Two-Stepping

Our Christian walk is a two-step process. We start by repenting of our former way of life, which was degraded by Satan's lies and earthly desires (Ephesians 4:22). Each of us is distracted by various sinful elements.

Some of us lie, but God calls us to speak truth; or we steal and take what does not belong to us, yet God calls us to work and earn money to buy what we need, as well as to share with others (Ephesians 4:25, 28).

Some have trouble with anger; and though it is a God given emotion, we often harbor grudges, while God encourages us to forgive before the sun sets each day, so that we do not give Satan entry into our soul (Ephesians 4:26-27).

Other people use foul language, when God wants us to use our words to edify and minister grace to those who hear us. Some even take God's name in vain and use degrading words, which grieve God's Spirit (Ephesians 4:29-30).

All of us give in at one time or another to bitterness, quarreling, gossip, antagonism and forms of cruelty, when God calls us to live with humility, compassion, patience, gentleness and kindness, as we forgive slights and wrongs just as God forgives us (Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:10).

The second step is to renew our mind with the righteousness mind of Christ and to walk in true holiness all the days of our life (Luke 1:75; Ephesians 4:24). This may sound daunting, but Christ already did it for us.

We are buried with Christ through our baptism into His death, in order to be raised with Him from death in the glory of God, our Father. This allows us to live a fulfilled, blessed new life in Christ, as we exchange our corrupted character with the nature of Christ, promised to us by God Himself (2 Peter 1:4; Romans 6:4; Colossians 3:3-4).

Prayer:

Father God, by separating our self from the sin, which once bound us as its slave, we are freed from the law and allowed to serve You through Your Spirit, rather than by decrees and legalism (Romans 7:6). You enable us to submit to You as You transform our mind, rather than to be conformed to the design of this evil world.

We have no more desire to gratify the sinful desires of our flesh, and we walk as a new creation, Your handiwork, created in Christ to live in Your will, which You prepared for us prior to our birth (Ephesians 2:10; Romans 12:2, 13:14; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Colossians 3:10).

Thought for the Day:

My soul silently waits for God alone; my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my stronghold; I will never be shaken. - Psalm 62:1-2

The Power of Words

Our faith in God’s faithfulness allows us to trust that God knows exactly what He is doing, even if we do not understand His ways, which are so much wiser and deeper than our methods of thinking (Isaiah 55:8-9). When we stoop to entertain negative thoughts and words, we allow Satan to use us. For instance, God considers gossip as detrimental to us as lying, cursing and wrath.

Gossiping stirs up strife and starts a firestorm of controversy, whether purposely or accidentally. Tidbits of gossip are sweet to the talebearer’s lips, but they strike to the very heart of the unfortunate victim’s soul (Proverbs 26:20-22). The longer the tale is told, the more vicious and debilitating it becomes. If we refrain from gossiping, however, we quench the fires of contention and prevent arguments. 

God advises us to put off our old self and to allow His Spirit to renew our character into the image of our creator (Colossians 3:5-10). We listen to gossip with our ears, but it effects our emotions and self-esteem as well. Lies will create shame, distrust and fear in our soul. Satan convinces us that we are “not enough”, cripples us with self-doubt and debilitates, confuses and discourages us.

Therefore, it is important that we limit the words that enter and leave our mind and speak only graceful words that encourage others. Otherwise, we grieve God’s Spirit and wound our own soul and the soul of those in our life (Ephesians 4:29-30). God’s Word encourages us to stop entertaining bitterness, anger, dissension and slander; and instead, to be kind, forgiving and loving toward one another (Ephesians 4:31-32).

God’s love gives us affection for others, His joy births in us an exuberance for life, His peace permeates in us a deep serenity, His patience develops perseverance, His gentleness causes our heart to blossom with compassion and His goodness permits kindness to pervade our entire being. His meekness gives us the humility to live as a servant. His self-control helps us to be guided by His Spirit.

Prayer:

Father God, You forgave us and released us from the debt of sin we owed. This allows us to live by Your Spirit and to do the works, which You called us to do (Ephesians 2:10). Remind us that our tongue has the power of life and death in it (Proverbs 18:21).Your Spirit imparts His fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, meekness, goodness, self-control and faith into our life, so that You can use us for Your glory.  

Thought for the Day:

Words have an impact on our soul and influence our attitude, feelings and demeanor.

