We often hear or read about the
idea that friends make the best mate for our life. In the 44 years of marriage
that I experienced so far in my lifetime, I have to agree with this wisdom.
There is one downfall to this
concept, however. We often end up taking our friends for granted, neglecting
our relationship when our life gets busy, and letting down our guard with one
another until we treat each other with less respect and cherishing love than is
healthy for our marriage.
The only way to keep the spark of
love and interest alive in our marriage is to appreciate each other and to
spend time together. Attending church services together, working together in a
ministry, riding together to appointments and chatting along the way.
We can participate in hobbies
that we are both interested in doing with our time; make an effort to share
laughter every day; trust one another with our secret fears, hopes and joys;
and cherish our relationship above all others.
We forgive each other for
shortcomings, inconsideration, grouchy exchanges, perceived slights and
failures to keep promises. Hoarding hurt feelings blocks the flow of love
between two people, but forgiveness is God's divine ingredient for living
happily ever after.
Expectations are a part of
marriage. We are all human with individual desires, and we only have one mate
to help us to fulfill those needs. Be willing to help your mate meet his/her
needs.
Healthy couples never insist on their
own way, but we express our requests clearly, expect to be taken seriously and
trust that our mate will cheerfully help us to complete whatever task in which
we are involved.
Sharing moments of intimacy,
meaningful looks, a wink or a smile across the room, frequently expressing the
words "I love you"; connecting physically during the day with a phone
call, email, text or love note hidden in an obvious place, and a frequent kiss
or hug are all ideas that will keep the spark alive between us.
Prayer:
Father God, remind us that serving
one another in love enables us to remember that we are both equally important
in our marriage. When there is discord, help us to look for solutions within
our self and our attitude and behavior, rather than to try to impose our opinions
on one another.
Keep us aware that our body
language is very expressive, sometimes more so than the words we use. Inspire
us to make the effort to brainstorm together to find a solution with which we
can both agree on, in order to keep the peace in our home through every season
of life. This will make both of us feel "heard", considered and
cherished.
Thought for the Day:
Whenever two people live
together, there is always conflict; but it is how we handle that conflict that
allows us to pull together rather than to pull apart.
