:9; Romans 8:14). God taught me to cast
my cares on Him, because He really does care about me.
Walking
in the Spirit moment by moment keeps me prepared for the unexpected (1 Peter 5:7; Psalm
77:14; Romans 8:28; Galatians 5:15-21). God also taught me that He places a seed for
a miracle within every trial. With each lesson I learned, I started breathing
more deeply because the feeling of impending doom disappeared.
Prayer:
Father
God, You have a perfect plan for our life (Ephesians 2:10). Remind us to seek Your
direction for each task You planned for our day, and then to seek Your face for
guidance on how to do what You instruct us to do. Consumed by Your Spirit,
there is no room for negative emotions. As we face new situations in life,
which cause us injury, unrest and indecision, we can wait on You and face the
circumstance with Your courage from within us. You strengthen us from the
inside out to meet every new challenge (Psalm 27:14).
Thought
for the Day:
Trusting
totally in God and surrendering to His will for my life gives me His joy and
serenity, which trying to control life never did.