Silencing Rumors

Read:
Proverbs 10:11-21
Proverbs 15:1-7
James 3:1-12

“He who conceals hatred has lying lips, and he who spreads slander is a fool.” – Psalm 10:18

So many people try to lure me into gossip by using the guise of a prayer request. They give their lurid details of something they heard or saw and expect me to carry on the prattle. Have you ever noticed that the gossip often talks with his/her hand in front of their mouth and a sly smirk on their lips with their eyes rolling into the back of their head. They usually end the narration with a nervous little laugh that definately gives them away.

There are legitimate needs to share in prayer requests, and I am always glad to hear of them and to pray for them. I love to pray. I trust God to listen to my requests, and I see results from my prayers. I always end my requests with the words of the prayer that never fails, “Lord, Thy will be done.”

It’s the catty chitchat, which people bring to my attention, which distresses me. This mostly comes from hearsay and grows more sensational with each telling. By the time it gets to me, there are very few facts left and the truth is nowhere to be found!

I once heard a preacher say, “If you aren’t part of the problem or the solution, refuse to hear the tale about someone else.” I think those are very wise words. My pastor husband has a rule that when someone brings gossip to him, he immediately takes that person to the one being discussed. This often stops the rumor in its tracks, or it may even cause the gossiper to backpedal and refuse to go to the person at all.

If the facts of the allegation are substantiated, then we can pray for the request. If it is merely hearsay, then we have a moral obligation to dismiss the information and definitely not to repeat it. If we take this stand, then soon the gossipmongers will stop coming to us at all, which will relieve us of this burden. Prayerfully, they will also stop gossiping!

Prayer:
Lord Jesus, I have come to learn that when there are many words, transgression is unavoidable. Your Word tells me that it is wise to restrains my lips. I want to have the tongue of the righteous, which is as choice silver, because the heart of the wicked is worth little. Give me the lips of the righteous, so I may feed many. I do not want to die for lack of understanding as a fool (Proverbs 10: 19-21).

Thought for the Day:
If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. (James 3: 2b).

What IS a Pastor's Wife?????

A new Believer asked me this question…“What is a Pastor’s Wife?”

For over 40 years, I served as a Pastor’s wife; yet, the role is so varied and complicated that I did not have a simple answer to give her. Although the Bible is full of scripture pertaining to the Pastor, it says nothing definite about the topic of his wife.

Jesus calls all of us to a life of ridicule, abandonment, torture, prison and even death if necessary. A Pastor and his family are not exempt from this calling. If the Lord calls a man into the ministry, He also calls his wife and family. I am one flesh with my pastor-husband, and some people even call me, “Mrs. Pastor” or “Sister Kevin”. The main area of responsibility for any wife is to support and to submit to her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24).

One major difference from most people, however, is that the Pastor’s family is not allowed to work a 9:00-5:00 workday with week-ends free. The flock needs us "on call," at all hours of the day and night, seven days of the week. It is important to prioritize and to include some time in our schedule for personal reflection and relaxation; but there is usually something that comes up, which supersedes one or both of these priorities. The whole truth is that on the day I married my husband, I laid a “normal life” down on the altar of the ministry, and I watched it go up in smoke as a sacrifice to God. I have not regretted one moment of my life, however, because anything God calls us to do for Him, He supplies us with the desire and the power to do it (Philippians 2:13).

Sometimes, because a church is a microcosm of society, whether you live in the big city or in the country, you actually deal with many issues that are considered part of "small town life". Especially when you go to a new church, everyone is looking at you all the time, deciding whether or not they like you. They have very specific ideas on how you should spend your money, what you should wear, how you should fix your hair and whether or not you should get your nails done professionally. If your house is too nice, people will talk. If it's not nice enough, people will talk. Actually, they talk about everything and anything, which pertains to you and your family.

Church members also often like to talk to the Pastor’s wife about other church members. Therefore, it is important to use discretion and to say only nice things about people. Learning how to change topics quickly and gracefully is vitally important. For this reason, many Pastors’ wives despise committee meetings and women’s sewing circles. However, these are actually the perfect opportunities to share in decisions the church makes about your life, as well as to minister to the real needs of the individual, who happens to sit next to you.

In some churches in which we served over the years, I was compared to the wife of the previous pastor, who is always a paragon of virtue after she leaves. It took these churches time to love me for who I am, and to recognize the gifts and talents, which my husband and I brought to their church family. In other churches, the last pastor left under coercion with less than pleasant circumstances; therefore, the congregation transferred their hurt and mistrust to us; until God used us to bring about healing to their souls.

