A Good Marriage - The Little Foxes that Spoil the Vine

Over the years of marriage, we recognize who our partner is and what they are not. We also develop a better understanding of our self and why we respond to people and events the way we do.

We come to identify what triggers negative reactions in one another, so we can avoid these issues whenever possible. We make concentrated efforts on working together to find mutually acceptable plans when our original personal preferences conflict.

We also fearlessly attack our personal issues and give the Holy Spirit full reign in our life, so that He can transform us with the mind of Christ. One way to recognize our faults is to pay attention to what our spouse complains about - do we procrastinate, withhold affection, watch too much TV, neglect to help one another with projects or daily chores?

Small adjustments in our schedule or habits will make a big difference in marital bliss and harmony. We can learn one another's love language and show each other love in ways that will fulfill our mate's needs and allow them to feel nurtured and cherished.

This will erase the small irritations which eventually erupt into major disharmony - the little foxes that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15). Do we expect too much from one another, forgetting that we are only human?

Do we greet one another as we would our best friend, or do we take one another for granted? We all appreciate being greeted with enthusiasm as someone who is highly cherished.

Do we agree to disagree or do we always feel like we are right and our partner is wrong? Do we need to have the last word, or do we stop talking when we have made our point?

No one likes to live with condemnation, condescension, griping or constant belittlement. It is so good and pleasant when we dwell together in harmony (Psalm 133:1). This unity draws us closer to one another and makes us want to spend more time together. 

Prayer:

Father God, teach us to recap once we calm down after a disagreement. Help us to honestly relate how we felt during the "fight" and what thoughts were going through our mind that we did not take the time to articulate. These thoughts fueled our emotional response during our discussion, and our spouse deserves to understand why we reacted as we did to their comment, behavior or reply.

Remind us to seek You in all of our decisions and discussions; not to rely on our own understanding, but to allow You to direction our thoughts, words and actions. Help us to be led by Your Spirit rather than to react in our flesh; but if we do act carnally, encourage us to ask for forgiveness from one another and to calmly discuss the situation until we find an equitable solution.

Thought for the Day:

Looking into each other's eyes during a discussion enables us to see within the windows of each other's soul; speaking honestly about how our partner's words and actions make us feel will help us to understand one another better too and to make our interactions more intimate and productive. - Matthew 6:22-23

His Cherished Treasure

 

Husbands, did you know that if you do not treat your wife with consideration and respect as heirs with you of God’s merciful gift of eternal life, that your prayers may be hindered? (1 Peter 3:7) 

God made women, so He knows how emotional, unpredictable and irrational we can be sometimes. That is why He gave men this cautionary advice. 

The wise husband makes his wife his priority second only to God. He provides her with love, acceptance and a secure home environment. If he does, then she will never doubt his love for her. 

She will see it in his eyes, in his tone of voice, in his caring touch and in the amount of time he wants to spend with her. She is his most cherished treasure and is highly valued in his esteem.

Every human being has a love language. We often love others the way we want to be loved. However, if your mate’s, child’s or grandchild’s love language is not the same as yours, then they will not be impressed by your expressions of affection toward them. 

Some people enjoy gifts and others prefer physical touch, quality time, acts of service and/or words of affirmation. Take the time to discover the love languages of the people God gave you to love ( http://www.5lovelanguages.com ).  
Give your loved ones continual expressions of love and devotion throughout the day. Many couples have a date night, which is admirable and something to look forward to; however, do not limit your time together to once a week. 

Spend little increments of time together throughout the day. Maybe a shared lunch, family time after a dinner eaten together, a gift for no reason at all, a compliment for a job well done, a 15 minute snuggle, a walk in the park, a repair of that leaky faucet, a note tucked away in an obvious nook, a bike ride to a favorite place, taking her car to get it serviced or spending a few hours together walking on the beach. The possibilities are actually limitless. 

Prayer:

Father God, remind us that You created marriage (Genesis 2:22). We dishonor You when we allow Satan to destroy the love You place in our hearts for one another. 

In today’s easy divorce society, we are not expected to work through the hard times and communicate with one another about what we really need and how we really feel. Remind us to lay our life down for each other as Christ did for us.

Thought for the Day:

Nurture your romantic urges and express them often. This is not a stilted requirement, but a spontaneous expression of your love and devotion.

Purpose in Prayer

 

Communicating with God is called prayer. It is one of the most misunderstood disciplines of the faith. Most people use prayer to request, command, dictate, and order God to do their bidding according to their human will. Then they wonder why their prayers never get answered! Some use it as a last resort, or as a lifeline during a time of emergency. Conversely, a few realize that pray is the expression of our love and devotion to our Heavenly Father.

Prayer is actually God’s love language. He delights in communing with His Saints (Psalm 37:4). Prayer is our continual connection to receive wisdom, direction and encouragement from the throne of God. Once we realize that all things are possible in our relationship with God (Matthew 1:26), our faith and trust in Him grows. Our continual communication with God throughout the day blesses Him and connects us to His Spirit (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We pray in humility, wanting His will in all things (Matthew 6:10).

Surrendering our will, goals and ambitions to His will for our life comes easily after a while. We stop requesting carnal blessings and we spend more time praising Him in prayer than we do in making requests for our own needs and desires. We love Him with all of our mind, heart, soul and strength (Mark 12:30), and He meets all of our needs according to His glorious riches (Philippians 4:19).

Jesus taught His disciples the key elements of prayer through what we title, “The Lord’s Prayer”:

1. We acknowledge our relationship:

“Our Father, who are in Heaven…”

2. We glorify His name:

“Hallowed be Thy name…”

3. We affirm His Kingdom and we pray for His will:

“Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven…”

4. We request His provision for our day:

“Give us this day our daily bread…”

5. We confess our sins, as we daily forgive the slights of others against us:

“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who trespass against us…”

6. We applause His attributes, and we recognize His Kingdom and His amazing power and majesty:

“For Thine is the Kingdom, the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.”

God looks forward to opportunities to bless those who seek Him (2 Chronicles 16:9, Psalm 34:15, Proverbs 15:3; Amos 9:8; 1 Peter 3:12; Ephesians 3:20).