Part
of the charm of dating someone new is that we have so much to learn about one
another. We have so many questions and we are so eager to unlock the secrets of
our soul, and to share the details of our life that make us who we are today.
Some
people talk about their self the whole time and take very little interest in us
or our feelings or thoughts. We grow bored with people like that, because they
are so self-absorbed.
Even long-term
couples often eventually lose interest in one another, because they stop
sharing and caring about one another. They get caught up in the menial details
of life and think of one another's issues as boring or not worthy of our
attention.
To
avoid this from happening, asking questions and listening with interest keeps
our relationship fresh and intimate. We truly want to know how that business
deal turned out or what interesting new person each of us met during our day.
We
care about how life affects one another, and we pray for one another. We let
each other know that nothing is too trivial to share. Even if the details do
not interest us, we take an interest because they are important to our spouse
and our spouse is important to us.
Sharing
those intimate details helps us to make sense out of a quandary. We gain
another perspective about what happened. We see our trauma through someone
else's eyes and ears. We may discover that we took something the wrong way or
reacted too seriously over some mundane issue.
We
learn new facets of our mate's personality as they share. We rejoice with them
as they rejoice, and we mourn over their defeats and sorrows. We feel remorse
over things we did or said that caused them pain or hurt feelings.
We
keep the lines of communication open and we enjoy each other's company, even
during times of companionable silence. We develop a soulmate relationship and
often discover that we are one another's best friend.
We end
up planning times to talk each day, maybe once we helped each other put the
children to bed. We share with one another the funny things our children said
or did. This shared laughter works like medicine in our soul (Proverbs 17:22).
We
also pray together about our needs and our children's concerns. We brainstorm
together on how to deal with any unpleasant issues. We trust God together for
His provision for all of our needs.
Prayer:
Father
God, teach us tools to keep the lines of communication open between us and You,
and between us and our significant others. Give us Your compassion toward each
other and Your wisdom in solving issues that arise in our shared life. Kindle
the flames of Your agape love in us for one another, and help us to see that we
truly love one another even when the romantic feelings fade.
Remind
us that ours is a deeper love that goes beyond fickle feelings, and is built on
the bedrock of commitment to You and to one another. Teach us to laugh
together, to share one another's burdens, and to forebear with one another's
foibles and peculiarities. Help us to step in the gap for each other and to
allow You to use our strengths to help each other's weaknesses.
Thought
for the Day:
Open
lines of communication keep a good marriage strong and healthy, as we let each
other know that we truly value each other's thoughts, feelings, fears and joys.
