A Good Marriage - The Little Foxes that Spoil the Vine

Over the years of marriage, we recognize who our partner is and what they are not. We also develop a better understanding of our self and why we respond to people and events the way we do.

We come to identify what triggers negative reactions in one another, so we can avoid these issues whenever possible. We make concentrated efforts on working together to find mutually acceptable plans when our original personal preferences conflict.

We also fearlessly attack our personal issues and give the Holy Spirit full reign in our life, so that He can transform us with the mind of Christ. One way to recognize our faults is to pay attention to what our spouse complains about - do we procrastinate, withhold affection, watch too much TV, neglect to help one another with projects or daily chores?

Small adjustments in our schedule or habits will make a big difference in marital bliss and harmony. We can learn one another's love language and show each other love in ways that will fulfill our mate's needs and allow them to feel nurtured and cherished.

This will erase the small irritations which eventually erupt into major disharmony - the little foxes that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15). Do we expect too much from one another, forgetting that we are only human?

Do we greet one another as we would our best friend, or do we take one another for granted? We all appreciate being greeted with enthusiasm as someone who is highly cherished.

Do we agree to disagree or do we always feel like we are right and our partner is wrong? Do we need to have the last word, or do we stop talking when we have made our point?

No one likes to live with condemnation, condescension, griping or constant belittlement. It is so good and pleasant when we dwell together in harmony (Psalm 133:1). This unity draws us closer to one another and makes us want to spend more time together. 

Prayer:

Father God, teach us to recap once we calm down after a disagreement. Help us to honestly relate how we felt during the "fight" and what thoughts were going through our mind that we did not take the time to articulate. These thoughts fueled our emotional response during our discussion, and our spouse deserves to understand why we reacted as we did to their comment, behavior or reply.

Remind us to seek You in all of our decisions and discussions; not to rely on our own understanding, but to allow You to direction our thoughts, words and actions. Help us to be led by Your Spirit rather than to react in our flesh; but if we do act carnally, encourage us to ask for forgiveness from one another and to calmly discuss the situation until we find an equitable solution.

Thought for the Day:

Looking into each other's eyes during a discussion enables us to see within the windows of each other's soul; speaking honestly about how our partner's words and actions make us feel will help us to understand one another better too and to make our interactions more intimate and productive. - Matthew 6:22-23

A Good Marriage - Draw Together or Pull Apart

 

 

Marriage is designed by God, but is usually an uphill battle. When we put two or more people together, there is inevitably conflict of some sort. Let's face it, we often cannot even get along with our self, much less with other people.

Life happens, challenges arise and situations change. These often attack our marriage as well. Not only do we have to adjust, but we have to bear the consequences of our spouse's attempting to adjust as well.

If we face life's challenges together as a unit, we can change and adapt together and at the same time. This makes for a much smoother transition. When we include God in the decisions and problem solving efforts, He works out everything for our ultimate good (Romans 8:28; Ecclesiastes 4:12).

God saw that man was alone and this was not good. So He created marriage to bless us and to lighten our load in life. He helps us to enjoy our marriage rather than to endure it. He provides faultless fruition for every need. 

This requires that we spend time together as a couple, unified in the Spirit and with one another in prayer. God never promises us a window into our future, but He does promise to walk with us and in us through its challenges.

Taking advantage of our days off, vacation times, free week-ends, and an occasional afternoon or evening without prior commitments, we can make time to watch a movie together, listen to a political debate, follow our favorite team on the sport's channel, read a book together, snuggle beneath the sheets, have dinner at a restaurant instead of at home, join friends for coffee and dessert, etc.

In Christ, we find joy in our marriage partner and solace in their care for us. We find fulfillment in helping them to fulfill their needs as God supplies us with everything we need. We enjoy life with the mate He gives to us (Ecclesiastes 9:7, 9).

Prayer:

Father God, life is never, ever easy; but You make all things possible as we have faith in Your faithfulness. You have arms long enough to save us and ears that always hear our cries (Isaiah 59:1; 1 John 5:15). Help us to commit every moment to You, rather than to follow our own path in life.

Everything You do remains forever (Ecclesiastes 3:14). As we walk in obedience to Your Spirit, we reap the rewards of righteousness rather than the consequences of our sin and disobedience. Remind us to draw together as a couple and to lean on You for strength to face life's challenges.

 

Thought for the Day:

Let us make a conscious effort to add more romance to our marriage; to put an end to pessimism, skepticism, criticism, etc; and to deal with negative emotions before they get deep seated in our soul - confessing our sins to God and to one another.

Faithful God in Negative Circumstances

 

Negative emotions are God's red flags to alert us to some negative aspect in our life. Maybe we failed to obey the Lord and are now reaping the consequences of living outside of His will.

Possibly, we neglected our own needs or are taking things that other people say or do too personally. There may be an unresolved conflict in our soul that is piggy backing on some current event.

Pray about the negative emotion. What are the words in your mind associated with that feeling? These are clues to the source of the problem. Then ask God to reveal His truth about the situation.

We may have erected an idol in our life and God is using the circumstances to dethrone it from its position. Surrendering the issue to the Lord, who cares about every aspect that affects our body our soul and spirit, will put things into a proper perspective.

As we trust God to work out these issues with His victory, He will give us His peace and joy in the midst of them. We relinquish our will to His and enjoy His many blessings.

God's guidance always brings us inner peace, even if we do not like what we must do. With Christ in us, we experience true contentment all through the day (Philippians 4:12). We give thanks to God, even for the negative aspects we face, knowing that He will work out all of them for our good (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Romans 8:28).

Prayer:

Father God, You are our sanctuary and strength, our constant protector and provider, especially in times of trouble (Psalm 46:1). Due to Your dynamite power within us, we are no longer slaves to sin, but bond servants of the Living Lord (Romans 6:6; 2 Timothy 2:24).

Those who hurt us will fade like the grass and die away, because we trust in You (Psalm 37:1-5). Your promises protect our life (Psalm 119:50). You keep us in perfect peace as we keep our focus on You regardless of the people and circumstances around us (Isaiah 26:3).

Thought for the Day:

We rejoice in the Lord in the midst of our trials as we trust God’s faithfulness and obey the leading of His Spirit; we relinquish the need for human understanding and we acknowledge and accomplish His will for each moment throughout the day. - James 1:2; Proverbs 3:5-6