Two Becoming One Flesh - A Fulfilling Marriage

The marriage of a man and a woman is a union of two individuals joined as one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-11; Ephesians 5:31). God intends for them to serve Him as a team, as co-heirs with Christ of His entire Kingdom (Romans 8:17).

At first, a couple's attraction increases their love for one another. Yet, over time they gradually stop considering one another, doing the tiny thoughtful gestures for one another that mean so much and sharing the same goals and purpose in life (Ephesians 5:33).

As the years progress, the couple eventually take each other for granted, stop romantic overtures and make other pursuits their priority in life. They co-exist, but do not work as a team or care about each other's needs as much as they care about their own.

To the Wife:

There are many women who take their husband for granted. Some insist on spending more money than he makes. Others find their fulfillment in their home and children or in their job and ignore their husband's needs.

They get caught up in the pressure of their daily demands and make no time for their husband. They forget that men need visual stimulation to feel loving, and they make no effort to groom and dress nicely for him at home.

They forget to make his favorite meal, to shop for his preferences and to make time to listen to him share about his day. A wife is given the privilege of following the outline given in Proverbs 31.

She will flourishes as a wife, mother, homemaker and business woman in this creative capacity given to her by God. God's Spirit will give her wisdom and strength to minister to her family.

To the Husband:

A man will expect his wife to be sweet and accommodating and to keep him as her primary focus (Ephesians 5:25); yet, it is often the husband's poor choices, which keep the marriage in a state of perpetual insecurity and financial loss.

No woman can be sweet and submissive when her husband stops considering her needs and keeps her life in turmoil. Then he blames her hormones or personality for her negative reactions to him.

God desires to charge the husband to dwell with and to provide for his wife with love and understanding (1 Peter 3:7). If he does, then his wife will more easily submit to His loving leadership.

A man’s responsibility is to protect his wife and to give her the feeling of safety and security she deserves. He will not take her for granted, if he realizes everything which she does for him throughout the day after day (Ephesians 4:2, 32; Romans 12:16).

To the Couple:

Any couple can keep romance alive with spontaneous little gifts, daily times to snuggle, helping each other around the house, date nights, listening with focused attention, and an unexpected phone call or an email during the day proclaiming their love for one another (1 Peter 4:10). Try it and see!

Prayer:

Father God, the opposite sexes are just that - opposite. It seems that You played a trick on humanity by causing opposites to attract. However, Your plan all along was for opposites to complement one another.

We can draw from one another's strengths to make up for our own weaknesses. Remind us that we are a team, and we will dwell together in unity as we work and pray together under the direction of Your Holy Spirit (Psalm 133:1).

Thought for the Day:

As we make an effort to increase our love for each other until it overflows, we will submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. - 1 Thessalonians 3:12; Ephesians 5:21

Finding a Balance

Read: James 1:2-4

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.” - Hebrews 12:2

A ball spinning on a seal’s nose and a child’s twirling toy top have little in common except that both of their performances require balance. This reminds me of the fact that life also requires a balancing act. We often find ourselves thrown off center by confusion and catastrophe, which come when we least expect it. Our normal peaceful life spins out of control, just like the top and the ball, if they are disturbed. Each compartment of our life, which we meticulously created to provide us with security and a safe haven, suddenly tilts to one side like the Tower of Pisa.

We get disoriented and feel insecure and fearful. Reacting with negative emotions can create even more problems, because we panic and make poor decisions. We hectically, yet unsuccessfully, try to manage the disruptive people and events in our life in an attempt to make us feel safe again. But this never helps. In fact, it usually increases our anxiety, when these people react to the frustration we create in their lives.

Part of the problem occurs when we acquire more possessions than we need. Our life slowly sinks under a burden of stress created by trying to pay for this accumulation. Another factor comes if we lean toward making sinful decisions, because we end up reaping what we sow. A third aspect occurs when we tilt under the weight of the demands, which others place on our life.

So, what is the solution? We owe it to our self to simplify our life. We accomplish this in many different ways. We can sell off some of our accumulated goods and discipline our spending habits. We can make wise choices and maintain an unadulterated life of purity and serenity. We can also find a balance between what people need from us and what God wants us to do for them. Matthew 6:25-34 reminds us that worry never helped anyone. Peace comes only by trusting God to order our lives according to His will. He generously provides all of our necessities, even when life disintegrates before our eyes, if we will walk in obedience to His Spirit.

James exhorts us to keep a positive attitude throughout difficulties and temptations. He tells us that in this way our patience has a chance to grow. Then, patience gets us ready for anything life throws at us (James 1:2-4). Adversity develops strong character in us, which helps us to withstand the disheartening uncertainty of life and to ward off the eventual panic when it arises.

Paul admonishes us, in Hebrews 12:2, to keep our eyes on Jesus. By following the examples from Jesus’ life, we learn how to successfully live our own life. He prayed before beginning each day of ministry (Mark 1:35). He lived in the moment and did not worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:33-35). Jesus listened to His Father and followed His will in every word and deed. His focus stayed on God’s kingdom rather than on amassing worldly goods and fame. Ultimately, He humbled Himself, even to the point of death on the cross.

Prayer:

Lord Jesus, as we walk the tightrope of life, help us to focus on the equilibrium You achieve within each moment that we live, rather than focusing on the spinning details of our negative circumstances. Life wavers like the ocean, with a continuous ebb and flow, but You gave us the words of the prayer that never fails: "Father, not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42-43)


Thought for the Day:

When we trust God more and strive less, serenity seeps into every area of our life, no matter how the circumstances play out around us.