There
is no need for flattery, little white lies, or undue praise, but we can use a
little patience, understanding, compassion and encouragement to deflate what
may turn into a raging war. Living as a peace-maker is the key to successful
relationships.
We
can calmly question their decision in order to gain clarity, rather than
assuming that we know their mindset or motives. Maybe we misunderstand their
direction or reasoning. We lovingly and loyally stand on their side of the
fence, until they prove they do not care about us, our needs or our opinions.
We
do not defer our needs, allow people to walk all over us, or enable them to
abuse or belittle us. We let them make their decisions, and then we make ours.
We are not afraid to speak the truth in love in a confident, rational manner.
Jesus
did not shrink from confrontation in relationships. He attempted to jar people
out of their complacency, pride, rebellion and wrong choices (Judas and Peter
in Matthew 26; and the woman at the well in John 4). He knew that speaking the
hard truth was for their own good.
First,
we look inward to see if we are causing their behavior by our words, attitude
or actions. Then we suggest a change in us or in them. We help one another to
pursue godliness (1 Timothy 6:11) with our whole heart, mind and strength.
Prayer:
Father
God, often we cannot even life in harmony with our self. We argue with our self
and question our thoughts, actions and motives all the time. Yet, we are also
quick to accuse or misjudge someone else. This causes a rift in our
relationships and unnecessary bitterness in our heart against them.
Remind
us to get all the facts behind their words or actions before we over-react to
their choices. Help us to see issues from their perspective too, and not just
from our own. Teach us that if we both have valid concerns, we can pray
together and brainstorm until You reveal to us a third option that fulfills
both of us at the same time that it solves our problem.
Thought
for the Day:
When
there is conflict in our relationships, we first question our behavior, rather
than theirs; how are we causing them to react to us as they are? Then we
ascertain from them, their motives and thinking rather than assuming the worst.
If we cannot agree, we can always brainstorm until we find a third option on
which we can both agree.
