Creative Conflict in Marriage

A good marriage takes effort. When two - usually opposite - personalities combine under one roof, they often end up donning the boxing gloves and duking it out! Of course there is a simpler solution.

God gives us these diverse personalities and gifts, because together we can make wiser decisions. When we are at an impasse, we take the best from both of us and make a third, mutually agreeable choice which makes so much more sense.

By keeping our eyes on Jesus, we find God's perspective and will, and we walk together in peace through His Spirit. We find comfort and wisdom from God's Word and encourage one another (Psalm 119:71, 75-76).

We join our strengths and help one another to overcome our individual weaknesses. This takes humility, and pride will only gum up the works. Having to be right and the need to have one's own needs met first are no basis for wise decisions - they are part of our insecurities.

Together we help each other overcome our idiosyncrasies and failings and guarantee that our unified decisions are in God's will. Rather than accuse and fight when we disagree, we can brainstorm for that third alternative.

Trials and tribulation are easier to handle when faced together. Our frustration, discouragement and disappointments are shared by someone who loves us unconditionally. We comfort each other in our self-doubt.

God has a purpose in every trial, and He plants the seed for a miracle in each one of them (1 Peter 4:12). He works out all of them for our ultimate good. Both partners in the marriage are blessed as we keep each other strong and face life's devastating events as lovers and friends.

Our intimacy with God and with one another strengthens through every trial, which we face together. We learn to depend on one another rather than to fight one another; and together we depend on God's goodness more than on our own resources.

Prayer:

Father God, the difficulties and perplexities of life often wear us down and cause us to adopt defense mechanism, which cause negative issues in our marriage. Help us to heal from our personal, unresolved conflicts and to dwell with each other with understanding (1 Peter 3:7). Satan may influence our past, but we do not have to allow him to continue to hinder our present or future life. Help us to draw near to You and to resist Satan's lies, so he will flee from us (James 4:7).

Thank You for linking us with a mate who will strengthen our weaknesses, help us to heal from our past hurts and challenge us to seek Your joy and comfort. Teach us not to attempt to change our mate, but to change our self and to rely on You to meet our needs. Help us to work together as a couple to live in unity with Your Spirit and with one another.

Thought for the Day:

Momentary trials lead to long-term blessings, which last a lifetime when we depend on one another and on God to see us through them.

Dreaming

Dreams play an important part in our lives. They help us to maintain our mental, emotional and spiritual health. They usually occur in the deepest part of sleep, called our REM sleep (Job 33:15). They happen all throughout the night, however. Those we dream just before we awaken are the ones we remember most often. Although our body rests during sleep, our soul – our mind, will and emotions – continues to express our cares and concerns (Ecclesiastes 5:3). The content of our dreams is often continuous with our thought and behavior from our day. God also speaks to our spirit during some of our dreams (Acts 2:16,17; Joel 2:28).

Our dreams often help us to solve the problems, which we are ignoring or that are troubling us throughout the day. Some dreams are often very real and vivid to us; others are less detailed. We may be hungry and dream that we ate, or thirsty and dream that we drank; then when we wake up, our soul is still empty and faint (Isaiah 29:8). We often use our dreams to connect to psychological and emotional issues that we avoid during our waking moments.

We may have many dreams that seem disjointed and have no apparent interpretation. These occur to enable us to deal with issues we ignored during the day. Sometimes, certain aspects surface from the subconscious mind to add to the meaning of our dream and to give us a clue about some issue we are concerned about, but are ignoring. During sleep, when our conscious mind is disengaged, our brain tries to find solutions to our problems. It is wise to deal with these so our soul can move on to other issues.

God uses dreams to communicate to us (Genesis 40:8). For instance, God warns of sin, as He did with Abimelech when he had taken Sarah who was another man's wife (Genesis 20:3). God used a dream to encourage Gideon (Judges 7:13-15). God gives us guidance through dreams as he did for Pilate’s wife and Jesus’ earthly father and the wise men (Matthew 2: 12-22, 27:19; Genesis 17:2). Daniel had dreams and also interpreted them, because they came from God (Daniel 2:7, 2:19, 4:27, 4:34-37, 7:1-28). Solomon had a dream when he was a child that God would give him great wisdom (1 Kings 3:7). The Old Testament Joseph’s whole life was inundated with dreams and their interpretations (Genesis 37:5; Genesis 40 & 41).

In the last days, there will be many dreams (Acts 2:17; Joel 2:28). However, the Bible warns that false prophets will predict by dreams (Deuteronomy 13:1-3; 1 John 4:1). Therefore, we must compare with Scripture any dream or any word that seems to come from God, because the Bible is our standard for our faith and practice (2 Timothy 3:16-17; Psalm 19:7). We are not to put out trust in our dreams, but in the Lord (Ecclesiastes 5:7).

Prayer:

Father God, You know our future and have hope and a plan for us (Jeremiah 29:11). When we ignore your direction in our life, we suffer the consequences in our body, soul and spirit. Help us to walk in Your ways and to listen to the direction of Your Holy Spirit every moment of our day. Help us to make wise decisions and to deal with our inner conflict. Remind us to trust in your wisdom and to follow the guidance of Your Holy Spirit. May we always obey Your Spirit and walk in Your ways. We praise You for who You are and we thank You for all You do for us throughout our day.

Thought for the Day:

If we have need for wisdom, we can ask God, because He generously gives guidance and direction to us all. - James 1:5