Making friends with members of the congregation can also be tricky. Some have ulterior motives and they want to control your time, your decisions and your sermon topics. They find it easier to criticize you and to expect you to support their pet events in the life of the church. Others want you to provide them with time for weekly gripe sessions, which they call counseling sessions. I even had a few young mothers who expected me to freely care for their children several times a week.

Most of the people, however, look out for your welfare. Sharing produce, helping with home repairs and giving gifts for birthdays and Christmas are common in some congregations and come as a special added blessing.

Since I had no real answer for her, this new Christian wanted to know, “Do you work?”

This was easier to answer. Yes, I work; but I do not get paid. I wear business casual clothes, but I do not punch a time card. I serve the public for over 50 hours a week, but I have no official job description. I get hand-me-down office equipment, I cannot afford my own car and I have no corner office with a window. I see things both from the pastoral position and from a member’s perspective, because I am also a member of the flock; yet I may not vote on any church issues. However, since I work for King Jesus, my job benefits are actually out of this world!

Then, she wanted to know “What exactly do you achieve?” This is another hard question to answer.

There are at least five differing sets of expectations of the Pastor and his wife from every new congregation, which no couple can possibly fulfill; yet no one has any idea about how to change this dilemma. In my years of serving as a Pastor’s wife, I have been expected to present visionary leadership as the director of the women’s ministries, or at least to attend all of their meetings; to function in some capacity as a teacher to the ladies or to children; to soothe the weary, protect the vulnerable, bind up the wounded, seek the lost and rescue the wandering. I am expected to know where the Pastor is at all times; so that I can tell any inquiring member where to find him.

Many Pastors’ wives run the Sunday school program, which I did at one time in my career. Some direct the choir, but with my lack of musical talent, our churches are glad I do not fill this role! Some plan all the church social events, which makes me break out in nervous hives, just thinking about doing that. I do have my special gifts and callings, however, and I try to stay within the parameter of God’s will for me in any church in which we serve.

I love to network! I connect people to other people and to places that can meet their needs. Just to name a few of the minor “miracles” God helped me to work in my lifetime: I find jobs, free furniture, future mates, best friends, free food, a new doctor and home assistance for people in need. Another talent and particular love for me is to mentor women, both younger and older. I love to listen and give sympathy, as well as empathy whenever I experienced the same malady they confide in me. I enjoy sharing the lessons I have learned in my life with women who are following in my spiritual footsteps. I also pass out our business cards, which have the plan of salvation included, to every new person that I meet. I invite them to call if they are ever in need of a friend, and to visit us at church whenever they have the time.

The best advice I could give to another Pastor’s wife is to talk with your husband in advance about the roles he expects you, as his wife, to fill in your current church. If he has unrealistic expectations, clarify how you feel about them and then suggest alternatives. Once you both agree, then he can help to protect you from the unreasonable expectations of some members of the congregation. Also, you will be more likely to be on the same page when challenges arise and to feel more content with your results when you agree on what roles are yours. If you know ahead of time what you feel called to do, then you can quickly volunteer for what you like to do. When a need arises in the church, which stresses you out or that you are uncomfortable with filling, then you can remind the congregant that you are already committed with other ministries and do not have the time to take on anything else.

Of course, the most important ministry of the Pastor’s Wife is to be the wife of the Pastor! I love, respect and admire my husband. I show this by speaking words of encouragement to counteract all of the doubts Satan sows in his mind throughout the day. I walk with him through every setback. I cheer him on through every victory. I laugh at his jokes – even those which make me look silly. I do not keep his long hours, but I do more than my fair share in order to help lessen his pressures. I always have a clean house, a stocked refrigerator, and clean, ironed clothes waiting for him each morning.

Overall, a Pastor and his family usually enjoy a very good experience in the churches to which they minister. I compare it to having a very big family looking out for you and caring for one another’s needs. My husband and I approach the ministry as something we do together, and that makes it very fulfilling for both of us. A spiritually active, outgoing pastor's wife is a valuable asset to any church in today's climate of apathy to the things of God.

Prayer:
King Jesus, lead us and keep us by Your Spirit every moment of every day. Help us to walk in Your ways and to accomplish everything You set out for us to do every day. Protect us from evil and provide for all of our daily needs. In Jesus’ name and for Your glory today and always.

Thought for the Day:
People who live in glass houses can never cast the first stone.