A Good Marriage - In Crisis

A crisis in a marriage calls for immediate action. We can either drift apart ending in bitterness, unforgiveness and probably divorce; or we can pull together, brainstorm for an equitable solution and pray together as we walk in the Spirit.

Divorce is never an option. It destroys lives - especially the life of the children involved in the marriage. They often feel abandoned, at fault for the divorce, and they inevitably question their parents' love for them.

They never learn to resolve conflict in their own relationships and often end up with the same results. Thankfully, a few of them will make wise choices and find mates that balance their personality or are willing to compromise and find common ground.

There is nothing more fulfilling in this earthly realm than to have a mate that cherishes us and thinks of us above him/her self. One that will laugh with us - not at us, enjoy hobbies together and serve God right alongside each other.

There is no fear in this type of love. We have the confidence that our partner will not throw us away like a sack of trash. They will help us to overcome our fears and insecurities and to love us in spite of them.

It is hard to feel secure when our partner does not allow unconditional love to flow from them to us. We are always on edge and never sure of our place in their heart, because we feel their condescension and derision.

God's love is unconditional. A commitment of Agape love in our marriage, shown in action and especially in word, will eradicate our fears and insecurities and give us a solid faith on which to stand (1 John 4:18).

We can count on Him to walk in and with us through every trial we experience in our marriage (Isaiah 43:1; Psalm 23:4). He infuses both marriage partners with His fruit in order to dwell together with understanding and unity.

Prayer:

Father God, an anxious heart wears us down, but consistent love from our mate goes a long way in building us up (Proverbs 12:25). Remind us not to allow discouragement in a troubled marriage to tear us down, because You are always with us and in us regardless of where we are and with whom we live (Joshua 1:9).

Help us not to worry when our mate grows distant from us, because You care for us and will work in our life for our ultimate good (Matthew 6:34; Romans 8:28; Isaiah 35:4; Luke 12:22-26). We humble our self before You and leave all of our worries in Your capable hands, because You care about us and will deliver us in Your timing and way (1 Peter 5:6-7; Psalm 55:22; Deuteronomy 31:6).

Thought for the Day:

The Lord is our Savior, not another person, vocation, place or thing; only He can provide us with the security and fulfillment that we long to possess during this lifetime. - Psalm 27:1

Forgiveness is Our Most Powerful Weapon

 

  

The root of bitterness, which grows in our soul with each trauma we experience in life, causes trouble and defiles our life as well as many in our family, church and friendships (Hebrews 12:16).

However, once we are Born Again, we are able to commune with God through our spirit, which was originally dead is sin (Ephesians 2:1). We have the King of kings dwelling within us by His Spirit (Colossians 1:27).

The presence of the Trinity abiding in us helps us to forgive past hurts, and helps us to put our future hurts into proper perspective. Until we forgive our self and others, Satan gains the advantage over us (2 Corinthians 2:10-11).

If we refuse to forgive, we give Satan permission to control that part of our soul, and to inflict his demons on our body and spirit as well. Satan holds us captive as slaves to His lies through our thoughts and emotions.

( www.theophostic.com )

The fruit of the Holy Spirit cannot manifest in those areas of our soul, and we limit God's Spirit from using us according to God's will. Our human efforts, actions and self-righteousness gain us nothing. Once we forgive our self and others, all of this changes.

Although we continue to experience occasional oppression by the rulers, authorities, spiritual forces of evil and powers of darkness in this world, the blood of Jesus sets us free from the bondage of sin and death (Leviticus 17:11; Roman 8:2; Ephesians 6:12; Revelation 21:4).

Forgiveness is the most powerful weapon in our arsenal against Satan's influence in our life. It takes the offender off our hook and puts that person squarely on God's hook, where He promises to deal with that person in His way and timing (Romans 12:19).

Prayer:

Father God, please help us to break Satan's bondage over our life by giving us the strength to forgive our self and others. Thank You for the blood of Christ, which paves our way to a victorious life. As we humble our self to You and resist the devil, he has to flee from our midst (James 4:7).

Then allow us to help those in our life who need love, acceptance, healing and restoration in their relationship with You. We present our self to You as a living sacrifice to do Your will for each moment of our day (Romans 12:1; Ephesians 2:10). Inspire and guide us by Your Spirit today and always.

Thought for the Day:

In Christ we have redemption through His blood and forgiveness for all of our sins, because of the riches of His mercy and grace toward us. - Ephesians 1:7

Two-Stepping

Our Christian walk is a two-step process. We start by repenting of our former way of life, which was degraded by Satan's lies and earthly desires (Ephesians 4:22). Each of us is distracted by various sinful elements.

Some of us lie, but God calls us to speak truth; or we steal and take what does not belong to us, yet God calls us to work and earn money to buy what we need, as well as to share with others (Ephesians 4:25, 28).

Some have trouble with anger; and though it is a God given emotion, we often harbor grudges, while God encourages us to forgive before the sun sets each day, so that we do not give Satan entry into our soul (Ephesians 4:26-27).

Other people use foul language, when God wants us to use our words to edify and minister grace to those who hear us. Some even take God's name in vain and use degrading words, which grieve God's Spirit (Ephesians 4:29-30).

All of us give in at one time or another to bitterness, quarreling, gossip, antagonism and forms of cruelty, when God calls us to live with humility, compassion, patience, gentleness and kindness, as we forgive slights and wrongs just as God forgives us (Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:10).

