Victims of
abuse may turn into abusers in order to erase the shame, fears and
insecurities, which plague them. They neglect those whom they should cherish,
and they allow negative emotions to control our life and theirs.
We may use
anger as a means to protect our self from further abuse, but this sends mixed
messages. People never know when we will patiently suffer as a martyr or blow
up like a volcano at the least provocation.
We may not
be able to trust people, but we can trust God. Rather than acting with
bombastic and combative behavior, we find our strength and confidence in Christ's
quiet resolve within us.
Then we set
boundaries, and firmly but quietly caution people not to cross the line (Isaiah
30:15). They may test our boundaries; but if we consistently remind them, they will
soon learn to respect us.
The older we
get, the more we tell our self that the abuse happened a long time ago and we
should get over it. Yet the shameful effects of the violation and the loss of
our innocence and sense of trust can last a lifetime.
We may even
find our self questioning if the abuse actually happened. We live in denial and
convince our self that our abuser is a revered person who could never do
anything that horrific.
When a
trigger reminds us of the situation, it is because our soul is crying out for
validation and comfort. Our true inner self is desperately attempting to gain
our attention and to make us take the abuse seriously enough to stop it or to
simply acknowledge it.
Snippets of
words, body language, the shape of certain plants, an over-reaction that we
cannot explain, bizarre behavior that has no basis in reality are all ways that
our soul uses to force us to face and validate the incident(s).
Journaling
will enable us to get in touch with the episode(s) and tell our story of abuse
without having to make it public knowledge. Journaling validates our feelings,
nurtures our wounded soul and is extremely healing.
Prayer:
Father God,
You collect all of our tears in Your bottle and avenge every one of them (Psalm
56:8). Even if we feel that we somehow caused or deserved the abuse, You wash
away our shame and replace it with the righteousness of Christ (Isaiah 61:7).
Remind us
that forgiving our perpetrator actually helps us to heal by taking them off our
"hook" and placing them firmly on Your hook. You are much better at
rendering vengeance than we are (Romans 12:19; Deuteronomy 32:35). Thank You
for healing us from our past and giving us a bright future full of Your love
and acceptance (Jeremiah 29:11).
Thought for
the Day:
Loss of
innocence means that a person who was supposed to protect, nurture and cherish
us actually abused us and stole from us what rightfully belongs to us alone.
For more information, please join
me for regular tips about healing our soul at:
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