A Good Marriage - The Little Foxes that Spoil the Vine

Over the years of marriage, we recognize who our partner is and what they are not. We also develop a better understanding of our self and why we respond to people and events the way we do.

We come to identify what triggers negative reactions in one another, so we can avoid these issues whenever possible. We make concentrated efforts on working together to find mutually acceptable plans when our original personal preferences conflict.

We also fearlessly attack our personal issues and give the Holy Spirit full reign in our life, so that He can transform us with the mind of Christ. One way to recognize our faults is to pay attention to what our spouse complains about - do we procrastinate, withhold affection, watch too much TV, neglect to help one another with projects or daily chores?

Small adjustments in our schedule or habits will make a big difference in marital bliss and harmony. We can learn one another's love language and show each other love in ways that will fulfill our mate's needs and allow them to feel nurtured and cherished.

This will erase the small irritations which eventually erupt into major disharmony - the little foxes that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15). Do we expect too much from one another, forgetting that we are only human?

Do we greet one another as we would our best friend, or do we take one another for granted? We all appreciate being greeted with enthusiasm as someone who is highly cherished.

Do we agree to disagree or do we always feel like we are right and our partner is wrong? Do we need to have the last word, or do we stop talking when we have made our point?

No one likes to live with condemnation, condescension, griping or constant belittlement. It is so good and pleasant when we dwell together in harmony (Psalm 133:1). This unity draws us closer to one another and makes us want to spend more time together. 

Prayer:

Father God, teach us to recap once we calm down after a disagreement. Help us to honestly relate how we felt during the "fight" and what thoughts were going through our mind that we did not take the time to articulate. These thoughts fueled our emotional response during our discussion, and our spouse deserves to understand why we reacted as we did to their comment, behavior or reply.

Remind us to seek You in all of our decisions and discussions; not to rely on our own understanding, but to allow You to direction our thoughts, words and actions. Help us to be led by Your Spirit rather than to react in our flesh; but if we do act carnally, encourage us to ask for forgiveness from one another and to calmly discuss the situation until we find an equitable solution.

Thought for the Day:

Looking into each other's eyes during a discussion enables us to see within the windows of each other's soul; speaking honestly about how our partner's words and actions make us feel will help us to understand one another better too and to make our interactions more intimate and productive. - Matthew 6:22-23

Daily Details

 

I have 1001 details to attend to every single day - well, that may be a slight exaggeration. At times, I feel like I am drowning in them. They wash over me and force me down into their depths.

As a young adult, I learned to make lists of my daily details every night before I went to bed. This helped me to stop thinking about them, so that my mind would shut off and I could fall asleep quicker.

I prioritized them and made sure that I had everything staged to achieve them as quickly and efficiently as possible. The next day, I crossed the chores off the list as I accomplished them.

I felt a sense of fulfillment and pride as the list got shorter by the hour. However, there were always items left on the list at the end of the day. Therefore, I added the new details to them that night and prioritized them for the next day.

My life was ruled by those lists, except when unexpected interruptions caused me to abandon the index and deal with that issue before referring back to my detailed catalogue of chores.

As I learned to walk in the Spirit, I continued to make the list, but not to prioritize the items. I listened to the Spirit and checked off the chores as He led me to deal with them. The list got shorter much quicker that way.

Over the years, I stopped making the lists altogether. I learned to listen to the Spirit each moment of the day and to obey His prompting for each one of them. I found that I accomplished more during the day than ever before.

Sometimes, God's Spirit would lead me to do several things at once, and also point out to me details that I would have forgotten to jot down on my list. I went to bed at night with my mind clear and no agenda hovering over me to control my next day.

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for the leading of Your Holy Spirit, which keeps us in the center of Your will through the mundane moments of our daily life. Sometimes, I still get overwhelmed by the magnitude of details that are my responsibility in a short day's time; and as I age, they bother me more often. However, thank You for freeing me from the demon of perfectionism, and for helping me to simplify my life by forsaking the details that are actually not important.

Now, I can expect less of me and more from You. You work out even the tiniest issues and the most challenging details by Your Spirit, and You often do this without any help from me. You are amazing, God, and I thank You for adopting me into Your family and giving me the privileges as Your child in both this world and the next.

Thought for the Day:

There are no more unexpected interruptions in my day, because I learned to expect the unexpected as I follow the Spirit's guidance throughout each moment; accomplishing more than mere human effort could ever produce, I experienced the wonder of His work in and through me. 

- Proverbs 3:5-6

On Mission for Christ

The church is not a building, a social club or a charitable organization. It is a world-wide Body of Believers with various functions on Mission for Christ. We each have an appointed job to do for the glory of our King (Ephesians 2:10, 4:1).

We are not on this earth to amass worldly goods, but to be a missionary for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. God may give us the ability to acquire money, but it is to use for His Kingdom rather than our own pleasures.

Are you going to the grocery store? There is a divine appointment waiting for you there. Are you attending a ball game for one of your children or grandchildren? God has someone there who needs the Christ in you.

Our place of employment, neighborhood and community are our mission field. If nothing else, we can hand out our Sunday bulletin and invite someone to join us next week for a service.

If our focus is inward, our ministry team or church will self-destruct. We will develop an exclusivity mentality where other people are not welcome and growth of any kind is resisted. Backbiting, gossip and disgruntlement will grow.

Petty differences and self-centered desires will take the place of God's will for our church. We become at ease in Zion (Amos 6:1). We push God and His purposes right out of our church life, as well as our personal life.

We spend more money and time on our own pursuits than on God's calling for our life. Our focus is on having a good time and being happy rather than laying down our life and taking up our daily cross (1 John 3:16; Luke 9:23).

Our eternal reward is limited because we only seek our own pleasure during this lifetime. We want nothing to do with sacrifice or doing anything hard or unpleasant for the Lord. We might contribute toward paying for someone else to do the disagreeable chores, but we cannot be bothered.

Each small group in the Church, each ministry group like singles, seniors, or men's or women's Bible study needs a mission, as well as a time of fellowship and outings to enjoy each other's company. Let's consult God in all we say and do (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Prayer:

Father God, give us a heart of flesh in place of our heart of stone (Ezekiel 36:26). Make us a Kingdom-minded army of Believers who would rather serve You and share our testimony and Your Word with the world around us than to seek this world's riches and pleasures for our own benefit.

Prick our conscience when we get off track and focus on our self, our next vacation or the purchase of our next expensive toy; so that we do not lose our heavenly rewards. If we do not obey Your will for our life, we will have no spiritual fruit or righteous deeds. We will stand naked and ashamed at our wedding feast with King Jesus (Revelation 3:18, 19:8). 

Thought for the Day:

Christ is our whole life (Colossians 3:4); so, develop a mission-minded purpose for your life and pursue the things of God rather than what the flesh, the world and the devil have to offer; the good things in life rob us of the rewards we would receive if we focused instead on the best things, which God calls us to do.