The Tyranny of Control

"Control Freaks" develop this habit out of fear and a desire to stay safe. They were deeply wounded at one time by physical, verbal and mental abuse. They were not given a "say-so" in the decisions made that affected their life.

Therefore, they decided to take control as soon as they got older. Now they are hyper-vigilant and over-reacting in their approach to life. They believe that "their" way is the only safe way; and therefore, the best way to do things and to make decisions.

They vehemently fight against anyone or thing that threatens their carefully choreographed routine in life. They hide behind anger in order to stay in control and to feel safe.

Most wounded people will adopt a mindset of attempting to control everything about the people in their life too - even when another's decisions have no real effect on their life.

Our only hope of salvation from this demonic plague of fear, self-preservation and control is to realize that God has a perfect plan for our life. No matter what terrors we experience, God is with us in the midst of them, and worthy of all of our praise.

We can trust God with our life. No matter what terrors we experience, God is with us in the midst of them. His presence sustains us and provides for us. He is worthy of all of our praise.

With our confidence in God's faithfulness, we speak up only when someone's decision has an immediate bearing on our life, and we allow others reap the consequences of their own decisions. We mind our own business and pray for others.

We have our confidence in God alone, and that gives us peace and calm regardless of circumstances. We never insist on our own way, but we do insist on finding a Plan C when we and the significant people in our life cannot agree on their Plan A or our Plan B.

If they are unwilling to compromise their plans with us, then we give them the freedom to make their decisions; but then we prayerfully and calmly make our own decisions in order to keep our self safe from reaping the consequences of their decisions.

God has a perfect will for our life. We find it by praying without ceasing; we walk in it by walking in the Spirit, so we do not succumb to the idiosyncrasies and neurosis of our flesh (Galatians 5:15-25); and then, we reap the rewards of a life, which is faithful to His love and His will.

Prayer:

Father God, it is not natural for us humans to obey You or to rely on You from the depth of our heart. Our emotions are fickle and shallow at best. Yet, if we obey Your Biblical mandates, we prove that we love You and are willing to walk in Your ways.

If we surrender our will, desires, dreams and goals to Your Spirit's direction, and live in Your will each moment of our day, we live a fulfilled, spiritual and successful life. We will prosper mentally, emotionally, financially and physically as well (John 14:15).

Thought for the Day:

There is healing from this unresolved trauma in the presence of God and our Savior Jesus Christ; this world is dysfunctional and trials are inescapable, but surrendering the pain of the past to the Trinity for healing is the only way to get completely free from its tyranny in our life.

A Good Marriage - Love Languages

Marriage is about the union of two people - two families of people. It brings them together in a legally binding relationship which God intends to last a lifetime.

Life happens, though; the death of a spouse, or of the marriage, sidetracks our best intentions. Our negative emotions influence whether or not we can forgive each other, or if we harbor anger and resentment.

It is best to investigate right away whenever we feel anger toward our spouse. We cannot allow hurt, anger or bitterness to accumulate in our heart and erect walls between us and those who love us.

These negative emotions prevent unconditional love, appreciation and respect from growing in our marriage. Emotional stress added to the stresses of daily living will encourage the desire in us to escape from our marriage.

Satan will certainly, gladly provide us with the opportunity to destroy what God has joined together. Do not be surprised when controversy, disagreements and arguments erupt in your marriage.

These do not indicate a problem in the relationship; but merely a normal adjustment between two very different people. God puts opposites together so that we can stretch, grow, and learn from one another.

God desires that we appreciate one another's individual strengths, and that we allow them to overcome the weaknesses in each other. No one spouse has all the answers.

It is only as we really listen to one another, consider each other's opinions, feelings and needs - and then compromise our desires that we can find equitable solutions to the issues that will most certainly arise.

Our goal in any argument is never to run each other down, wound with critical words, bring up the past in a hurtful manner or stoop to abusive verbal or physical behavior.

We simply hash out our disagreements in an honest and harmonious manner, striving to find common ground, giving in on matters that are not really important to us, and standing firm about the things which mean the most to us.

Prayer:

Father God, You gave each of us a unique personality, made from genetics, upbringing, personality and learned qualities. Remind us that we all need to receive love in different ways: words of affirmation, physical or emotional attention, acts of service, romantic gifts and gestures, or a conglomeration of these. This special language is all our own and allows us to feel loved and nurtured by our spouse.

Help us to understand that if we withhold these gifts of affection from one another, we are undermining our relationship and sabotaging our marriage - setting our self up for a cold and distant existence. Yet if we shower each other with love, we are ensuring that our marriage will go the distance and last a lifetime.

Thought for the Day:

Everyone has their own unique love language that fulfills them and allows them to feel understood, appreciated and cherished; make it a point to ask your mate what his/her love language is and then give him/her expressions of that love some time during  every single day.

Visit:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com

God is Not Mocked

 

We often take our success for granted. We feel entitled to receive the rewards of all we accomplish, because we forget where our blessings actually come from or to show gratitude to God for His provision in our life.

We expect to live a pleasant life and to reap the rewards of our hard work and planning, regardless of our behavior. We even grow lax spiritually and compromise our holiness by dabbling in the devil's den of iniquity.

We can be sure, however, that our sin will find us out (Galatians 6:7; Numbers 32:23). We will eventually reap the destruction that we are sowing. Our quality of life may suddenly be jerked right out from under us as this devastation catches up with us.

We start to reap the rotten fruit, which is the result of the tainted seeds we planted in our garden of life for so long. We saw nothing wrong with our little indiscretions with Satan's suggestions, because we worked hard, provided for our family and lived for righteousness more than giving in to sin.

Yet, God will not be mocked, and evil corrupts our good morals and grieves the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 15:33; Ephesians 4:30). God will not endure our disobedience forever. There comes a time when we have to pay the dues of our corrupt flirting with sin.

We may experience God's discipline in small, compassionate ways, which brings our repentance; or we may harden our heart and continue in immorality until we eventually lose the blessings of God on our life, which we are used to experiencing.

We tend to get angry with God at times like these, railing against Him for expecting us to walk uprightly before Him all the time, comparing our self to the lives of other people rather to understand God's requirements that we live a holy life before Him (Luke 12:48).

If we stand firm in our pride and resist the Spirit's drawing, we will sink lower and lower into the mire of destruction and wickedness, continuing to blame others for our behavior and making excuses for our thoughts, words and deeds.

However, if we surrender to God's discipline, humble our pride and accept our fault in the circumstances, repenting with our entire soul and spirit for our duplicity, then God can favor us with His blessings once more.

Prayer:

Father God, human pride and self-assurance are snares of the enemy. You show us in Your Word how You want us to live our life. Unless we walk justly and love mercy and walk humbly before You, we will reap the corruption of our sin regardless of how inconsequential that we consider it to be (Micah 6:8).

Draw us close to You, never let us go, restore to us the joy of our salvation and help us to lay down our sins so we can hear You rejoicing over us with singing (James 4:8; Psalm 51:12; Zephaniah 3:17). Never allow us to grow so lax in our spiritual walk that we compromise Your values.

Thought for the Day:

When we choose to enjoy the momentary pleasures of sin, we set our self up for the loss of God's blessings in our life; sin is ultimately destructive and always leads to disparaging times of injury for us. - Hebrews 11:25