A Happy Marriage - Simplifying Life

 

Happily ever after is a misnomer. Marriage is tough by any standards. Some marriages are better than others, but we all struggle with disagreements from time to time. Let's face it, we even frequently argue with our self.

Arguing is not really a negative issue. It is how we argue that makes it a problem. We can mildly disagree, vehemently disagree or destructively disagree. These destructive fights tear the fabric of our marriage, which affects our society as a whole.

Family life is stressful at best and almost impossible at its worst. We allow our children to be involved in more activities than they can bear, which puts a strain on the whole family.

Attempting to watch 4 different ball games played by 4 different children at 4 different gyms or parks all played at the same time is an example of the crazy conflicts that can stress us out.

The best rule of thumb is to sign up our children for one extra-curricular activity at a time, and to make sure that their schedules do not conflict. If they are interested in various hobbies and venues, this will be so much easier.

The financial strain on marriages today is enough to break the back of the strongest couple. With both partners working fulltime, the stress of homemaking and child rearing is also daunting, especially if everyone needs their own room, TV and smart phone.

Simplifying life can be overwhelming, but will drastically reduce the amount of stress on the family. With a more fluid schedule, we have more time to enjoy each other's company.

Spending time together allows relationships to evolve on the same level and in more mutually satisfying ways. We weather the shifting winds of life as a family rather than alone.

Staying healthy emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually demands that we follow God's will for our individual and corporate life. He has a perfect plan that sustains us through troubled waters and allows these trials to strengthen rather than to dissolve our relationships.

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that the only way to achieve lasting peace and joy in our life is to follow Your Spirit's direction each moment of the day. As we increase our intimacy with You, our intimacy with others improves as well. Teach us to keep our focus on our own fallacies and idiosyncrasies rather than allowing our spouse's issues to take precedence in our mind.

Remind us that we tend to blow their faults out of proportion unless we humbly compare them with our own flaws. Please change us from the inside out; keep us healthy in body, soul and spirit; strengthen us as individuals, a family and a society. Allow us to be that shining beacon of light to help others avoid the jagged rocks on the coastline of life. Help us to continually work on changing one aspect of our life at a time that will improve our relationships.

Thought for the Day:

As we take a searching moral inventory and decide what will make us more fulfilled as a Christian and as an individual, we will strengthen our personal life, our marriage and our family unit, and insure that we can better respond to the grace of God in the midst of every conflict.

A Good Marriage - Love Languages

Marriage is about the union of two people - two families of people. It brings them together in a legally binding relationship which God intends to last a lifetime.

Life happens, though; the death of a spouse, or of the marriage, sidetracks our best intentions. Our negative emotions influence whether or not we can forgive each other, or if we harbor anger and resentment.

It is best to investigate right away whenever we feel anger toward our spouse. We cannot allow hurt, anger or bitterness to accumulate in our heart and erect walls between us and those who love us.

These negative emotions prevent unconditional love, appreciation and respect from growing in our marriage. Emotional stress added to the stresses of daily living will encourage the desire in us to escape from our marriage.

Satan will certainly, gladly provide us with the opportunity to destroy what God has joined together. Do not be surprised when controversy, disagreements and arguments erupt in your marriage.

These do not indicate a problem in the relationship; but merely a normal adjustment between two very different people. God puts opposites together so that we can stretch, grow, and learn from one another.

God desires that we appreciate one another's individual strengths, and that we allow them to overcome the weaknesses in each other. No one spouse has all the answers.

It is only as we really listen to one another, consider each other's opinions, feelings and needs - and then compromise our desires that we can find equitable solutions to the issues that will most certainly arise.

Our goal in any argument is never to run each other down, wound with critical words, bring up the past in a hurtful manner or stoop to abusive verbal or physical behavior.

We simply hash out our disagreements in an honest and harmonious manner, striving to find common ground, giving in on matters that are not really important to us, and standing firm about the things which mean the most to us.

Prayer:

Father God, You gave each of us a unique personality, made from genetics, upbringing, personality and learned qualities. Remind us that we all need to receive love in different ways: words of affirmation, physical or emotional attention, acts of service, romantic gifts and gestures, or a conglomeration of these. This special language is all our own and allows us to feel loved and nurtured by our spouse.

Help us to understand that if we withhold these gifts of affection from one another, we are undermining our relationship and sabotaging our marriage - setting our self up for a cold and distant existence. Yet if we shower each other with love, we are ensuring that our marriage will go the distance and last a lifetime.

Thought for the Day:

Everyone has their own unique love language that fulfills them and allows them to feel understood, appreciated and cherished; make it a point to ask your mate what his/her love language is and then give him/her expressions of that love some time during  every single day.

Visit:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com

Hidden with Christ in God - Part 1 - My Initial Reaction

When I first read the words, "hidden with Christ in God", I was angry. It was not until my mid-forties that I discovered my true self; and I was not willing to give up my new found autonomy and be demoted and hidden in the background once again.

I had just learned, from the loving tutelage of my employer, that I am a person too and that I have rights and privileges that no one prior to this point, myself included, had ever allowed me to enjoy.

My father was autocratic and bombastic by nature (the Italian Mafia type). Due to my insecurities, fears and codependent attitude, I taught my friends and extended family to treat me as an appendage rather than as a viable member of their society. I lived like a doormat most of the time.

Then, out of nowhere, when I reached my limit of patience or was extremely wounded by someone's treatment of me, I used anger to attempt to wrestle away from others their control over my life. This often left them puzzled, resentful and wounded in return.

Therefore, when I read that verse in the Bible, I did not want to be hidden away again. I had no desire to give up the ground I gained when I realized my freedom as a person to be accepted, listened to and part of the decisions made concerning my life.

As I prayed about this verse, God showed me that He wants us to be hidden with Christ in Him, because He desires that we live in constant fellowship with Him, intimately knowing Him and Christ whom He sent (John 17:3).

He wants His rivers of living water to flow in us, through us and out of us and upon everyone we come in contact with throughout our day (John 7:38). He changes the course of lives through Christ in us.

I knew that I could ultimately trust God with every aspect of my life, so I totally submitted to His desire to hide me with Christ in Him (Isaiah 57:15). I want Him to use all of me, holding nothing back from Him, to further His Kingdom in the earth.

Prayer:

Father God, as You search our heart, You understand the motives behind our thoughts, words and actions (1 Chronicles 28:9). Your ways and thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). As we trust in You, we come to realize that in times of stress and trials, You hide us with Christ in You.

This is not a negative concept to belittle us or to force us to abandon our true self, but it is actually teaching us that our true identity is in Christ alone. Thank You for revealing Yourself to us (Psalm 18:2; 62:6; Exodus 33:22). Help us to live as imitators of Christ, as Your beloved children (Ephesians 5:1; 1 Corinthians 11:1).

Thought for the Day:

Our Rock of Ages is ever present to help us in our time of need, but if we only seek His provision, we will never be happy; however, if we seek Him and His presence in our life, we will live a fulfilled life regardless of our circumstances.
- Isaiah 26:4