The second step is to renew our mind with the righteousness mind of Christ and to walk in true holiness all the days of our life (Luke 1:75; Ephesians 4:24). This may sound daunting, but Christ already did it for us.

We are buried with Christ through our baptism into His death, in order to be raised with Him from death in the glory of God, our Father. This allows us to live a fulfilled, blessed new life in Christ, as we exchange our corrupted character with the nature of Christ, promised to us by God Himself (2 Peter 1:4; Romans 6:4; Colossians 3:3-4).

Prayer:

Father God, by separating our self from the sin, which once bound us as its slave, we are freed from the law and allowed to serve You through Your Spirit, rather than by decrees and legalism (Romans 7:6). You enable us to submit to You as You transform our mind, rather than to be conformed to the design of this evil world.

We have no more desire to gratify the sinful desires of our flesh, and we walk as a new creation, Your handiwork, created in Christ to live in Your will, which You prepared for us prior to our birth (Ephesians 2:10; Romans 12:2, 13:14; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Colossians 3:10).

Thought for the Day:

My soul silently waits for God alone; my salvation comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my stronghold; I will never be shaken. - Psalm 62:1-2

The Truth about Forgiveness

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is our self. We struggle with forgiving the intrusion inflicted on us by others; but we often find it easier to forgive their insults and violation than to forgive our self. 

If we refuse to forgive others, the resulting bitterness is a malignancy, which invades our body, soul and spirit; yet, if we choose to forgive, we do not excuse their behavior, but we set our self free from the bondage unforgiveness causes (Ephesians 4:31-32). 

Our refusal to forgive our self, will inflict these same results in our body, soul and spirit (Proverbs 10:12). We grow bitter at our self for disappointing our self or someone else, or for failing to meet up to our own idealistic standards. 

Bitterness attracts other negative emotions, such as shame, depression and hopelessness. We accuse our self of ineptitude, carelessness, greediness and thoughtlessness. 

When we make choices that turn out badly, we are disappointed and hold a grudge against our self. These grudges fester and affect our future choices, our reactions to others and our feelings about our self (Hebrews 12:15). 

We end up in a downward spiral, which keeps us locked into negative thoughts, emotions and future behavior (Colossians 3:8). Therefore, it is imperative that we forgive even our self (Luke 6:37; Proverbs 20:22). 

There is no sin too wicked to receive God's forgiveness. God's Word tells us that to lust is equal to fornication or rape, and to hate is the same as murder (Matthew 5:21, 28). 

God considers all sins equal in their depravity. When we forgive our self and others, we humble our pride, admit that we are human and open our soul up to God's immeasurable grace (Hebrews 4:16). 

When bitterness and anger no longer take up space in our heart, we feel God's peace and joy filling the void. We bask in God's love for us, and His love empowers us to love our self and others. God calls us to forgive our human tendency to wound our self and one another (Psalm 103:12). 

Prayer: Father God, teach us humility through our foibles and failures. It is only in our weakness that we reach out to You. Help us to understand that to forgive our self and others is to free our self from the bondage of bitterness and unforgiveness (John 18:15-27). 

Help us to relax our impossible standards and to allow our self and others to be human (Philippians 3:13). Remind us that our prayers are hindered by negative emotions; yet, when we forgive and focus on the life of Christ within us, You can forgive us and open the windows of heaven to pour out Your blessings on our life (Mark 11:25; Malachi 3:10). 

Thought for the Day:
When we choose to forgive our self and others for being human, we allow our self the opportunity to experience the forgiveness and unconditional love of God in all of its fullness. - 1 John 1:9

Loving the Unlovable

 

Too often we judge people for their peculiarities and idiosyncrasies. We categorize them, box them up in neat little packages and stick them away on a shelf in our mind, ignoring them as much as possible.

Once in a while our paths cross again, and we are forced to interact with this peculiar individual once more. We take down our box, stick new labels on them and place them back on the shelf as quickly as possible. They may be our neighbor, spouse, child, sibling, relative, church member, co-worker or even our employer.

Please realize that within each of these precious people is a wounded soul. They are a product of a lifetime of events, which molded their personality to give them unique characteristics, which may irritate or even wound us deeply.

We may go so far as to harbor bitterness toward them and possibly even dismiss them from our life as a lost cause (Ephesians 4:32). However, these unlovable people are diamonds in the rough.

They are created by God, and He has a special plan for their life, just as He has for us (Ephesians 2:10). God put them in our life for us to minister His Agape love to them and to give them a secure and nurturing place to live (Matthew 5:47).

We are all fallible and have our own weaknesses and peculiarities. How would you want this person to treat you? There is healing for everyone at the cross of Christ.

Sometimes, people are unaware of God’s grace, and He gives us opportunities to give them unconditional love, patience, security and friendship to model God's character to them. His plan for this relationship may be for us to help heal the deep wounds within their soul.

Prayer:

Father God, You create everyone in Your image. We are all unlovable until You redeem us (Ephesians 1:7). In fact, You loved us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8). Teach us that when we allow Your Agape love to flow through us to someone else, it is hard to stay angry at them or to consider them worthless.

Remind us to pray for them and to look for opportunities to bless them. You may just use this individual to bless us in some way too, if we look beyond the aspects of their life which irritate or hurt us, and love them anyway.

Thought for the Day:

Don’t throw people away, because God wants us to use our freedom in Him to love and serve one another, just as He died for and blesses us. – Galatians 5:13