Satan is consistently involved in our dialogue with our self and with each other. We notice a person's behavior, or a tone in their voice, or their body language, and we often assume the worst.
We
fail to ask them about it, afraid of a confrontation; so we stew for hours. We assume
that they are indifferent, unsympathetic mean-spirited or unloving. We think
that they should instinctively know what we need without us asking.
Maybe
their good intentions backfired, and they unknowingly hurt our feelings. Are
they distracted, do they have a burden consuming their thoughts, are they busy
and do we need to wait for a better time to talk to them? Do they think we are
just making a comment instead of asking for help?
Many
times the other person just does not understand, or cannot relate to what we
are saying. They do not know how to empathize or what to do to help us. They
feel useless, and they need us to be honestly candid about exactly what we
need, rather than hinting or assuming.
When
we make assumptions, we put boundaries around our heart and theirs. We feel unfavorably
toward them, and we struggle with damaging negative emotions, often needlessly.
It is much better to kindly ask for clarification of what they are thinking or feeling.
Direct
and honest communication, done without accusations, hints and innuendoes, is
the best method to express our needs. We should also consider whether the
person is actually listening to us, or if they are zoned out, or if they misconstrued
what we said or asked.
Getting
their attention before we speak, making eye contact, clarifying what they heard
us say, and helping them to understand what we need will go a long way in
solving these problems.
Prayer:
Father
God, I used to think that You played a cruel trick on humanity by allowing
opposites to attract. The conflict in communication is grievous to me, and I
often feel frustrated, unloved and misunderstood. You created men, women, and
different personality types to think so differently, and have such contrasting
needs, that it is hard for us to get along.
Over
the years, You taught me that opposites attract for a reason. You want us to share
our strengths in order to improve both our lives and to help each other rather
than for us to compete with one another. You made us different so that we could
bless one another in ways that we could never accomplish on our own. Thank You
for Your wisdom and love for us. We can never thank You enough.
Thought
for the Day:
Giving
people the benefit of the doubt will minimize the negative reactions that we
have with them, improve our communication, and foster positive feelings and
relationships; however, when we do doubt their meaning or intentions, we can
kindly ask them to clarify their words or actions, and have patience with, and
compassion on their reasoning.
