It
is so important to marry someone who cherishes us, cares about our needs, whom
we respect and honor, and with whom we enjoy a friendship. Our marriage is not
about us; it is about serving the one we married in mutual submission to one
another.
If
we marry for physical attraction, financial security, help with some area in
our life, companionship, common interests, to meet some goal we set for our
self, etc., we will grow apart and live in disappointment.
Marriage
is about unconditionally accepting and loving our mate, regardless of our
differences, circumstances, convenience, and desires. We make a commitment on
our wedding day to love in adversity and in the good times.
Loyalty,
understanding, mutual appreciation, cherishing each other, and enjoying time
together are crucially vital. Compassion for and acceptance of one another,
without trying to change one another, is also important.
Instead,
we can each express our basic needs and desires in every situation, and work
together to find a mutual decision and plan of action that will meet both of
our needs. This way we both "win". Attempting to control each other or
to make decisions involving our mate without talking to them first never works.
Showing
patience toward each other has a way of perfecting us and increasing our faith
in God's faithfulness (Romans 5:4). We encourage and serve each other,
regardless of the little irritations or the huge disappointments that arise in
our life together.
We
guard against pride, which builds up a wall of unresolved conflicts between us
(1 Corinthians 13:4). Taking a continual inventory of how our words, attitude,
body language, actions and thoughts are affecting our mate will allow us to
correct our own behavior.
Taking
the time to play, laugh and interact with one another is essential. Snuggling
on the couch; finding ministries and hobbies to share; supporting one another's
vocations, making time to communicate our thoughts and feelings with our mate;
focusing on each other's needs; planning a date time; grocery shopping, cooking
and doing chores around the house together, etc. will go a long way in building
our commitment and love for each other.
Prayer:
Father
God, we rely on You to teach us to depend on each other's strengths, and to
accept one another's weaknesses. Help us to understand and tolerate the issues
that irritate us about one another - show us why these behaviors affect us in
this way so that we can heal. Remind us to look for ways to promote serenity
and joy in our marriage.
You
use marriage to teach us patience and compassion for others and not to live
with our focus on our self; however, give us the wisdom to communicate our
needs to each other without causing conflict (James 1:19, 3:8; Proverbs 12:18).
Help us to make our home a haven for our mate, rather than a hotbed of
conflict. Your strength is made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9).
Thought
for the Day:
Marriage
often exposes our flaws so that we can go to God for healing, and for courage
to change our perspective until we are more like-minded to meet our conflicts
and negative circumstances in unity.
