“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15
In my younger years I had a penchant for holding grudges. I wanted the other person to hurt as badly as I did, and I wanted justice for the offense. As I matured in my faith, God taught me that by expressing and suppressing anger, I allowed it to fester and poison my spirit, soul and body. Unforgiveness created an open wound in my soul that worsened into a state of physical sickness, mental anguish, emotional distress and spiritual hindrance.
Forgiveness is the necessary first aid for this putrefying wound. Otherwise resentment and bitterness spread to infect every part of our being. Corrie Ten Boom, a wise Christian woman who lived throught a Nazi concentration camp, had reason to be bitter. Her family helped many Jews to escape from the clutches of Hitler’s regime; however, her family suffered greatly for defending God’s chosen people. If anyone had a right to harbor bitterness against their tormentors, she did. Her advice to us all, at the end of her grueling ordeal, is this, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize that the prisoner was you."
We are the ones who pay the penalty for unforgiveness, not the one who perpetrated the crime against us. They do not even care about how we feel. However, when we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from bondage to the offense that previously imprisoned us. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus reminds us that we are forgiven with the same measure that we use to forgive others. If we fail to forgive our debtors, He will have to withhold forgiveness from us (Mark 6:12). Paul recommended that we bear with one another and forgive whatever grievances we have against each other (Colossians 3:13). However, forgiveness may not be a one-time occurence, in which we never remember the offense again. Over our lifetime, we may need to repeatedly forgive the miscreant every time we remember the event.
On Calvary’s cross, Jesus actually forgave those who killed him, because He understood the wounded state of the human heart. He saw the crucifixion from their perspective (Luke 23:34). Once we recognize that all humans are wounded and feel inadequate, we realize that our malefactors hurt us out of their own pain. On our best days, a human’s self-esteem hovers somewhere between fragile and devastated. Sometimes, all it takes is a tiny slight, or even a perceived slight, to send us into a rage or into the dark halls of depression.
These attacks bother us because we forget who we really are. Jesus loved us enough to die for the penalty of our sins and to adopt us into His family. Now, we are King’s kids. No matter what anyone does to us or says about us, it should have no affect on us, because God is working it out for our good (Romans 8:28). As we pray through the trauma of the event, we start to view offensive people in the same light that Jesus sees them. We also see ourselves as being just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. If we need forgiveness, which God does not withhold from us, then we cannot withhold forgiveness from anyone else either.
What is forgiveness? Is it a mental choice involving my will, a physical act, or is it a feeling and an emotional condition? It actually entails all of these aspects. Forgiveness starts as a choice, a mental decision, which we make. The emotions accompanying forgiveness may not come for quite a while, not until the sting of the offense fades a bit. Jesus recommends that we also make forgiveness a physical act. He says that if our enemy is hungry, we should give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. God promises that this method of dealing with offenders will prick his/her conscience (Proverbs 25:22) and change his/her attitude toward us, as well as to earn us a reward from the Lord Himself.
The Bible specifically tells us not to resist an evil person but to turn the other cheek, to give him our cloak as well as our shirt, and to go the extra mile. This goes against the human concept of fairness ingrained in us, but God’s ways are higher than our ways. As we choose to forgive, we receive the reward of our forgiveness, which is physical, emotional, mental and spiritual freedom. Once we finally let go of the negative emotions attached to the trauma, the matter is then settled in our heart.
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, let this Godly wisdom work an eternal perspective of life into my soul. No matter what anyone says or does to me, it does not matter from Your point of view. You are the author and finisher of my faith and You work all things out for my good, even the negative aspects of life. Thought For The Day:
Anger diminishes you, but forgiveness exalts you in due time.