Eighteen months after my marriage
dissolved, God introduced me to a loving man who was also rejected by his
former mate. It was not long before I fell back into my old schizophrenic habits
whenever I felt fearful and insecure.
Rather than to reject me, he dwelt
with me with understanding and helped me to heal from this inappropriate
behavior and to learn new habits.
First, he taught me to gather all
of the facts when I felt slighted, wounded or harmed by his behavior. He
insisted that he would never purposely hurt me, so I needed to discuss my
feelings with him right away in order to get clarification and assurance.
He asked me not to allow my
feelings to build up until the last straw and then to blow up like a volcano,
but to share with him as they were happening.
We soon discovered that I often did
share my feelings appropriately, but he did not always take them seriously. As
a man, he did not see the relevance of some of my feelings and just ignored
them.
This revelation taught him to
start listening to me more earnestly. Also, I learned to discern when his ears
were disengaged; so rather than blow up I would jokingly say, "Are you
going to pay attention, or do I have to pull out my Italian temper?"
This reminded him to help me to
resolve the issues that bothered me. He realized that if they were important
enough for me to communicate them, then they were important enough for his full
attention.
He learned to have compassion for
my concerns, even if he saw them as inconsequential. He made an effort to stop
making decisions that affected my life without discussing them with me first. I
felt more understood, less fearful and less insecure.
Divorce is never an option,
because there is no disagreement that cannot be resolved. God brought us into a
new and deeper union with one another and with Him, than we ever thought
possible on this side of heaven.
We do not take one another for
granted and we nurture and enjoy each other. We make a great team as mates and
as co-workers in the Kingdom of God. Together, we are learning to hear and to follow
the leading of God's Spirit even in the minutest details of life.
Prayer:
Father God, thank You for
bringing two rejected individuals together, to help one another to heal, to
grow in our relationship with You and one another, and to work together as we
bloom where You plant us. Teach us to continue to live in harmony, and to love
and appreciate one another as our personality needs to be loved.
( http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
)
Thank you for using us as
examples of a loving relationship to inspire other couples to lay down their
life for one another and to mutually submit to one another as co-heirs with
Christ (Ephesians 5:21; 1 Peter 3:7). We cherish our relationship with You now
and we look forward to eternity in Your presence as well.
Thought for the Day:
As we maintain a pure heart
before the Lord, He makes all thing beautiful in their time. - Ecclesiastes
3:11
