Confrontation
is important for the health of relationships. That sounds absurd, but it is
true. Jesus was not afraid of conflict, and had them all the time with various
people. He spoke the truth in love. We will not win any popularity contests,
but we will make true friends.
Confrontations are not loud expressions of frustration or anger, but mild, kind and loving conversations. We must also be willing to lay down our pride and allow others to speak into our life as well - eager to change any inconsistencies or sins that we cannot see on our own.
Rather
than withdrawing in disgust and repeating some pious platitude to make the
other person feel better about their choices, we can pray about the issue, and
then lovingly tell them what the Spirit tells us to say to them.
The
experts say that "truth in its first form is always negative". Therefore,
a loved one may get upset with us for what we say. We do have to be careful not
to share our own opinions, values and perspective, but to clearly hear God's
truth for each situation.
The
Lord may want us to pray and not to speak; but at other times, He will want us
to share His truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). We will definitely improve a
person's life by sharing the truth, and we may even heal relationships and
improve our rapport with them.
When
our mate, friend, child, family member, acquaintance or a random stranger comes
to us for advice, and they confide in us about some conviction by God that they
are experiencing, then speaking the truth in love is much more valuable for
him/her than pacifying them or minimizing what they are feeling.
We
do not judge, belittle or criticize each other, because we have our own foibles
and idiosyncrasies too. However, when we
aid each other in our walk with the Lord, by kindly pointing out behavior in
their life that is inconsistent with God's Word, we do them a favor.
God
will teach us throughout our lifetime how to develop spiritual bonds with
people. We build a friendship that will weather any storm, help us to grown
mentally, emotionally and spiritually, as well as last throughout eternity.
Prayer:
Father
God, remind us that, at times, another person's behavior is a response to our
behavior. We may be the cause of their attitude or outburst. So, rather than
judging or criticizing them, we can interact with them and help them to
discover what thoughts or emotions instigated their words or behavior. Teach us
that listening to another's heart will go a long way in improving our responses
to each other.
Help
us to have a heart like melted butter, full of empathy and compassion, rather
than defending our self during conflicts. We may want to explain why we acted
as we did, but remind us to do that after we apologize and show understanding
for their feelings. We thank You for the people that You place in our life, and
we praise You with all of our heart for Your presence. Great is Your mercy, compassion and
deliverance toward us (Psalm 86:13).
Thought
for the Day:
A
lack of disagreement in a relationship causes more problems than conflict, and
we actually help one another through honest communication; when we start by allowing
God's Spirit to exchange His fruit for our carnal pride, resentment, inactivity,
codependency, and self-centeredness, this will go a long way in improving our
connection with other people. - Galatians 5:22-23
