One More Time Again

The other day, after hearing a loud thud, I went into the bedroom to find my husband flat on his face in a tiny space between the chair and the bed. I prayed about what to do, but felt total peace.

My initial reaction was to say, "Well, Beloved, you have gotten yourself into quite a pickle." He was virtually squeezed between the furniture and I was amazed at how he could have gotten into that small space.

I rubbed his back, but could not tell if he was dead or alive. The words of John Denver's song flitted through my mind, "I always thought that I'd see you one more time again."

I wondered if my Heavenly Daddy took His Saint home to be with Him. I internally prepared myself for a new chapter of life and continued to pray about what to do.

"Home alone" was not a state of being that I looked forward to experiencing a second time. I lost one husband when he decided there was no option for us but divorce; and now the husband that God gave me to care for and cherish me was flat on his face on the bedroom floor.

Hearing my voice, my comatose giant stirred and I immediately asked, "Beloved, should I call 911? Are you hurting any place…head, heart?"

His weak response was, "My knee is really hurting me right now."

A knee…well, that did not sound very ominous. I inquired, "May I help you up, or would you like to rest there a few more moments?" As if being squeezed between two pieces of furniture could be comfortable.

"No, I need to get up" was his sweet reply. Helping him to a standing position, I supported his considerable weight on my small frame, but I did not mind. He was still ALIVE.

We staggered over to the side of the bed for him to sit down. He immediately began rehashing what had happened in the last 10 minutes. 

"I woke up with a start from a cramp in my leg and jumped up to work it out. Then, instead of sitting on the edge of the bed to allow the blood to flow into my head, I went to the bathroom.

"As I stood there, I got lightheaded and broke out into a cold sweat. The next thing I remember, I heard a loud thud and I lost consciousness until I heard your sweet voice talking to me."

"How did you fall into that tiny, carpeted space between the furniture?"

"It had to be the Lord, because I could have broken bones, gotten a black eye or hit my head on some piece of furniture or the tiled bathroom floor; but when I fainted, He had me free fall right into the only clear, carpeted space available."

We both shook our heads in wonder and silently praised God for His Fatherly care of His child. "Since I just popped out of bed when my leg cramped, I guess I should have sat down and let the blood into my head before going to the bathroom."

We stared at one another over the miracle we both just witnessed. Our awesome God cared for His beloved Saint through every second of that ordeal, which could have left me a widow.

I greatly rejoiced and clung to my husband and cried. He wrapped his arm around me as he always does and snuggled me into my favorite place in the whole world…firmly protected in the circle of his love with my head resting peacefully on his muscled chest.

Prayer:

Father God, since we are loved by You, I know from experience that losing a mate does not hurt nearly as much as one would anticipate. You walk with us - in us - through every step of the rocky road of recovery. You work out everything to our advantage and You provide for all of our needs: physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and financially. As an authentic Believer, we experience every trial as a grand adventure in You with new people, places, ministries and purposes.

We still have anxiety which attempts to derail our faith, but You give us constant 'hugs' throughout the day to remind us that You are in us and living this experience in union with us. We still grieve our losses, but the tears are healing to our soul. Remind us not to take life for granted. Thank You for Your love and mercy in this case, by allowing me to actually see my beloved husband one more time again.

Thought for the Day:

As we completely surrender our heart to God in prayer, and relinquish our hold on unholy thoughts, words and deeds, we will not be ashamed or anxious, but confident and full of His courage. - Job 11:13-15

Emotional Honesty

Emotional honesty is an oxymoron. We are so adept at hiding behind masks that we do not even know how we really feel or how to express that to other people. Journaling our true feelings is a good way to start.

We can also meet regularly with a trusted friend and verbally express our true feelings and deepest thoughts. We may even surprise our self when we discover our deepest feelings.

Talking, drawing, music and writing releases our soul from the bondage of playing games and pretending to be someone other than our true self. We release pent up emotional energy that formerly robbed us of physical energy.

Then, staying in touch with our true feelings allows us to find the root causes of all of our negative emotions. We can deal with the issue, or put it in God's capable hands.

Imperfection brings with it a certain vulnerability, shame and fear of not surviving. However, perfectionism is a demonic plague on humanity. Once we rid our self of the need to be perfect we can breathe a refreshing breath of pure air. We allow God's Spirit to do His perfecting work in us (Matthew 5:48). 

We also learn to accept life as God allows it to play out in the moments of our day. We stop resisting and attempting to control the issues. Instead, we find out what God is saying to us through them. We look for the seed of a miracle in each one of them.

When our perspective on life changes, so do our attitudes, thoughts, feelings and actions. We stop trying to force God into our box. Our paradigm, expectations and goals remain fluid in order to obey the leading of God's Spirit.

We learn to cherish every aspect of who we are, even our failings. We are kind to our self and learn to have more compassion on other people. We see life from their perspective and stop judging them and our self, but relate to them with God's mercy and grace.

Prayer:

Father God, our fears are not rational or logical; and often, not even conscious. We react in fear because our current circumstances trigger the memory of an event from our childhood. People look at us as if we have two heads and judge us as emotionally unstable, unpredictable and unbalanced. Yet, the fact is that we are simply wounded children.

Help us to rid our soul of the painful memories which litter our past. Teach us to cling to You as our defense rather than to defend our self. That way, no enemy can prosper against us (Isaiah 54:17). You are our comfort and the lifter of our head (Psalm 3:3). You heal us from the inside out and cleanse us all over. You make all things new and bring us into Your holy hill in Your perfect time and way (2 Corinthians 5:17; Psalm 24:3-6).

Thought for the Day:

When we pass judgment on our self or someone else, we are taking God's place and abusing and wounding our self and others more deeply than the pain we already experienced in our past.

Unashamed Confidence

Nothing, which comes into our life, is a surprise to God. He saw it all before the beginning of time (Ephesians 1:4). We have unashamed confidence in His goodness and mercy.

On the cross, Jesus completed the work of redeeming, sanctifying and perfecting us (Hebrews 10:14). Now, He is working through us to perform His purpose in each situation in our life as it occurs.

As we grasp the fact of who we really are in Christ, we live by faith in the eternal, and not by sight in the temporal realm of life (2 Corinthians 5:7).

When trials and tribulation afflict our life, we no longer have to overcome them, because Christ lives in us (Galatians 2:20). We have His joy in our tribulation, because we know that God has a divine purpose for us in it.

Trials are simply another adventure in Christ; an opportunity for Him to show His divine nature through us and to prove His abundant love to us. Even in death we are victorious.

God allowed Job to experience devastating loss in his life; but He used Job for His glory in each one of them. In the end, God gave Job much more than he ever lost (Job 42:12).

We enjoy God’s presence in our life now, and we look forward to dwelling with Him where righteousness reigns forever and ever, in the new heaven and new earth (2 Peter 3:13).

Prayer:

Father God, when we forget that we are simply aliens and pilgrims in this world, we take life too seriously (Hebrews 11:13; 1 Peter 2:11). We put all of our effort into attaining success in this world; and yet, we are never fulfilled. Give us spiritual eyes to see Your reality as we trust in Your mercy and goodness.

Help us to believe Your Word and to allow it to transform our life as we live by the direction of Your Spirit through each moment of every day. We look forward to the time when You decide to take us home to live with You in glory.

Thought for the Day:

As we continue to live in Christ, we walk in His holiness; when He returns for His bride, we will face Him with unashamed confidence. - 1 John 2:28