The Healing Journey - Part 3 - Dwelling with Understanding

Eighteen months after my marriage dissolved, God introduced me to a loving man who was also rejected by his former mate. It was not long before I fell back into my old schizophrenic habits whenever I felt fearful and insecure.

Rather than to reject me, he dwelt with me with understanding and helped me to heal from this inappropriate behavior and to learn new habits.

First, he taught me to gather all of the facts when I felt slighted, wounded or harmed by his behavior. He insisted that he would never purposely hurt me, so I needed to discuss my feelings with him right away in order to get clarification and assurance.

He asked me not to allow my feelings to build up until the last straw and then to blow up like a volcano, but to share with him as they were happening.

We soon discovered that I often did share my feelings appropriately, but he did not always take them seriously. As a man, he did not see the relevance of some of my feelings and just ignored them.

This revelation taught him to start listening to me more earnestly. Also, I learned to discern when his ears were disengaged; so rather than blow up I would jokingly say, "Are you going to pay attention, or do I have to pull out my Italian temper?"

This reminded him to help me to resolve the issues that bothered me. He realized that if they were important enough for me to communicate them, then they were important enough for his full attention.

He learned to have compassion for my concerns, even if he saw them as inconsequential. He made an effort to stop making decisions that affected my life without discussing them with me first. I felt more understood, less fearful and less insecure.

Divorce is never an option, because there is no disagreement that cannot be resolved. God brought us into a new and deeper union with one another and with Him, than we ever thought possible on this side of heaven.

We do not take one another for granted and we nurture and enjoy each other. We make a great team as mates and as co-workers in the Kingdom of God. Together, we are learning to hear and to follow the leading of God's Spirit even in the minutest details of life.

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for bringing two rejected individuals together, to help one another to heal, to grow in our relationship with You and one another, and to work together as we bloom where You plant us. Teach us to continue to live in harmony, and to love and appreciate one another as our personality needs to be loved.

( http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ )

Thank you for using us as examples of a loving relationship to inspire other couples to lay down their life for one another and to mutually submit to one another as co-heirs with Christ (Ephesians 5:21; 1 Peter 3:7). We cherish our relationship with You now and we look forward to eternity in Your presence as well.

Thought for the Day:

As we maintain a pure heart before the Lord, He makes all thing beautiful in their time. - Ecclesiastes 3:11

The Purpose of Emotions

God gave us emotions to express our self in words full of feeling and meaning. God also has emotions and expresses them throughout His Word.

There are no bad emotions. The Bible even tells us it is acceptable to feel anger; it simply cautions us not to allow anger to push us into sin (Ephesians 4:26).

Jesus was angry at the abuse of His Father's Temple by the money changers. He allowed the anger to spur His actions, but He did not act in anger. He was determined and purposeful when He cleansed the temple (Matthew 21:12-17).

Human anger is often like a volcano, which scars the earth with lava welts. Human anger also erupts in a flash and leaves behind huge scars in the hearts of the recipients of that anger.

We should use anger as a red flag to alert us that our body or soul is wounded. Then we can express the feelings of woundedness rather than the emotion of anger.

God gave us physical feelings to bring us pleasure and to alert us of pain and any type of sensitivity. Our emotional feelings function in the same way.

They protect us from danger and injury and bring us joy. Our feelings alert us to what is happening in our spirit, body and soul. We can learn to discern and respond to these indicators.

We even have feelings of intuition, which help to keep us out of trouble. If we ignore our feelings, we will end up in trouble physically, mentally and emotionally.

This is why we need to make a searching inventory of our body, soul and spirit on a daily basis. We analyze the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual transactions going on within us.

This enables us to discern our needs and respond to them, to ask for help from our family and friends, and to seek God's will for us each moment of our day.

Prayer:

Father God, help us not to disguise or suppress our feelings, or to condemn our self for them. Remind us to use them as You intended: to protect us, to help us to enjoy life and to build more intimate relationships with You and with one another.

Teach us not to abuse our feelings by lashing out at others or by allowing our negative feelings to cripple us with bitterness or unforgiveness. Instead, we can acknowledge to You and to others how we honestly feel and what we need done to feel better.

Thought for the Day:

People who cannot honestly but kindly express their mental, physical and emotional feelings, or who are too afraid to even acknowledge their feelings, are the real fatalities in this world.