A Good Marriage - The Little Foxes that Spoil the Vine

Over the years of marriage, we recognize who our partner is and what they are not. We also develop a better understanding of our self and why we respond to people and events the way we do.

We come to identify what triggers negative reactions in one another, so we can avoid these issues whenever possible. We make concentrated efforts on working together to find mutually acceptable plans when our original personal preferences conflict.

We also fearlessly attack our personal issues and give the Holy Spirit full reign in our life, so that He can transform us with the mind of Christ. One way to recognize our faults is to pay attention to what our spouse complains about - do we procrastinate, withhold affection, watch too much TV, neglect to help one another with projects or daily chores?

Small adjustments in our schedule or habits will make a big difference in marital bliss and harmony. We can learn one another's love language and show each other love in ways that will fulfill our mate's needs and allow them to feel nurtured and cherished.

This will erase the small irritations which eventually erupt into major disharmony - the little foxes that spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15). Do we expect too much from one another, forgetting that we are only human?

Do we greet one another as we would our best friend, or do we take one another for granted? We all appreciate being greeted with enthusiasm as someone who is highly cherished.

Do we agree to disagree or do we always feel like we are right and our partner is wrong? Do we need to have the last word, or do we stop talking when we have made our point?

No one likes to live with condemnation, condescension, griping or constant belittlement. It is so good and pleasant when we dwell together in harmony (Psalm 133:1). This unity draws us closer to one another and makes us want to spend more time together. 

Prayer:

Father God, teach us to recap once we calm down after a disagreement. Help us to honestly relate how we felt during the "fight" and what thoughts were going through our mind that we did not take the time to articulate. These thoughts fueled our emotional response during our discussion, and our spouse deserves to understand why we reacted as we did to their comment, behavior or reply.

Remind us to seek You in all of our decisions and discussions; not to rely on our own understanding, but to allow You to direction our thoughts, words and actions. Help us to be led by Your Spirit rather than to react in our flesh; but if we do act carnally, encourage us to ask for forgiveness from one another and to calmly discuss the situation until we find an equitable solution.

Thought for the Day:

Looking into each other's eyes during a discussion enables us to see within the windows of each other's soul; speaking honestly about how our partner's words and actions make us feel will help us to understand one another better too and to make our interactions more intimate and productive. - Matthew 6:22-23

Searching Moral Inventory

A searching moral inventory is an intense evaluation of the thoughts, words and actions in our life at any moment of time. This is a very helpful practice, because it rids us of negative issues, which plague our life.

We ask God to search us and to examine our heart as if it is on trial, so that we can see if there are any wicked intents in our thoughts, which God needs to heal and redirect (Psalm 139:23).

The cauldron filters silver and the furnace refines gold in the same way that the Lord purifies the hearts of His people (Proverbs 17:3). He sanctifies our soul, so that we can speak as one approved and entrusted by God to share His Gospel message.

It is in our best interest to walk uprightly before the Lord, blameless before Him and in our testimony to the world (Job 31:6). We no longer need anyone else's approval, because God's opinion of us is all that really matters (1 Thessalonians 2:4; Psalm 26:2).

We cannot always know our hidden faults and failings, but God's Spirit will bring them to our attention if we take the time to listen (Psalm 7:9, 19:12). A searching moral inventory reveals negative emotions, thoughts of regret and revenge, as well as shameful deeds for which we need to make amends.

It will relieve repressed stress and it will cause new stress until we repent and surrender control of our life to God. Once we fearlessly confront our issues and submit our self to God's healing scalpel, we are free from the bondage in which the past held us captive all of our life (Hebrews 4:12).

When we commit our ways to the Lord, He judges us righteously, tests our heart and metes out vengeance on those who misjudge us. He rewards each of us according to what our deeds deserve (Jeremiah 11:20; 17:10, 20:12).

We confess the root cause of the destructive behavior, which once dominated our life and God sets us free to live in His victorious grace and love. We mend relationships and are ready to face the future in the center of God's will - the happiest place on earth.

Prayer:

Father God, at times we are afraid to search our heart too closely. We know that there are wicked thoughts, desires and attitudes lurking in the dark corners of our soul. We are often afraid of these emotions; preferring to ignore them rather than to ferret them out, discover their cause and find a resolution to these unresolved conflicts.

Help us to bless those who hurt and curse us, and to allow You to take vengeance on these ignorant people who do not realize to whom we belong. You are the King of the galaxies and You ride the wings of the wind to come to the aid of all of those who trust in You (Psalm 104:3).

Thought for the Day:

Let us take a frequent searching moral inventory of our soul, to repent of our sins, to return to the everlasting arms of the Lord from which we strayed and to ensure His blessings on our life both now and in eternity.

- Lamentations 3:40

There is No Condemnation

 

 

Satan loves to use condemnation to defeat God’s Saints. His condemnation causes us to sink into the quicksand of shame with no visible way out. We see our faults and are burdened by our failings. Satan plants lies in our soul during each perceived failing; and we readily believe them, because of our feelings of hopelessness.

 

God, on the other hand, does not condemn us, He convicts us. Conviction reveals our guilt with a desire for repentance. Repentance means to turn away from sin and move toward holiness. Even if we never commit some gross sin of immorality or murder, we are still sinners (Romans 3:23). No amount of good works or self-effort can free us from the penalty of our sins.

 

Trusting in Jesus is our only means of salvation (John 14:6). His Holy Spirit breathes God’s breath of life into us and our spirit is no longer dead in sin. We completely surrendered our goals, dreams and aspiration in life to God’s will for us (Ephesians 2:10). We serve God with authentic devotion each moment of the day. We no longer desire a life of worldly pursuits and willful sin.

 

God’s Spirit converts our sinful nature to the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16). We realize that God’s presence is within us and the Holy Spirit is sanctifying us. We are truly saved from hell and going to heaven (2 Corinthians 13:5-6; Lamentations 3:40-42). God removes our condemnation by washing us as clean as snow, and giving us a new heart and spirit within us (Ezekiel 36:25-27). 

 

Prayer:

Father God, thank You for washing us clean, and giving us righteous desires and Your Spirit to direct us (Colossians 2:13-15). Thank You also that Jesus nailed our sins to the cross and blotted out the charges proved against us. Remind us not to live for You in our human effort. Help us to allow Christ to richly dwell in us as Your Body, so that whatever we do in word or deeds, it is all done for Your glory and honor (Colossians 3:16-18).

 

Thought for the Day:

God took away Satan's power over our life and openly displayed to the whole world the triumph of Christ over Him; so that there is no longer any condemnation for those who love God and who are called to serve Him in His purpose for our life. – Romans 8:1; Colossians 2:15