As I learned
to enter God's rest and walk in His Spirit, I experienced intense withdrawals
from my former codependent lifestyle. I acted like a schizophrenic.
One moment I
would say or do something codependent and the next moment I would step into my
new role as a Spirit-led Believer and say or do the opposite. I confused people
by this dual personality.
Gradually, I
decreased in my role as a codependent and Christ increased in me. I learned to
say "No" unless God told me to say "Yes." He taught me to
let the job go undone; so others whom God was calling to that role would step
up and do it instead of me.
I started to
see and appreciate the gray hues and tones in life, rather than seeing only
black or white. My flexibility increased and my rigid extremes decreased.
The demon of
perfectionism left my soul and I found joy in the messes of life as I had more
time to enjoy other pursuits, which God called me to do. I actually left dishes
in the sink and went to bed.
God's Spirit
slowly changed my perspective from a carnal, earth-bound outlook to a
spiritual, heavenly-minded one. He also healed my wounded soul, traumatized and
dysfunctional since childhood and young adulthood ( www.theophostic.com ).
I released
the shame and feelings of defectiveness attached to the wounds of the past and
accepted His divine character and the fruit of His Spirit in their place (2
Peter 1:4; Galatians 5:22-23).
Prayer:
Father God,
thank You for exposing Satan's lies, which made me believe that I had to earn
love by my behavior. Your Agape love opened me up to expect unconditional love
from the significant others in my life. The fear, insecurity, defensiveness and
over-sensitivity, which plagued my life decreased as I learned to trust You in
spite of the untrustworthy people in my life.
You taught
me the reality of the fact that You work out everything for our good, even the
negative experiences in our life, which threaten to choke the very life from
our soul (Roman 8:28). You trained me to look for the seed for a miracle in
every trial. You are our worthy, benevolent Father and we are completely loved
by You.
Thought for
the Day:
Self-destructive
behaviors - driven by frustration, anger and a wounded soul - diminish as we
learn to enter God's rest and bask in His peace and joy, which are our true
source of strength. - Nehemiah 8:10
