A Good Marriage - In Crisis

A crisis in a marriage calls for immediate action. We can either drift apart ending in bitterness, unforgiveness and probably divorce; or we can pull together, brainstorm for an equitable solution and pray together as we walk in the Spirit.

Divorce is never an option. It destroys lives - especially the life of the children involved in the marriage. They often feel abandoned, at fault for the divorce, and they inevitably question their parents' love for them.

They never learn to resolve conflict in their own relationships and often end up with the same results. Thankfully, a few of them will make wise choices and find mates that balance their personality or are willing to compromise and find common ground.

There is nothing more fulfilling in this earthly realm than to have a mate that cherishes us and thinks of us above him/her self. One that will laugh with us - not at us, enjoy hobbies together and serve God right alongside each other.

There is no fear in this type of love. We have the confidence that our partner will not throw us away like a sack of trash. They will help us to overcome our fears and insecurities and to love us in spite of them.

It is hard to feel secure when our partner does not allow unconditional love to flow from them to us. We are always on edge and never sure of our place in their heart, because we feel their condescension and derision.

God's love is unconditional. A commitment of Agape love in our marriage, shown in action and especially in word, will eradicate our fears and insecurities and give us a solid faith on which to stand (1 John 4:18).

We can count on Him to walk in and with us through every trial we experience in our marriage (Isaiah 43:1; Psalm 23:4). He infuses both marriage partners with His fruit in order to dwell together with understanding and unity.

Prayer:

Father God, an anxious heart wears us down, but consistent love from our mate goes a long way in building us up (Proverbs 12:25). Remind us not to allow discouragement in a troubled marriage to tear us down, because You are always with us and in us regardless of where we are and with whom we live (Joshua 1:9).

Help us not to worry when our mate grows distant from us, because You care for us and will work in our life for our ultimate good (Matthew 6:34; Romans 8:28; Isaiah 35:4; Luke 12:22-26). We humble our self before You and leave all of our worries in Your capable hands, because You care about us and will deliver us in Your timing and way (1 Peter 5:6-7; Psalm 55:22; Deuteronomy 31:6).

Thought for the Day:

The Lord is our Savior, not another person, vocation, place or thing; only He can provide us with the security and fulfillment that we long to possess during this lifetime. - Psalm 27:1

Creative Conflict in Marriage

A good marriage takes effort. When two - usually opposite - personalities combine under one roof, they often end up donning the boxing gloves and duking it out! Of course there is a simpler solution.

God gives us these diverse personalities and gifts, because together we can make wiser decisions. When we are at an impasse, we take the best from both of us and make a third, mutually agreeable choice which makes so much more sense.

By keeping our eyes on Jesus, we find God's perspective and will, and we walk together in peace through His Spirit. We find comfort and wisdom from God's Word and encourage one another (Psalm 119:71, 75-76).

We join our strengths and help one another to overcome our individual weaknesses. This takes humility, and pride will only gum up the works. Having to be right and the need to have one's own needs met first are no basis for wise decisions - they are part of our insecurities.

Together we help each other overcome our idiosyncrasies and failings and guarantee that our unified decisions are in God's will. Rather than accuse and fight when we disagree, we can brainstorm for that third alternative.

Trials and tribulation are easier to handle when faced together. Our frustration, discouragement and disappointments are shared by someone who loves us unconditionally. We comfort each other in our self-doubt.

God has a purpose in every trial, and He plants the seed for a miracle in each one of them (1 Peter 4:12). He works out all of them for our ultimate good. Both partners in the marriage are blessed as we keep each other strong and face life's devastating events as lovers and friends.

Our intimacy with God and with one another strengthens through every trial, which we face together. We learn to depend on one another rather than to fight one another; and together we depend on God's goodness more than on our own resources.

Prayer:

Father God, the difficulties and perplexities of life often wear us down and cause us to adopt defense mechanism, which cause negative issues in our marriage. Help us to heal from our personal, unresolved conflicts and to dwell with each other with understanding (1 Peter 3:7). Satan may influence our past, but we do not have to allow him to continue to hinder our present or future life. Help us to draw near to You and to resist Satan's lies, so he will flee from us (James 4:7).

Thank You for linking us with a mate who will strengthen our weaknesses, help us to heal from our past hurts and challenge us to seek Your joy and comfort. Teach us not to attempt to change our mate, but to change our self and to rely on You to meet our needs. Help us to work together as a couple to live in unity with Your Spirit and with one another.

Thought for the Day:

Momentary trials lead to long-term blessings, which last a lifetime when we depend on one another and on God to see us through them.