As a perfectionist codependent, I always put everyone else's needs
above my own. As we all
serve one another, we all get served. I read in the Bible that God wanted it
this way.
However, it
did not work that way in the first 45 years of my life. I did all the serving
and others did all the taking with rare expressions of gratitude or
encouragement for what I did.
I grew to
resent the lack of reciprocation and my constant physical and emotional
exhaustion. I felt like a hamster on its wheel, going round and round day after
day and getting no place fast.
One day I
realized that I was actually teaching people to expect me to do everything and
not to respect me or my needs. I had a savior and martyr complex a mile wide
and high.
The fact is,
however, that I love to serve others. It is my main ministry in Christ's body.
Thankfully, I started working for a recovering codependent at this same time and
she spoke truth to me that set me free.
She said,
"You are a person too, and you can minister to yourself and meet your
needs in the same way you meet everyone else's needs." WOW! That gave me
food for thought.
She reminded
me of Jesus' words to love others as we love our self (Luke 10:27). I realized
right away that I did not love myself in the same way that I loved others.
This opened
up a whole new world for me. I went to the library and checked out books on how
to be a nurturing parent. I learned to nurture myself and how to nurture others
in a healthier manner.
Prayer:
Father God,
so many times we take Your words at face value and skip over the minute details
of the verse. We miss so much of the meat of Your Word because we do not take
them in context with other verses in the Bible. We miss the whole picture,
which You intend for us to see.
As we follow
the leading of Your Spirit each moment of the day, we stop allowing the good
things to become the enemy of the best things. We stop spinning our wheels by
so much busyness and we live productive lives that bring us joy as we also give
joy. We develop a
closer relationship with You and people see our good works and give You the
glory (Matthew 5:16).
Thought for
the Day:
As we walk
in the Spirit, we stop enabling others to be less than they can be by allowing
them to do hard things for themselves and to learn to lean on God instead of on
us, so they can live productive lives.
